Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[LordGrover]

Grey Ghost said:

The only type of wood that doesn't float ?

Natalie Wood

Is it the 80s again already?

[ApOrbital]

My lizard was becoming very aggressive so I renamed him Boy George and now he's an altogether calmer chameleon.

[Scousefella]

ApOrbital said:

My lizard was becoming very aggressive so I renamed him Boy George and now he's an altogether calmer chameleon.

Listening to Radio 2 this afternoon?

[twing]

ApOrbital said:

My lizard was becoming very aggressive so I renamed him Boy George and now he's an altogether calmer chameleon.

My bird of prey was getting stroppy so I got him into music, he touring with Vulture Club

[Asterix]

I tried to make my racing snail faster by removing its shell - if anything, it's more sluggish.

[NoNeed]

My mate left work early one Friday, but instead of going home, he spent the weekend partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.
After 30 minutes of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days, huh?"
The husband couldn't believe his luck, he looked up, smiled and said, "That would suit me just fine! "
Monday went by, and the man didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling on his eyes went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye...

[Laurel Green]

NoNeed said:

Come Thursday, the swelling on his eyes went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye...

[Silver Smudger]

Which of these English cities shares its name with the Icelandic singer, and former member of the Sugarcubes?

a) Bradford
b) York
c) Leeds

Edited by Silver Smudger on Thursday 26th March 11:36

[davhill]

twing said:

My bird of prey was getting stroppy so I got him into music, he touring with Vulture Club

Is he now called Smiley Vulture?

[PoleDriver]

They are now having to rewrite Shakespeare in order to be more factual!

eg:-

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the car-park buried"

[soad]

Silver Smudger said:

Which of these English cities shares its name with the Icelandic singer, and former member of the Sugarcubes?

a) Bradford
b) York
c) Leeds

Björk

[shakotan]

Silver Smudger said:

Which of these English cities shares its name with the Icelandic singer, and former member of the Sugarcubes?

a) Bradford
b) York
c) Leeds

Phonetically, her name is pronounced Pyerrk, so...

[Vipers]

Where has the "Joke" thread gone.

[IanCress]

shakotan said:

Phonetically, her name is pronounced Pyerrk, so...

It's pretty much how they pronounce York in Hull anyway.

"Ermmm gernn ter Yerrk"

[Feirny]

IanCress said:

It's pretty much how they pronounce York in Hull anyway.

"Ermmm gernn ter Yerrk"

For a bottle of Diet Cerrrk.

[schmunk]

Feirny said:

IanCress said:

It's pretty much how they pronounce York in Hull anyway.

"Ermmm gernn ter Yerrk"

For a bottle of Diet Cerrrk.

Enough!

On with the Jerrrks, yerrr Jerrrks!

[FredClogs]

Feirny said:

IanCress said:

It's pretty much how they pronounce York in Hull anyway.

"Ermmm gernn ter Yerrk"

For a bottle of Diet Cerrrk.

She's from Iceland not Hull

[schmunk]

Bjork's home

[PoleDriver]

Vipers said:

Where has the "Joke" thread gone.

You're looking in the wrong place!

[soad]

FredClogs said:

She's from Iceland not Hull

schmunk said:

Bjork's home