Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
illmonkey said:
schmunk said:
illmonkey said:
rohrl said:
One day man hear knock at door. He asks "Who is?"
Reply comes "Is potato man. I here to give free potato."
Man is excite and rush to open door but is not potato man.
Is secret police.
Just no.Reply comes "Is potato man. I here to give free potato."
Man is excite and rush to open door but is not potato man.
Is secret police.
Is too sad?
t.twing said:
illmonkey said:
schmunk said:
illmonkey said:
rohrl said:
One day man hear knock at door. He asks "Who is?"
Reply comes "Is potato man. I here to give free potato."
Man is excite and rush to open door but is not potato man.
Is secret police.
Just no.Reply comes "Is potato man. I here to give free potato."
Man is excite and rush to open door but is not potato man.
Is secret police.
Is too sad?
t.Charley, a new retiree, now greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear".
"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder".
Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning late so often?"
The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "they usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir"?
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear".
"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder".
Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning late so often?"
The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "they usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir"?
Edited by Vipers on Wednesday 22 April 09:16
Edited by Vipers on Wednesday 22 April 09:16
Vipers said:
Charley, a new retiree, now greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear".
"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder".
Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning late so often?"
The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "they usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir"?
like that!One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear".
"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder".
Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning late so often?"
The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "they usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir"?
Edited by Vipers on Wednesday 22 April 09:16
Edited by Vipers on Wednesday 22 April 09:16
-How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it....
-They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
-This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
-A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
-I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
-I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
-I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
-I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
-I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
-When chemists die, apparently they barium.
-All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
-Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.
-I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
-I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
-Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? She lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.
-What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
-They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
-This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
-A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
-I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
-I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
-I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
-I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
-I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
-When chemists die, apparently they barium.
-All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
-Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.
-I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
-I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
-Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? She lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.
-What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
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