Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
Shuvi McTupya said:
silverfoxcc said:
i like the idea of the picture 
Are they sports people? I honestly don't know who any of them are or what is funny, but I am sure that is just me..I know bugger all about football but they're famous enough to just recognise
RobinBanks said:
Phil and Gary Neville (both played football for Manchester United) and their deceased father Neville Neville
I know bugger all about football but they're famous enough to just recognise
Okay, so I didn't know who they were either, but I understand now.I know bugger all about football but they're famous enough to just recognise
But as Neville Neville has just died, why is that photo on a joke thread ? I'm missing the joke ...
evil len said:
Okay, so I didn't know who they were either, but I understand now.
But as Neville Neville has just died, why is that photo on a joke thread ? I'm missing the joke ...
I'm not entirely sure, to be honets I just recognised Phil Neville from seeing him on TV or in a paper or something years ago and I guessed that the other was Gary and I remembered that their father was called Neville Neville But as Neville Neville has just died, why is that photo on a joke thread ? I'm missing the joke ...
fatboy18 said:
Du1point8 said:
Probably an old one, but made me chuckle today...
"The bond's Name. James Name."
Pleased to... What?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance."
Don't understand that at all "The bond's Name. James Name."
Pleased to... What?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance."
Something to do with having a stroke,which I'm sure is hilarious.
Question:
How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer,
an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?
Answer: Pose the following question:
You're on duty by yourself walking down a deserted street.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you. What do you do?
British Officers Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
There is the Human Rights Act to consider!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Am I dressed provocatively?
Could I run away?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?
If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .
If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?
Australian Officers Answer:
Bang!
American Officers Answer:
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Sergeant at scene later: 'Nice grouping!
How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer,
an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?
Answer: Pose the following question:
You're on duty by yourself walking down a deserted street.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you. What do you do?
British Officers Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
There is the Human Rights Act to consider!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Am I dressed provocatively?
Could I run away?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?
If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .
If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?
Australian Officers Answer:
Bang!
American Officers Answer:
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Sergeant at scene later: 'Nice grouping!
RobinBanks said:
evil len said:
Okay, so I didn't know who they were either, but I understand now.
But as Neville Neville has just died, why is that photo on a joke thread ? I'm missing the joke ...
I'm not entirely sure, to be honets I just recognised Phil Neville from seeing him on TV or in a paper or something years ago and I guessed that the other was Gary and I remembered that their father was called Neville Neville But as Neville Neville has just died, why is that photo on a joke thread ? I'm missing the joke ...
king tickers on top of it"
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