Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to
go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his
problem.
In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready
to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol.
All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.
At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting.
As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position.
The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired
the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How
did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well. When I fired the pistol,
my wife sh** on my face, bit off the end of my dick, and my neighbour
came out of the wardrobe with his hands in the air."
go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his
problem.
In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready
to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol.
All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.
At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting.
As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position.
The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired
the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How
did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well. When I fired the pistol,
my wife sh** on my face, bit off the end of my dick, and my neighbour
came out of the wardrobe with his hands in the air."
A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time.
The teacher says to the first child 'hello Becky, what have you been doing this playtime?'
Becky replies ' I have been playing in the sand'
'Very good' says the teacher 'if you can spell "sand" on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit'
Becky duly goes and writes 'sand' on the blackboard. 'Very good' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.
The teacher then says 'Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?
'Freddie replies 'playing with Becky in the sand box'
'Very good' says the teacher. ' If you can spell "box" on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit'
Freddie duly goes and writes 'box' on the blackboard. 'Very good' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.
Teacher then says 'Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?'
'No' replies Mohammed, 'I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing stones at me and calling me nasty names'
'Oh dear' says the teacher. 'That sounds like blatant unadulterated racial discrimination to me' ..............
I tell you what, if you can write "blatant unadulterated racial discrimination" on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit
The teacher says to the first child 'hello Becky, what have you been doing this playtime?'
Becky replies ' I have been playing in the sand'
'Very good' says the teacher 'if you can spell "sand" on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit'
Becky duly goes and writes 'sand' on the blackboard. 'Very good' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.
The teacher then says 'Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?
'Freddie replies 'playing with Becky in the sand box'
'Very good' says the teacher. ' If you can spell "box" on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit'
Freddie duly goes and writes 'box' on the blackboard. 'Very good' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.
Teacher then says 'Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?'
'No' replies Mohammed, 'I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing stones at me and calling me nasty names'
'Oh dear' says the teacher. 'That sounds like blatant unadulterated racial discrimination to me' ..............
I tell you what, if you can write "blatant unadulterated racial discrimination" on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit
Edited by GR4H4M on Sunday 31st August 17:19
McAndy said:
Thom981 said:
I bought Prince's Greatest Hits box set the other day. It was 20 quid but I partied like it was £19.99.
Oxymoronic.I had a mate who tried to shag a bull instead of a cow. Now that was Oxymoronic
Edited by VladD on Tuesday 2nd September 14:21
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