Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[Pixelpeep7r]

davhill said:

Perhaps one from the Baaa-chester Chronicles.

the steaks are too high now.

[VladD]

schmunk said:

Whoever started this off should be lambasted.




Edit: Balls and double balls, I've just noticed VladD's use of the same pun above.

I'm going to get slaughtered...

Edited by schmunk on Thursday 29th January 12:22

That's what happens if you don't read back and just post off the hoof.

Time to bring out the sheep-o-nine-tails and have him flocked to death.

[GBGaffer]

All the people posting on this thread are just trying to hogget

[Halmyre]

Don't know wedder or not to join in...

(given the meaning of 'wedder', I think I'll pass!)

[Laurel Green]

Halmyre said:

Don't know wedder or not to join in...

(given the meaning of 'wedder', I think I'll pass!)

Bah Hambug.

I'm not doing this right am I.

[FredClogs]

We need to pen these puns in, they're starting to give me the collie wobbles.

[schmunk]

Halmyre said:

Don't know wedder or not to join in...

(given the meaning of 'wedder', I think I'll pass!)

You've got some balls, posting that...

[soad]

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

[steveT350C]

Sorry if already posted, have not been here for a while...

[EarlOfHazard]

The Welsh have come up with a new use for sheep:

Wool.

[f1dget]

Dear All

Please flock off with all the sheep jokes.

Yours

A. Shepard,
Upperramsbottom.

[EarlOfHazard]

Stephen Hawking had his first date for 10 years last week. He came back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees; apparently, she stood him up!

[Laurel Green]

EarlOfHazard said:

Stephen Hawking had his first date for 10 years last week. He came back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees; apparently, she stood him up!

Genuine laughter here.

Sorry Stephen.

[Pixelpeep7r]

Laurel Green said:

EarlOfHazard said:

Stephen Hawking had his first date for 10 years last week. He came back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees; apparently, she stood him up!

Genuine laughter here.

Sorry Stephen.

thank god they didn't do a female voice for the speak and spell or he would have got quite excited.

[Norfolkit]

FredClogs said:

We need to pen these puns in, they're starting to give me the collie wobbles.

You must be one of the day boys, you're definitely not a Border

[Evangelion]

I am avoiding the temptation to join in with these animal puns, with dogged determination.

[havoc]

Halmyre said:

Don't know wedder or not to join in...

(given the meaning of 'wedder', I think I'll pass!)

I can't decide wether you meant to post that word or a different one...

[mybrainhurts]

Evangelion said:

I am avoiding the temptation to join in with these animal puns, with dogged determination.

I'll beaver away at them

[DeuxCentCinq]

mybrainhurts said:

I'll beaver away at them

Civet up.

[davhill]

I'm not sure I seal what you mean.