Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
schmunk said:
Rich man have cow and potato.
Man hide potato in cow mouth for keep safe.
Cow choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier come.
Man hide potato in own mouth for keep safe.
Man choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier rape cow, also man. Steal potato.
The kind of joke Jeremy Clarkson would have used whilst talking about, ooooh, let's say, soldiers in Serbia? Man hide potato in cow mouth for keep safe.
Cow choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier come.
Man hide potato in own mouth for keep safe.
Man choke on potato and dead. Is sad.
Soldier rape cow, also man. Steal potato.
ThunderSpook said:
K12beano said:
Weight loss diary: 30th April - zero calories
Weight loss diary: 1st May - zero calories
Weight loss diary: 2nd May - zero calories
.....
Weight loss diary: 1st May - zero calories
Weight loss diary: 2nd May - zero calories
.....
Watch:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/29/17/video...
Errrrr....
Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First Minister’s chauffeur driven car.
Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving."
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
"You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, ”I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.”
The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
"My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap - up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola.
"I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving."
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
"You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, ”I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.”
The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
"My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap - up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola.
"I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
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