Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the drivers door.
"Is there a problem, Officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?"
"She's in the boot if you want to see."
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"
The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"
The man says, "Yes" and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying b
d told you I was speeding, too!"
"Is there a problem, Officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?"
"She's in the boot if you want to see."
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"
The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"
The man says, "Yes" and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying b
d told you I was speeding, too!"
SpeckledJim said:
kowalski655 said:
Walking means the cow saves enough energy to be able to do more than one cow
The experience of age
</dissecting kittens>
Err, I think the suggestion is that if the cows see the bulls running, they'll all run as well. If the bulls walk, they won't cause a ruckus.The experience of age
</dissecting kittens>
thainy77 said:
An old bull and a young bull standing on a hill staring at the cows beneath them.
The young bull turns to the old bull and says "why don't we run down there and fk one of those cows?"
The old bull replies "why don't we walk down there and fk them all".
Rich man have cow and potato.The young bull turns to the old bull and says "why don't we run down there and f
k one of those cows?"The old bull replies "why don't we walk down there and f
k them all".Man hide potato in cow mouth for keep safe.
Cow choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier come.
Man hide potato in own mouth for keep safe.
Man choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier rape cow, also man. Steal potato.
schmunk said:
thainy77 said:
An old bull and a young bull standing on a hill staring at the cows beneath them.
The young bull turns to the old bull and says "why don't we run down there and fk one of those cows?"
The old bull replies "why don't we walk down there and fk them all".
Rich man have cow and potato.The young bull turns to the old bull and says "why don't we run down there and f
k one of those cows?"The old bull replies "why don't we walk down there and f
k them all".Man hide potato in cow mouth for keep safe.
Cow choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier come.
Man hide potato in own mouth for keep safe.
Man choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier rape cow, also man. Steal potato.
illmonkey said:
schmunk said:
thainy77 said:
An old bull and a young bull standing on a hill staring at the cows beneath them.
The young bull turns to the old bull and says "why don't we run down there and fk one of those cows?"
The old bull replies "why don't we walk down there and fk them all".
Rich man have cow and potato.The young bull turns to the old bull and says "why don't we run down there and f
k one of those cows?"The old bull replies "why don't we walk down there and f
k them all".Man hide potato in cow mouth for keep safe.
Cow choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier come.
Man hide potato in own mouth for keep safe.
Man choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier rape cow, also man. Steal potato.
Rich man have cow and potato.
Man hide potato in cow mouth for keep safe.
Cow choke on potato and die. Is sad.
Soldier come.
Man hide potato in own mouth for keep safe.
Man choke on potato and die. Is sad.
Soldier rape cow, also man. Steal potato.
All better.
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