Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
Talking of sentences...
On my first day in prison, my cellmate said to me, "If you ever come close to me, I'll f
king skin you. When we're sleeping, you don't fking touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either."
"fking great," I thought, "First day in here and I'm already married."
On my first day in prison, my cellmate said to me, "If you ever come close to me, I'll f
king skin you. When we're sleeping, you don't fking touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either.""f
king great," I thought, "First day in here and I'm already married."I couldn't be bothered to rejig this for a British audience - lazy copy and paste.
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached by a game warden in Arkansas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
"Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney... you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached by a game warden in Arkansas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
"Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney... you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
LordGrover said:
I couldn't be bothered to rejig this for a British audience - lazy copy and paste.
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached by a game warden in Arkansas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
"Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney... you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
I've read this three times and I still don't get it. I really tried. A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached by a game warden in Arkansas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
"Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney... you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
Can someone cleverer than me please explain?
8Ace said:
I've read this three times and I still don't get it. I really tried.
Can someone cleverer than me please explain?
He is fishing illegally.Can someone cleverer than me please explain?
He claims they are his pets.
He releases them.
They aren't really his pets.
The officer now has no proof he was fishing.
Seriously? You needed that explaining?
8Ace said:
LordGrover said:
I couldn't be bothered to rejig this for a British audience - lazy copy and paste.
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached by a game warden in Arkansas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
"Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney... you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
I've read this three times and I still don't get it. I really tried. A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached by a game warden in Arkansas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
"Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney... you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
Can someone cleverer than me please explain?
Warden was duped into allowing him to release fish.
Bloke claimed never to have had fish in first place.
Does this help?
8Ace said:
Ayahuasca said:
Bloke had fish illegally.
Warden was duped into allowing him to release fish.
Bloke claimed never to have had fish in first place.
Does this help?
Ah, thanks. Still not laughing but now I know what it's about Warden was duped into allowing him to release fish.
Bloke claimed never to have had fish in first place.
Does this help?
Ayahuasca said:
8Ace said:
Ayahuasca said:
Bloke had fish illegally.
Warden was duped into allowing him to release fish.
Bloke claimed never to have had fish in first place.
Does this help?
Ah, thanks. Still not laughing but now I know what it's about Warden was duped into allowing him to release fish.
Bloke claimed never to have had fish in first place.
Does this help?
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