Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
soad said:
A woman turns to her husband, "You never take me anywhere expensive anymore!"
Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Err, sorry, don't get it Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Do you mean garage where you by petrol or garage where you park your car? Either way it's not very funny.....sorry.soad said:
A woman turns to her husband, "You never take me anywhere expensive anymore!"
Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Err, sorry, don't get it Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Do you mean garage where you by petrol or garage where you park your car? Either way it's not very funny.....sorry.Lordbenny said:
soad said:
A woman turns to her husband, "You never take me anywhere expensive anymore!"
Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Err, sorry, don't get it Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Do you mean garage where you by petrol or garage where you park your car? Either way it's not very funny.....sorry.Lordbenny said:
soad said:
A woman turns to her husband, "You never take me anywhere expensive anymore!"
Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Err, sorry, don't get it Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Do you mean garage where you by petrol or garage where you park your car? Either way it's not very funny.....sorry.Someone said:
An Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman are shipwrecked and land on an island full of cannibals
The cannibals take the three men to see their chief.
"You have trespassed on our sacred island, so you must be punished. First we will toss you into a cauldron of boiling water to soften up your skin. Then we will tie you to trees and leave you in the hot sun for a week to tan your skin. Then we will skin you alive and make your skin into canoes. After that, we will consume what's left of you."
The men obviously are very scared and beg the cannibals "We're so sorry, we didn't know. Can we at least have one last request?"
The cannibal chief agrees.
The Englishman man asks for a knife. The cannibal chief gives him a knife, and he immediately slits his throat and dies.
The Scotsman man asks for a gun. The cannibal chief gives the man an old revolver, and he puts it to his own head and fires.
The Irishman man asks for a fork. The cannibal chief gives him a strange look, but gives him a fork. The man immediately starts stabbing himself all over his body with the fork.
"What do you think you're doing?" yells the cannibal chief.
"f
k YOUR CANOE" he screams
The cannibals take the three men to see their chief.
"You have trespassed on our sacred island, so you must be punished. First we will toss you into a cauldron of boiling water to soften up your skin. Then we will tie you to trees and leave you in the hot sun for a week to tan your skin. Then we will skin you alive and make your skin into canoes. After that, we will consume what's left of you."
The men obviously are very scared and beg the cannibals "We're so sorry, we didn't know. Can we at least have one last request?"
The cannibal chief agrees.
The Englishman man asks for a knife. The cannibal chief gives him a knife, and he immediately slits his throat and dies.
The Scotsman man asks for a gun. The cannibal chief gives the man an old revolver, and he puts it to his own head and fires.
The Irishman man asks for a fork. The cannibal chief gives him a strange look, but gives him a fork. The man immediately starts stabbing himself all over his body with the fork.
"What do you think you're doing?" yells the cannibal chief.
"f
k YOUR CANOE" he screamsGrumpyTwig said:
Someone said:
An Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman are shipwrecked and land on an island full of cannibals
The cannibals take the three men to see their chief.
"You have trespassed on our sacred island, so you must be punished. First we will toss you into a cauldron of boiling water to soften up your skin. Then we will tie you to trees and leave you in the hot sun for a week to tan your skin. Then we will skin you alive and make your skin into canoes. After that, we will consume what's left of you."
The men obviously are very scared and beg the cannibals "We're so sorry, we didn't know. Can we at least have one last request?"
The cannibal chief agrees.
The Englishman man asks for a knife. The cannibal chief gives him a knife, and he immediately slits his throat and dies.
The Scotsman man asks for a gun. The cannibal chief gives the man an old revolver, and he puts it to his own head and fires.
The Irishman man asks for a fork. The cannibal chief gives him a strange look, but gives him a fork. The man immediately starts stabbing himself all over his body with the fork.
"What do you think you're doing?" yells the cannibal chief.
"fk YOUR CANOE" he screams
The cannibals take the three men to see their chief.
"You have trespassed on our sacred island, so you must be punished. First we will toss you into a cauldron of boiling water to soften up your skin. Then we will tie you to trees and leave you in the hot sun for a week to tan your skin. Then we will skin you alive and make your skin into canoes. After that, we will consume what's left of you."
The men obviously are very scared and beg the cannibals "We're so sorry, we didn't know. Can we at least have one last request?"
The cannibal chief agrees.
The Englishman man asks for a knife. The cannibal chief gives him a knife, and he immediately slits his throat and dies.
The Scotsman man asks for a gun. The cannibal chief gives the man an old revolver, and he puts it to his own head and fires.
The Irishman man asks for a fork. The cannibal chief gives him a strange look, but gives him a fork. The man immediately starts stabbing himself all over his body with the fork.
"What do you think you're doing?" yells the cannibal chief.
"f
k YOUR CANOE" he screams
northwest monkey said:
GrumpyTwig said:
Someone said:
An Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman are shipwrecked and land on an island full of cannibals
The cannibals take the three men to see their chief.
"You have trespassed on our sacred island, so you must be punished. First we will toss you into a cauldron of boiling water to soften up your skin. Then we will tie you to trees and leave you in the hot sun for a week to tan your skin. Then we will skin you alive and make your skin into canoes. After that, we will consume what's left of you."
The men obviously are very scared and beg the cannibals "We're so sorry, we didn't know. Can we at least have one last request?"
The cannibal chief agrees.
The Englishman man asks for a knife. The cannibal chief gives him a knife, and he immediately slits his throat and dies.
The Scotsman man asks for a gun. The cannibal chief gives the man an old revolver, and he puts it to his own head and fires.
