Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
shakotan said:
Nollub said:
"Daddy, what's a homosexual?"
"Shut up and keep sucking, son."
"Shut up and keep sucking, son."
Little girl says to her father, "Daddy can I go to the pictures?"
Father - "Yes darling, but it'll cost you a ****-***"
(a few minutes later)
Little Girl - "Ewww, daddy, your **** tastes of ****"
Father - "Yes I know, your brother wanted to go to the football."
I don't know how they think of them.
thats an incorrect version of..
Bloke wakes his missis up at 4am and says, darling, i want you to come fishing with me, if you refuse then its anal or a blow job.
She decides blow job.
URGH, that tastes rotten she exclaims
Yes, the bloke grinned, the dog didn't want to come with me either.
Bloke wakes his missis up at 4am and says, darling, i want you to come fishing with me, if you refuse then its anal or a blow job.
She decides blow job.
URGH, that tastes rotten she exclaims
Yes, the bloke grinned, the dog didn't want to come with me either.
I was driving to work this morning, in stop/start slow traffic.
I was momentarily distracted and rear ended the car in front, oh s
t I thought.
I got out, and saw the back of the car in front was really bent and twisted.
The other driver got out as well, I was gobsmacked to see he was a midget.
He walked to the back of his car and looked at the damage and said :-
"I'me not happy"
I said, "Which one are you then"
I was momentarily distracted and rear ended the car in front, oh s
t I thought.I got out, and saw the back of the car in front was really bent and twisted.
The other driver got out as well, I was gobsmacked to see he was a midget.
He walked to the back of his car and looked at the damage and said :-
"I'me not happy"
I said, "Which one are you then"
Back on January 9th, a group of bikers from Pekin, Illinois were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge .
So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....
whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!" While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that .... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me.
Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....
whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!" While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that .... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me.
Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
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