Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
B17NNS said:
fkING bdS! I AM GOING TO FIND YOU! I can't believe this has happened to me just before Christmas! I've just got home to find all the windows wide open They've taken everything. It's all gone. I'm waiting for the police. The dirty rotten thieving bds. What kind of sick minded person would do that to another person? YOU ARE NOT HUMAN!
That was my advent calander and you had no right to open it and eat all of my chocolates!
Look on the bright side, at least you gained the opportunity for me to show you how to spell calendar...That was my advent calander and you had no right to open it and eat all of my chocolates!
Luke skywalker and Obi Wan had a hard day trianing and decided to have dinner in a Chinese restaurant.
The food arrived and Luke set to with gusto using chop sticks , the table was soon littered with food .
Obi Wan decided it was time to impart some ancient wisdom
"The fork Luke use the fork "
The food arrived and Luke set to with gusto using chop sticks , the table was soon littered with food .
Obi Wan decided it was time to impart some ancient wisdom
"The fork Luke use the fork "
derektrimblitz said:
cookmysock said:
northwest monkey said:
schmunk said:
BrabusMog said:
soad said:
Q: What do KFC and pussy have in common?
A: Both are finger licking good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
I've never really understood why people find this joke funny, as I would never intentionally lick my fingers after fingering my girlfriend???A: Both are finger licking good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
derektrimblitz said:
cookmysock said:
northwest monkey said:
schmunk said:
BrabusMog said:
soad said:
Q: What do KFC and pussy have in common?
A: Both are finger licking good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
I've never really understood why people find this joke funny, as I would never intentionally lick my fingers after fingering my girlfriend???A: Both are finger licking good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
Man walks into a bank and pulls out a sawn off shotgun from underneath his coat.
He says to the teller "This is a hold up, hand over the money"
The teller says "Your Irish arnt you?",
Man says "How did you know that",
Teller looking at the sawn off shot gun says "You've sawn the wrong end off".
He says to the teller "This is a hold up, hand over the money"
The teller says "Your Irish arnt you?",
Man says "How did you know that",
Teller looking at the sawn off shot gun says "You've sawn the wrong end off".
^^^ ^^^
Talking of Irishmen>
Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, "Suits £15.00 each, Shirts £3.00 each, Trousers £4.50 per pair".
Paddy said to his pal, "Mick look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot of those and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune. Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talking 'cause if they hear our accents, they might think we're thicko's from Ireland and try to screw us. I'll put on me best English accent."
"Roight y'are Paddy, I'll keep me mout shut, so I will. You do all da feckin business" said Mick.
They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice, "Hello my good man. I'll take 50 suits at £15.00 each, 100 shirts at £3..00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £4.50 each. And oy'll back up me truck ready to load 'em on, so I will."
The owner of the shop said quietly, "You're from Ireland, aren't you?"
"Well yes," said a surprised Paddy. "What gave it away?"
The owner replied, "This is a dry-cleaners!"
Talking of Irishmen>
Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, "Suits £15.00 each, Shirts £3.00 each, Trousers £4.50 per pair".
Paddy said to his pal, "Mick look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot of those and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune. Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talking 'cause if they hear our accents, they might think we're thicko's from Ireland and try to screw us. I'll put on me best English accent."
"Roight y'are Paddy, I'll keep me mout shut, so I will. You do all da feckin business" said Mick.
They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice, "Hello my good man. I'll take 50 suits at £15.00 each, 100 shirts at £3..00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £4.50 each. And oy'll back up me truck ready to load 'em on, so I will."
The owner of the shop said quietly, "You're from Ireland, aren't you?"
"Well yes," said a surprised Paddy. "What gave it away?"
The owner replied, "This is a dry-cleaners!"
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