Never thought this would happen to me...
Discussion
Sym7 said:
I posted this almost 10 years ago but still feels like it was only a few months back. After my wife left me, I met someone else about 5 months later. We’re going to celebrate 10 years together this September. My oldest child was 8 when my wife left me, she’s now a young lady at 18 and shortly heading off to university. My boys are doing well too. So proud of all three of them.
As for my ex-wife; as predicted by so may, she was indeed having an affair and that was the reason for her leaving me. It turned out it was with my kids’ sports teacher. Lasted 2 years and he left her. A few weeks later, she got with someone else (moved him in straight away), lasted 4 years and then he left her. She then started dating someone else but he turned out to be a rather dodgy individual. She’s now living alone.
Just as covid struck, I tried to formalise our long-standing financial arrangements in the form of a court order so that my girlfriend and I could buy a house together. My ex-wife decided that she didn’t want to make it so easy and came after me for more money. £35K solicitors costs, 1 1/2 years of stress and a £60K out of court settlement and £1,650/month child support later….and now I’m free of her. This is despite having paid £1,500 a month anyway since our separation, 63% of family home equity to her (My equity went on keeping the kids in school….so I was left with nothing) and a further £188K private school fees until they were able to go to secondary school….and she still didn’t think she had taken enough from me.
Anyway, 10 years later…..so pleased to have my ex-wife in my rear view mirror and no more financial handcuffs. Looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my girlfriend (Hopefully, become my wife soon) and continuing a great relationship with my children. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years!
I re-read some of my early posts on this thread and some of the replies. I cringe when I read some of the things I wrote. So naive. If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would 100% advise to engage a solicitor and get the financials locked down immediately in a court order.
Reading just this post paints a picture to me that your wife:As for my ex-wife; as predicted by so may, she was indeed having an affair and that was the reason for her leaving me. It turned out it was with my kids’ sports teacher. Lasted 2 years and he left her. A few weeks later, she got with someone else (moved him in straight away), lasted 4 years and then he left her. She then started dating someone else but he turned out to be a rather dodgy individual. She’s now living alone.
Just as covid struck, I tried to formalise our long-standing financial arrangements in the form of a court order so that my girlfriend and I could buy a house together. My ex-wife decided that she didn’t want to make it so easy and came after me for more money. £35K solicitors costs, 1 1/2 years of stress and a £60K out of court settlement and £1,650/month child support later….and now I’m free of her. This is despite having paid £1,500 a month anyway since our separation, 63% of family home equity to her (My equity went on keeping the kids in school….so I was left with nothing) and a further £188K private school fees until they were able to go to secondary school….and she still didn’t think she had taken enough from me.
Anyway, 10 years later…..so pleased to have my ex-wife in my rear view mirror and no more financial handcuffs. Looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my girlfriend (Hopefully, become my wife soon) and continuing a great relationship with my children. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years!
I re-read some of my early posts on this thread and some of the replies. I cringe when I read some of the things I wrote. So naive. If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would 100% advise to engage a solicitor and get the financials locked down immediately in a court order.
Was probabaly a proper stunner
used to having her own way
never really had a career (obviously raising kids)
has now had a few failed relationships each getting worse by the looks of it
Will now spend her life with cats.
Wrong or a stereo type?
vulture1 said:
Sym7 said:
I posted this almost 10 years ago but still feels like it was only a few months back. After my wife left me, I met someone else about 5 months later. We’re going to celebrate 10 years together this September. My oldest child was 8 when my wife left me, she’s now a young lady at 18 and shortly heading off to university. My boys are doing well too. So proud of all three of them.
As for my ex-wife; as predicted by so may, she was indeed having an affair and that was the reason for her leaving me. It turned out it was with my kids’ sports teacher. Lasted 2 years and he left her. A few weeks later, she got with someone else (moved him in straight away), lasted 4 years and then he left her. She then started dating someone else but he turned out to be a rather dodgy individual. She’s now living alone.
Just as covid struck, I tried to formalise our long-standing financial arrangements in the form of a court order so that my girlfriend and I could buy a house together. My ex-wife decided that she didn’t want to make it so easy and came after me for more money. £35K solicitors costs, 1 1/2 years of stress and a £60K out of court settlement and £1,650/month child support later….and now I’m free of her. This is despite having paid £1,500 a month anyway since our separation, 63% of family home equity to her (My equity went on keeping the kids in school….so I was left with nothing) and a further £188K private school fees until they were able to go to secondary school….and she still didn’t think she had taken enough from me.
Anyway, 10 years later…..so pleased to have my ex-wife in my rear view mirror and no more financial handcuffs. Looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my girlfriend (Hopefully, become my wife soon) and continuing a great relationship with my children. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years!
