Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[LordGrover]

Just for no fun at all, try googling dissecting kittens. :sadfacesmilie:

[sc0tt]

Vaud said:

Grumpy so and so. Jokes, like live kittens are best not dissected..

[Tubbytommy]

Some Gump said:

Is this a "sc0tt the " thread? If so, i reckon this guy is the one...

Fixed that for you...😄

[Vipers]

I thought I could talk my way out of the speeding ticket, the the cop noticed my dog in the back, and the scratch marks on the seat doh......

[kowalski655]

That's evidence of rapid acceleration rather than speed Shirley?
Which would probably be dangerous driving,so actually worse!

[Vipers]

kowalski655 said:

That's evidence of rapid acceleration rather than speed Shirley?
Which would probably be dangerous driving,so actually worse!

As always, just the messenger.

[Laurel Green]

Vipers said:

As always, just the messenger.

...and deserves a chuckle.

[FredClogs]

sc0tt said:

GOG440 said:

Why are Babybel so popular at Christmas


Because they're baby cheesus

I don't get it. Apart from a baby jesus reference it's not funny at all?

In fact why did you type this out?

Why was a young einstein popular at christmas? Because he was a baby genius.

I Wrote that myself after googling words that rhyme with jesus just to prove how inept you are at humour.

They are baby cheeses.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba baby bell cheeses

[kowalski655]

Laurel Green said:

Vipers said:

As always, just the messenger.

...and deserves a chuckle.

Oh definitely
And now I can see the dog's expression properly(now on PC,was on phone earlier) have another

[GOG440]

sc0tt said:

GOG440 said:

Why are Babybel so popular at Christmas


Because they're baby cheesus

I don't get it. Apart from a baby jesus reference it's not funny at all?

In fact why did you type this out?

Why was a young einstein popular at christmas? Because he was a baby genius.

I Wrote that myself after googling words that rhyme with jesus just to prove how inept you are at humour.

Do you have to be such a miserable sod?
Every time I see you post in a thread it is to bh about what a previous poster has written.
If you dont like a bit of childish humour why the hell are you even reading this thread?


And for clarity my 9 year old told me this joke, it made me groan then laugh and seemed to me to be at just the right level for this thread.

[iwantagta]

GOG440 said:

sc0tt said:

GOG440 said:

Why are Babybel so popular at Christmas


Because they're baby cheesus

I don't get it. Apart from a baby jesus reference it's not funny at all?

In fact why did you type this out?

Why was a young einstein popular at christmas? Because he was a baby genius.

I Wrote that myself after googling words that rhyme with jesus just to prove how inept you are at humour.

Do you have to be such a miserable sod?
Every time I see you post in a thread it is to bh about what a previous poster has written.
If you dont like a bit of childish humour why the hell are you even reading this thread?


And for clarity my 9 year old told me this joke, it made me groan then laugh and seemed to me to be at just the right level for this thread.

I liked it.....

[iwantagta]

What do Eskimos have in common with Tupperware?

Both like a nice tight seal.

[Laurel Green]

iwantagta said:

What do Eskimos have in common with Tupperware?

Both like a nice tight seal.

[MLH]

After the rapturous acceptance of my last joke, its the way i tell 'em, can someone clear up what we can and cant joke about on here as i've got some right crackers!

[deltashad]

Judge- Why did you park your car here?

Victim- Because it said 'fine' for parking.

[northwest monkey]

GOG440 said:

Why are Babybel so popular at Christmas


Because they're baby cheesus

Works for me

[littleredrooster]

sc0tt said:

If you are going to disect a joke do if properly.

Whilst i'm here. Why do bank's love christmas? Because of Visas.

See, still st ...

...and if you're going to take the p155 out of others, at least try to get your spelling and grammar correct...

*dissect*
*do it properly*
*I'm*
*banks*
*Christmas*

<parp>

[vx220]

Vaud said:

Grumpy so and so. Jokes, like live kittens are best not dissected..

Agreed

Also, this thing about "it's not funny if you have to explain it", surely that says more about the audience than the quality of the joke?

[6th Gear]

[Laurel Green]

^^^^Then ate them! ^^^