The Irishman man asks for a fork. The cannibal chief gives him a strange look, but gives him a fork. The man immediately starts stabbing himself all over his body with the fork.
"What do you think you're doing?" yells the cannibal chief.
"fk YOUR CANOE" he screams
The cannibals take the three men to see their chief.
"You have trespassed on our sacred island, so you must be punished. First we will toss you into a cauldron of boiling water to soften up your skin. Then we will tie you to trees and leave you in the hot sun for a week to tan your skin. Then we will skin you alive and make your skin into canoes. After that, we will consume what's left of you."
The men obviously are very scared and beg the cannibals "We're so sorry, we didn't know. Can we at least have one last request?"
The cannibal chief agrees.
The Englishman man asks for a knife. The cannibal chief gives him a knife, and he immediately slits his throat and dies.
The Scotsman man asks for a gun. The cannibal chief gives the man an old revolver, and he puts it to his own head and fires.
The Irishman man asks for a fork. The cannibal chief gives him a strange look, but gives him a fork. The man immediately starts stabbing himself all over his body with the fork.
"What do you think you're doing?" yells the cannibal chief.
"f
k YOUR CANOE" he screams
mybrainhurts said:
northwest monkey said:
GrumpyTwig said:
Someone said:
An Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman are shipwrecked and land on an island full of cannibals
The cannibals take the three men to see their chief.
"You have trespassed on our sacred island, so you must be punished. First we will toss you into a cauldron of boiling water to soften up your skin. Then we will tie you to trees and leave you in the hot sun for a week to tan your skin. Then we will skin you alive and make your skin into canoes. After that, we will consume what's left of you."
The men obviously are very scared and beg the cannibals "We're so sorry, we didn't know. Can we at least have one last request?"
The cannibal chief agrees.
The Englishman man asks for a knife. The cannibal chief gives him a knife, and he immediately slits his throat and dies.
The Scotsman man asks for a gun. The cannibal chief gives the man an old revolver, and he puts it to his own head and fires.
The Irishman man asks for a fork. The cannibal chief gives him a strange look, but gives him a fork. The man immediately starts stabbing himself all over his body with the fork.
"What do you think you're doing?" yells the cannibal chief.
"fk YOUR CANOE" he screams
The cannibals take the three men to see their chief.
"You have trespassed on our sacred island, so you must be punished. First we will toss you into a cauldron of boiling water to soften up your skin. Then we will tie you to trees and leave you in the hot sun for a week to tan your skin. Then we will skin you alive and make your skin into canoes. After that, we will consume what's left of you."
The men obviously are very scared and beg the cannibals "We're so sorry, we didn't know. Can we at least have one last request?"
The cannibal chief agrees.
The Englishman man asks for a knife. The cannibal chief gives him a knife, and he immediately slits his throat and dies.
The Scotsman man asks for a gun. The cannibal chief gives the man an old revolver, and he puts it to his own head and fires.
The Irishman man asks for a fork. The cannibal chief gives him a strange look, but gives him a fork. The man immediately starts stabbing himself all over his body with the fork.
"What do you think you're doing?" yells the cannibal chief.
"f
k YOUR CANOE" he screamsStandard Internet Disclaimer - I'm not being racist, I know plenty of Welsh people. In fact, just to make sure I'm covering all bases, I know someone who is a Welsh, black, gay, disabled, deaf mute bald midget. We call him Lucky.
northwest monkey said:
Not too many years ago, a comment like that would have ended up with us waving pistols at each other in a field
Standard Internet Disclaimer - I'm not being racist, I know plenty of Welsh people. In fact, just to make sure I'm covering all bases, I know someone who is a Welsh, black, gay, disabled, deaf mute bald midget. We call him Lucky.
That's Gingerist!Standard Internet Disclaimer - I'm not being racist, I know plenty of Welsh people. In fact, just to make sure I'm covering all bases, I know someone who is a Welsh, black, gay, disabled, deaf mute bald midget. We call him Lucky.
LordGrover said:
northwest monkey said:
Not too many years ago, a comment like that would have ended up with us waving pistols at each other in a field
Standard Internet Disclaimer - I'm not being racist, I know plenty of Welsh people. In fact, just to make sure I'm covering all bases, I know someone who is a Welsh, black, gay, disabled, deaf mute bald midget. We call him Lucky.
That's Gingerist!Standard Internet Disclaimer - I'm not being racist, I know plenty of Welsh people. In fact, just to make sure I'm covering all bases, I know someone who is a Welsh, black, gay, disabled, deaf mute bald midget. We call him Lucky.
soad said:
A woman turns to her husband, "You never take me anywhere expensive anymore!"
Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Husband (walking towards the front door): I'm going to the pub, put your coat on.Her husband puts on his jacket and the wife excitedly asks, "Are you taking me somewhere expensive then?"
The husband replies, "Yes, get your coat, we're off to the garage!"
Wife: Am I going too?
Husband: No, I've turned the heating off.
LordGrover said:
northwest monkey said:
Not too many years ago, a comment like that would have ended up with us waving pistols at each other in a field
Standard Internet Disclaimer - I'm not being racist, I know plenty of Welsh people. In fact, just to make sure I'm covering all bases, I know someone who is a Welsh, black, gay, disabled, deaf mute bald midget. We call him Lucky.
That's Gingerist!Standard Internet Disclaimer - I'm not being racist, I know plenty of Welsh people. In fact, just to make sure I'm covering all bases, I know someone who is a Welsh, black, gay, disabled, deaf mute bald midget. We call him Lucky.
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