I re-read some of my early posts on this thread and some of the replies. I cringe when I read some of the things I wrote. So naive. If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would 100% advise to engage a solicitor and get the financials locked down immediately in a court order.
Reading just this post paints a picture to me that your wife:As for my ex-wife; as predicted by so may, she was indeed having an affair and that was the reason for her leaving me. It turned out it was with my kids’ sports teacher. Lasted 2 years and he left her. A few weeks later, she got with someone else (moved him in straight away), lasted 4 years and then he left her. She then started dating someone else but he turned out to be a rather dodgy individual. She’s now living alone.
Just as covid struck, I tried to formalise our long-standing financial arrangements in the form of a court order so that my girlfriend and I could buy a house together. My ex-wife decided that she didn’t want to make it so easy and came after me for more money. £35K solicitors costs, 1 1/2 years of stress and a £60K out of court settlement and £1,650/month child support later….and now I’m free of her. This is despite having paid £1,500 a month anyway since our separation, 63% of family home equity to her (My equity went on keeping the kids in school….so I was left with nothing) and a further £188K private school fees until they were able to go to secondary school….and she still didn’t think she had taken enough from me.
Anyway, 10 years later…..so pleased to have my ex-wife in my rear view mirror and no more financial handcuffs. Looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my girlfriend (Hopefully, become my wife soon) and continuing a great relationship with my children. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years!
I re-read some of my early posts on this thread and some of the replies. I cringe when I read some of the things I wrote. So naive. If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would 100% advise to engage a solicitor and get the financials locked down immediately in a court order.
Was probabaly a proper stunner
used to having her own way
never really had a career (obviously raising kids)
has now had a few failed relationships each getting worse by the looks of it
Will now spend her life with cats.
Wrong or a stereo type?
Sym7 said:
All except point #1
Ouch. If it's any consolation, a friend of mine gets the cold shoulder treatment for a whole month if he does anything hobby related and misses picking up the kids. She's a stay at home mum too and far from being a stunner! Can you share what things you wrote specifically that made you cringe? Just wanted to see what these were now that you have your ex far far out of sight.
Out of the tunnel.
Life is bright.
Its just a f cking nightmare going through it.
You'll look at your ex one day, and think
"What the flying f ck did I see in her ? "
13 years on, I haven't seen my ex wife, and my daughter is 27, and I've not seen her since she was 14.
That's how poisonous my ex wife is.
Good news about your kids mate.
Positive vibes to you.
Life is bright.
Its just a f cking nightmare going through it.
You'll look at your ex one day, and think
"What the flying f ck did I see in her ? "
13 years on, I haven't seen my ex wife, and my daughter is 27, and I've not seen her since she was 14.
That's how poisonous my ex wife is.
Good news about your kids mate.
Positive vibes to you.
stuttgartmetal said:
Out of the tunnel.
Life is bright.
Its just a f cking nightmare going through it.
You'll look at your ex one day, and think
"What the flying f ck did I see in her ? "
13 years on, I haven't seen my ex wife, and my daughter is 27, and I've not seen her since she was 14.
That's how poisonous my ex wife is.
Good news about your kids mate.
Positive vibes to you.
I've seen you sum things up on many of these threads (including my own back in May 2016) but never actually read your own back story.Life is bright.
Its just a f cking nightmare going through it.
You'll look at your ex one day, and think
"What the flying f ck did I see in her ? "
13 years on, I haven't seen my ex wife, and my daughter is 27, and I've not seen her since she was 14.
That's how poisonous my ex wife is.
Good news about your kids mate.
Positive vibes to you.
Sorry to hear about your daughter, but otherwise what a great recovery.
Same with the OP and it's great to get an update on these stories some time later.
My own situation is similar although I still have day to day contact with my ex (on amicable co-operative terms) because I am still co-parenting with her. I don't look back nor feel bitter about anything, if anything I want to buy the affair partner guy a beer and thank him gratefully for wading into my life and setting me up for early release. It just didn't seem like that at the time.
Pommy said:
Not sure how relevant this is but just paid my last maintenance payment after 14 years.
I feel like Andy DuFresne after he crawls through 500 yards of s
t to escape Shawhank and holds his arms to the sky for freedom.
Not sure my ex has worked out thats the last payment though
I bet that feels very sweet, I also bet she will message you the day after it is due asking where it is!I feel like Andy DuFresne after he crawls through 500 yards of s
t to escape Shawhank and holds his arms to the sky for freedom.Not sure my ex has worked out thats the last payment though
Joey Deacon said:
Pommy said:
Not sure how relevant this is but just paid my last maintenance payment after 14 years.
I feel like Andy DuFresne after he crawls through 500 yards of st to escape Shawhank and holds his arms to the sky for freedom.
