Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[Caruso]

heppers75 said:

Difficulty rating: Hard

[cjb1]

good to see some jokes coming on here, rather than the constant drivel of dissecting previous efforts for accuracy.

[Hooli]

cjb1 said:

good to see some jokes coming on here, rather than the constant drivel of dissecting previous efforts for accuracy.

[Neonblau]

cjb1 said:

good to see some jokes coming on here, rather than the constant drivel of dissecting previous efforts for accuracy.

When you say drivel........

[Doc Toad]

cjb1 said:

good to see some jokes coming on here, rather than the constant drivel of dissecting previous efforts for accuracy.

Agreed - all the stuff about plastering rendered me speechless....

[schmunk]

Doc Toad said:

cjb1 said:

good to see some jokes coming on here, rather than the constant drivel of dissecting previous efforts for accuracy.

Agreed - all the stuff about plastering rendered me speechless....

I'm mortarfied.

Edited by schmunk on Thursday 4th December 14:19

[Doc Toad]

schmunk said:

Doc Toad said:

cjb1 said:

good to see some jokes coming on here, rather than the constant drivel of dissecting previous efforts for accuracy.

Agreed - all the stuff about plastering rendered me speechless....

I'm mortarfied.

Relax - float above it all

[schmunk]

It's a Gyp. Sums up the whole thread.

[Doc Toad]

schmunk said:

It's a Gyp. Sums up the whole thread.

Yeah, but you responded in under a minute, you must be watching it like a hawk....

[schmunk]

Doc Toad said:

schmunk said:

It's a Gyp. Sums up the whole thread.

Yeah, but you responded in under a minute, you must be watching it like a hawk....

Alright, alright, no need to lay it on with a trowel...

[Doc Toad]

schmunk said:

Alright, alright, no need to lay it on with a trowel...

If you don't like the plastering jokes just skim over them

[schmunk]

Doc Toad said:

If you don't like the plastering jokes just skim over them

I'm getting stucc on them.

[schmunk]

Something, something, something, Dab, something, something.

Change of topic: fish puns.

[OllieC]

The quality of puns is rendering this thread stale

[Doc Toad]

schmunk said:

Something, something, something, Dab, something, something.

Change of topic: fish puns.

Q. How many fish does it take to plaster a wall?
A. Depends how hard you throw them

[FredClogs]

There is no prejudice in plastering jokes, everyone is fair game, no matter what religion, colour or screed.

[Laurel Green]

Doc Toad said:

Q. How many fish does it take to plaster a wall?
A. Depends how hard you throw them

That'll be Wrasse'l and Dab.

[Doc Toad]

Too early for a Christmas joke...? Have one anyway

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

[McAndy]

It's anti-Christmas: I like it.

[FRA53R]

A man walks into a shop and ponders over the confectionery at the counter.
He says, "I'll have a Twirl and a Boost, please."
The shopkeeper gaily spins round, points and says, "Honey, you look fabulous today!"