Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
A young couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween ball. Then the wife came down with a headache but told her husband to go anyway and enjoy himself. He made a token protest, but she insisted and said she was going to take some paracetamol and go to bed. So off he went.
Later the wife awoke to find her headache gone, and as it was still early decided to go to the party. Because the husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun seeing what he got up to when she was not around.
On arrival she spotted him leaping around on the dance floor with every female he could find, stealing the odd kiss and copping the occasional feel.
So she sidled sexily up to him, persuaded him to leave his partner, and let him go as far as he wanted. Soon he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so they went outside and were soon shagging like mad. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what he would say when he got back.
When he came in she asked him how the party had gone. He said, "Oh, boring as hell. You know it's no fun without you." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "Not at all - soon as I got in I met Pete, Bill and a few others, and they were bored too so we went in the spare room and played cards all night. But I tell you what ... the bloke who borrowed my costume said he had a bloody great time!"
Later the wife awoke to find her headache gone, and as it was still early decided to go to the party. Because the husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun seeing what he got up to when she was not around.
On arrival she spotted him leaping around on the dance floor with every female he could find, stealing the odd kiss and copping the occasional feel.
So she sidled sexily up to him, persuaded him to leave his partner, and let him go as far as he wanted. Soon he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so they went outside and were soon shagging like mad. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what he would say when he got back.
When he came in she asked him how the party had gone. He said, "Oh, boring as hell. You know it's no fun without you." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "Not at all - soon as I got in I met Pete, Bill and a few others, and they were bored too so we went in the spare room and played cards all night. But I tell you what ... the bloke who borrowed my costume said he had a bloody great time!"
Evangelion said:
A young couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween ball. Then the wife came down with a headache but told her husband to go anyway and enjoy himself. He made a token protest, but she insisted and said she was going to take some paracetamol and go to bed. So off he went.
Later the wife awoke to find her headache gone, and as it was still early decided to go to the party. Because the husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun seeing what he got up to when she was not around.
On arrival she spotted him leaping around on the dance floor with every female he could find, stealing the odd kiss and copping the occasional feel.
So she sidled sexily up to him, persuaded him to leave his partner, and let him go as far as he wanted. Soon he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so they went outside and were soon shagging like mad. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what he would say when he got back.
When he came in she asked him how the party had gone. He said, "Oh, boring as hell. You know it's no fun without you." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "Not at all - soon as I got in I met Pete, Bill and a few others, and they were bored too so we went in the spare room and played cards all night. But I tell you what ... the bloke who borrowed my costume said he had a bloody great time!"
Heard that one before except the punch line, "your dad turned up and borrowed my costume, said he had a wow of a time"Later the wife awoke to find her headache gone, and as it was still early decided to go to the party. Because the husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun seeing what he got up to when she was not around.
On arrival she spotted him leaping around on the dance floor with every female he could find, stealing the odd kiss and copping the occasional feel.
So she sidled sexily up to him, persuaded him to leave his partner, and let him go as far as he wanted. Soon he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so they went outside and were soon shagging like mad. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what he would say when he got back.
When he came in she asked him how the party had gone. He said, "Oh, boring as hell. You know it's no fun without you." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "Not at all - soon as I got in I met Pete, Bill and a few others, and they were bored too so we went in the spare room and played cards all night. But I tell you what ... the bloke who borrowed my costume said he had a bloody great time!"
d...Walking round a supermarket, a young woman caught sight of someone stacking boxes of washing powder on the shelves. She recognised him as the young man who'd chatted her up in the pub the night before, taken her home and had his wicked way with her.
She strode angrily up to him. "You bloody liar!" she yelled, "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"
"No I didn't," he said. "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team!"
She strode angrily up to him. "You bloody liar!" she yelled, "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"
"No I didn't," he said. "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team!"
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff