Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
Pat and Mick go to a building site for a job.
The foreman invited them into his office.
Looking at Pat, he said "Whats your name"
Pat said "Pat", wollop, the foreman decked him and said
"Your Irish be proud of it, when I ask you your name I expect to hear Patrick"
Turning to Mick, he says "And whats your name"
Mick said "Mickrick"
The foreman invited them into his office.
Looking at Pat, he said "Whats your name"
Pat said "Pat", wollop, the foreman decked him and said
"Your Irish be proud of it, when I ask you your name I expect to hear Patrick"
Turning to Mick, he says "And whats your name"
Mick said "Mickrick"
Texan walked into a barbershop, sat on the barber's chair and said,
"I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."
The barber (using a straight razor by the way) began to lather his face, while a woman with the most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen, knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The Texan said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."
She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that."
The Texan said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."
She said, "You tell him, he is the one shaving you."
"I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."
The barber (using a straight razor by the way) began to lather his face, while a woman with the most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen, knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The Texan said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."
She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that."
The Texan said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."
She said, "You tell him, he is the one shaving you."
Ayahuasca said:
silverfoxcc said:
jbudgie said:
ChemicalChaos said:
How do you tell a Chemist from a Coal miner?
Ask them to pronounce "unionised"
An oldy but goody.Ask them to pronounce "unionised"
Coal miner says union-ised
The Moose said:
Ayahuasca said:
silverfoxcc said:
jbudgie said:
ChemicalChaos said:
How do you tell a Chemist from a Coal miner?
Ask them to pronounce "unionised"
An oldy but goody.Ask them to pronounce "unionised"
Coal miner says union-ised
te joke.While riding one day, a cowboy meets an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and begins a conversation.
“Hey, nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?” “Dog no talk,” replies the Indian. Unperturbed, the cowboy continues.
“Hey dog, how’s it going?” he queries. “Doin’ alright,” shrugs the dog, looking up. The Indian looks shocked.
“How does your owner treat you?” he continues. “Real good,” replies the pooch. “He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
The Indian’s jaw drops in disbelief. “Mind if I talk to your horse?” continues the cowboy. “Horse no talk,” states the Native American.
“We’ll see,” says the cowboy. “Hey horse, how’s it going?” “Good,” smiles the nag. “And how does your owner treat you?” “Pretty good,” says the horse. “He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me.”
“Good, mind if I talk to your sheep?” asks the cowboy. “Sheep liar,” snaps the Indian.
“Hey, nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?” “Dog no talk,” replies the Indian. Unperturbed, the cowboy continues.
“Hey dog, how’s it going?” he queries. “Doin’ alright,” shrugs the dog, looking up. The Indian looks shocked.
“How does your owner treat you?” he continues. “Real good,” replies the pooch. “He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
The Indian’s jaw drops in disbelief. “Mind if I talk to your horse?” continues the cowboy. “Horse no talk,” states the Native American.
“We’ll see,” says the cowboy. “Hey horse, how’s it going?” “Good,” smiles the nag. “And how does your owner treat you?” “Pretty good,” says the horse. “He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me.”
“Good, mind if I talk to your sheep?” asks the cowboy. “Sheep liar,” snaps the Indian.
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