Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[hacksaw]

Feirny said:

IanCress said:

It's pretty much how they pronounce York in Hull anyway.

"Ermmm gernn ter Yerrk"

For a bottle of Diet Cerrrk.

On the 'alf narn bus.

[Einion Yrth]

hacksaw said:

On the 'alf narn bus.

?

[mybrainhurts]

Silver Smudger said:

Which of these English cities shares its name with the Icelandic singer, and former member of the Sugarcubes?

a) Bradford
b) York
c) Leeds

Manchester

Thanks, what do I win?

[kowalski655]

Top Gear is 12 years old now,thats the oldest thing the BBC has fked for quite a while

[mybrainhurts]

[illmonkey]

WTF, PH have been tidying up a bit.

[Hooli]

illmonkey said:

WTF, PH have been tidying up a bit.

At least they haven't banned everyone who posts on the thread like they did on the 'things the missus said' thread.

[schmunk]

illmonkey said:

WTF, PH have been tidying up a bit.

Some of the jokes were a little, ahhh... racy, what?

[karona]

TANJOOBERRYMUTTS
By the time you read through this you will understand "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS". And only then will you be ready to take on China or Japan
Believe me... you WILL understand..!!! Here goes...
The following is a telephone conversation between a Hotel guest & room-service in China/Japan ...
Room Service: "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service."
Room Service: " Rye , Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?"
Guest: "Uh... Yes, I'd like to order bacon & eggs."
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"
Guest: " .......What??"
Room Service: "Ow ulai den..?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs.! How do I like them.? Sorry..
Scrambled, please."
Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken.? Creepse.?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: "Hokay. An sahn toes.?"
Guest: "What?"
Room Service: "An toes. ulai sahn toes?"
Guest: "I.... Don't think so.."
RoomService: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo
wan sahn toes' means."
RoomService: "Toes! Toes!... Why Uoo don wan toes.?...
Ow bow anglish moppin we botter.?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin..!!! I've got it.! You were saying
'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RoomService: "We botter.?"
Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."
RoomService: "Wad.?!?"
Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."
RoomService: "Copy?"
Guest: "Excuse me?"
RoomService: "Copy.. tea... meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."
RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken,
Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh & copy... Rye ??"
Guest: "Whatever you say."
RoomService: "Tanjooberrymutts."
Guest: "You're welcome"
Remember I did say "By the time you read through this... .. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS'
And you do now, don't you..!!!

[twing]

Chuckle....posted on FB

[Flat6er]

Knock knock.

Who's there.

The pilot.

[fatboy18]

Sad

[Laurel Green]

Someone posted that joke last evening. It was removed.

[northwest monkey]

Hooli said:

illmonkey said:

WTF, PH have been tidying up a bit.

At least they haven't banned everyone who posts on the thread like they did on the 'things the missus said' thread.

Or banned the whole thread - cringe...

[mybrainhurts]

Laurel Green said:

Someone posted that joke last evening. It was removed.

Blimey. Things have changed round here. Things still up a whole heap more iffy than that.

[StuntmanMike]

Flat6er said:

Knock knock.

Who's there.

The pilot.

You tt.

[Vipers]

Laurel Green said:

Someone posted that joke last evening. It was removed.

And so it should be.

[cookmysock]

why did Sally fall off the swing?
she had no arms.

knock knock
who's there?
not Sally

[GloverMart]

Sad that my old laundry drying rack has broken.

It's the end of an airer.

[mybrainhurts]

GloverMart said:

Sad that my old laundry drying rack has broken.

It's the end of an airer.

I've just got a high tech hearing aid...

For me, it's a whole new hearer.