Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

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Ayahuasca

27,427 posts

280 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
A crab was using his pincers (granted, somewhat improbably) to dig up potatoes when, all of a sudden, he lost a claw in a freakish accident.

Not to be defeated, he set about rebuilding the claw out of a root vegetable. 'Is that potato, so you can carry on digging?' his friend asked.

'No', he said, 'it's turnip'.



PoleDriver

28,641 posts

195 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
confused

havoc

30,081 posts

236 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
PoleDriver said:
confused
I believe it's supposed to be a phonetic joke "to nip".

But as it's on this thread it's clearly not funny.


Can we have the Latvian jokes back now please?

cookmysock

844 posts

202 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
havoc said:
PoleDriver said:
confused
I believe it's supposed to be a phonetic joke "to nip".

But as it's on this thread it's clearly not funny.


Can we have the Latvian jokes back now please?
Soldier come. Take Sean Connery joke. Is shad.

silverfoxcc

7,690 posts

146 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
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That last jokes punchline is a bit fishy

PoleDriver

28,641 posts

195 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
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I'm not taking the bait!
Oh.......

getmecoat

havoc

30,081 posts

236 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
The one-line(r)s are the worst...but I think we're making a rod for our own (hump)backs here...

Ayahuasca

27,427 posts

280 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
A man ate a load of anchovies and sardines. Then he waited with baited breath for a fish to swim in.

Dusty964

6,923 posts

191 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
Top tip-

Save time when typing fish based puns, by not bothering.
Simply look back through the thread for last time they were posted, realise they were tragically unfunny then (and no doubt the time before, and before that, and before that) and disregard the notion of trotting them out again.......

Ayahuasca

27,427 posts

280 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
Dusty964 said:
Top tip-

Save time when typing fish based puns, by not bothering.
Simply look back through the thread for last time they were posted, realise they were tragically unfunny then (and no doubt the time before, and before that, and before that) and disregard the notion of trotting them out again.......
trotting? wink

You almost had us.

McAndy

12,477 posts

178 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
Dusty964 said:
Top tip-

Save time when typing fish based puns, by not bothering.
Simply look back through the thread for last time they were posted, realise they were tragically unfunny then (and no doubt the time before, and before that, and before that) and disregard the notion of trotting them out again.......
Thanks. That put us in our plaice.

Chim

7,259 posts

178 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
Dusty964 said:
Top tip-

Save time when typing fish based puns, by not bothering.
Simply look back through the thread for last time they were posted, realise they were tragically unfunny then (and no doubt the time before, and before that, and before that) and disregard the notion of trotting them out again.......
Oooo, somebody is a bit crabby tonight

edo

16,699 posts

266 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
Chim said:
Dusty964 said:
Top tip-

Save time when typing fish based puns, by not bothering.
Simply look back through the thread for last time they were posted, realise they were tragically unfunny then (and no doubt the time before, and before that, and before that) and disregard the notion of trotting them out again.......
Oooo, somebody is a bit crabby tonight
Yup, Dusty seems to be floundering a bit. Take some cod liver oil old chap and perch up a bit.

Dusty964

6,923 posts

191 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
McAndy said:
Dusty964 said:
Top tip-

Save time when typing fish based puns, by not bothering.
Simply look back through the thread for last time they were posted, realise they were tragically unfunny then (and no doubt the time before, and before that, and before that) and disregard the notion of trotting them out again.......
Thanks. That put us in our plaice.
Bravo. Too funny.


bigkeeko

1,370 posts

144 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
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Why don't they just hurry up and cure dyslexia?

It's not exactly Brian Sugary


mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

256 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
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What kind of paint gets Rolf Harris worked up?

Touch up paint.

Gaspode

4,167 posts

197 months

Friday 1st August 2014
quotequote all
edo said:
Chim said:
Dusty964 said:
Top tip-

Save time when typing fish based puns, by not bothering.
Simply look back through the thread for last time they were posted, realise they were tragically unfunny then (and no doubt the time before, and before that, and before that) and disregard the notion of trotting them out again.......
Oooo, somebody is a bit crabby tonight
Yup, Dusty seems to be floundering a bit. Take some cod liver oil old chap and perch up a bit.
I thought he might be the manta rays the issue...

FredClogs

14,041 posts

162 months

Friday 1st August 2014
quotequote all
Dusty964 said:
Top tip-

Save time when typing fish based puns, by not bothering.
Simply look back through the thread for last time they were posted, realise they were tragically unfunny then (and no doubt the time before, and before that, and before that) and disregard the notion of trotting them out again.......
If you can't stand the puns get trout of the joke thread...

Nom de ploom

4,890 posts

175 months

Friday 1st August 2014
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Rolf said apparently it was all going well until I started meddling with those pesce kids...

is that an ok Rolf / Fish platter euphemism....???







Edited by Nom de ploom on Friday 1st August 11:59

Finlandia

7,803 posts

232 months

Friday 1st August 2014
quotequote all
Justin Cyder said:
Is grateful for militia intervention.
No that Crimea, this Latvia biggrin

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