Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[northwest monkey]

Halmyre said:

Laurel Green said:

Erm, what's the plunger for...?

He'd seen a picture of a cat with a plunger on his head & thought it looked fun.

[Laurel Green]

Halmyre said:

Erm, what's the plunger for...?

Bears get constipation too!

[StevieBee]

Just booked a nice table for me and the missus for Valentine's Night and now she tells me she doesn't like snooker!

[K12beano]

^^^ They're just so difficult, aren't they?

I suggested a nice romantic night out.....


....but she's scuppered that by wanting to come with me....

[Six Fiend]

He really has faded to grey this time...

(RIP Steve Strange)

[Monkey boy 1]

Six Fiend said:

He really has faded to grey this time...

(RIP Steve Strange)

Yet again I hear it first on here

[cookmysock]

I'm working the morning shift in a cafe. A woman and her small child walk up to the counter.

"What will it be" I asked.

"I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN!" Shouts the child.

There's a sudden silence and everyone turns to look.

embarrassed the woman says "eggs... he would like some eggs"

[grumpy52]

So young Ali Rahman lands his flying carpet at the filling station does he use Threaded or Unthreaded ?

[GloverMart]

Sad news today that the inventor of Nutella passed away this morning.

It's his funeral next Wednesday, hope they put on a good spread for him.

[Muntu]

[MadOne]

Muntu said:

[Agoogy]

It's my party and I'll die if I want to ....?...no?

[StevieBee]

Agoogy said:

It's my party and I'll die if I want to ....?...no?

Sky News and the BBC need to get rid of their News Teams and just link their breaking news feeds to this thread. Much more instant!

[fatboy18]

Who's kicked the Bucket this time?

[karona]

http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-3150042...

[fatboy18]

karona said:

http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-3150042...

Anyone know where her Johnny has gone?

[Pixelpeep7r]

It's her hearty and it'll stop if it wants to, stop if it wants to....

Yours would stop too if if happened toooooo you.....

[EarlOfHazard]

Can’t believe it’s pancake day again already! That crêped up!

[VladD]

EarlOfHazard said:

Can’t believe it’s pancake day again already! That crêped up!

Flippin heck!!

[Adenauer]

Someone should batter him for that!