Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
Monkeylegend said:
Vipers said:
"Mummy mummy why am I running around in circles?"
"Shut up, or I'll nail the other foot to the floor."
My Grandad told me this one and he was born in 1891."Shut up, or I'll nail the other foot to the floor."
. Come clean, it was your grandmother wasn't?, which reminds me..........."Mummy mummy can I play with Grandma"
"No, you dug her up yesterday"
Vipers said:
Monkeylegend said:
Vipers said:
"Mummy mummy why am I running around in circles?"
"Shut up, or I'll nail the other foot to the floor."
My Grandad told me this one and he was born in 1891."Shut up, or I'll nail the other foot to the floor."
. Come clean, it was your grandmother wasn't?, which reminds me..........."Mummy mummy can I play with Grandma"
"No, you dug her up yesterday"
The old jokes are the best, they still make me smile.
True story: Spike Milligan met up with one Hans someone or other at a dinner in the '60s. Each had been in fighting in Italy during World War 2.
Hans was a German infantryman and had been blazing away at Spike's lot with his rifle.
He signed a napkin for Spike, saying, "Sorry I missed you on the..." (whatever date it was).
One German with a sense of humour!
Hans was a German infantryman and had been blazing away at Spike's lot with his rifle.
He signed a napkin for Spike, saying, "Sorry I missed you on the..." (whatever date it was).
One German with a sense of humour!
Pixelpeep7r said:
RobinBanks said:
Bird puns?
Toucan play at that game.
Bobby? Bobby Brown? is that you?Toucan play at that game.
Do not let anyone moan about how you treated Whitney - as her husband it was your prerogative, you should do what you wanna do.
I remember reading on the internet a Facebook status which was something like "the death of Whitney has touched us all. I just saw a tramp in a supermarket car park crying and singing Whitney lyrics whilst drinking."
The reply read "that was probably Bobby Brown."
During a visit to the mental hospital, a visitor asked the
Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient
should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we
offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask
him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the
plug."
Do you want a room with or without a view?
Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient
should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we
offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask
him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the
plug."
Do you want a room with or without a view?
Samcat said:
During a visit to the mental hospital, a visitor asked the
Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient
should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we
offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask
him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the
plug."
Do you want a room with or without a view?
The same Director that checks which hand you wipe your bttom with I assume?Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient
should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we
offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask
him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the
plug."
Do you want a room with or without a view?
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