Not sure my ex has worked out thats the last payment though
I bet that feels very sweet, I also bet she will message you the day after it is due asking where it is!I feel like Andy DuFresne after he crawls through 500 yards of s
t to escape Shawhank and holds his arms to the sky for freedom.Not sure my ex has worked out thats the last payment though
I still plan on giving money to my son but at least it will feel I'm giving it to him, not her wrapped up in the bulls
t veneer of it being for himbad company said:
I stumbled onto this thread and read it with interest. I went through a very similar situation as the op and some others on the thread albeit some years ago.
I wonder if this thread could be pinned to help others facing similar situations?
Pinning it to a thread about marriage plans might be more helpful in the long run I wonder if this thread could be pinned to help others facing similar situations?
stuttgartmetal said:
Out of the tunnel.
Life is bright.
Its just a f cking nightmare going through it.
You'll look at your ex one day, and think
"What the flying f ck did I see in her ? "
13 years on, I haven't seen my ex wife, and my daughter is 27, and I've not seen her since she was 14.
That's how poisonous my ex wife is.
Good news about your kids mate.
Positive vibes to you.
I suspect slapping your daughter and having her convinced that you were going to murder both her and her Mum may have something to do with that also. Life is bright.
Its just a f cking nightmare going through it.
You'll look at your ex one day, and think
"What the flying f ck did I see in her ? "
13 years on, I haven't seen my ex wife, and my daughter is 27, and I've not seen her since she was 14.
That's how poisonous my ex wife is.
Good news about your kids mate.
Positive vibes to you.
OP - Good to hear things are on the up for you.
singlecoil said:
bad company said:
I stumbled onto this thread and read it with interest. I went through a very similar situation as the op and some others on the thread albeit some years ago.
I wonder if this thread could be pinned to help others facing similar situations?
Pinning it to a thread about marriage plans might be more helpful in the long run I wonder if this thread could be pinned to help others facing similar situations?
Sym7 said:
I posted this almost 10 years ago but still feels like it was only a few months back. After my wife left me, I met someone else about 5 months later. We’re going to celebrate 10 years together this September. My oldest child was 8 when my wife left me, she’s now a young lady at 18 and shortly heading off to university. My boys are doing well too. So proud of all three of them.
As for my ex-wife; as predicted by so may, she was indeed having an affair and that was the reason for her leaving me. It turned out it was with my kids’ sports teacher. Lasted 2 years and he left her. A few weeks later, she got with someone else (moved him in straight away), lasted 4 years and then he left her. She then started dating someone else but he turned out to be a rather dodgy individual. She’s now living alone.
Just as covid struck, I tried to formalise our long-standing financial arrangements in the form of a court order so that my girlfriend and I could buy a house together. My ex-wife decided that she didn’t want to make it so easy and came after me for more money. £35K solicitors costs, 1 1/2 years of stress and a £60K out of court settlement and £1,650/month child support later….and now I’m free of her. This is despite having paid £1,500 a month anyway since our separation, 63% of family home equity to her (My equity went on keeping the kids in school….so I was left with nothing) and a further £188K private school fees until they were able to go to secondary school….and she still didn’t think she had taken enough from me.
Anyway, 10 years later…..so pleased to have my ex-wife in my rear view mirror and no more financial handcuffs. Looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my girlfriend (Hopefully, become my wife soon) and continuing a great relationship with my children. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years!
I re-read some of my early posts on this thread and some of the replies. I cringe when I read some of the things I wrote. So naive. If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would 100% advise to engage a solicitor and get the financials locked down immediately in a court order.
Look forward to your update post in 10 years time saying the same. As for my ex-wife; as predicted by so may, she was indeed having an affair and that was the reason for her leaving me. It turned out it was with my kids’ sports teacher. Lasted 2 years and he left her. A few weeks later, she got with someone else (moved him in straight away), lasted 4 years and then he left her. She then started dating someone else but he turned out to be a rather dodgy individual. She’s now living alone.
Just as covid struck, I tried to formalise our long-standing financial arrangements in the form of a court order so that my girlfriend and I could buy a house together. My ex-wife decided that she didn’t want to make it so easy and came after me for more money. £35K solicitors costs, 1 1/2 years of stress and a £60K out of court settlement and £1,650/month child support later….and now I’m free of her. This is despite having paid £1,500 a month anyway since our separation, 63% of family home equity to her (My equity went on keeping the kids in school….so I was left with nothing) and a further £188K private school fees until they were able to go to secondary school….and she still didn’t think she had taken enough from me.
Anyway, 10 years later…..so pleased to have my ex-wife in my rear view mirror and no more financial handcuffs. Looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my girlfriend (Hopefully, become my wife soon) and continuing a great relationship with my children. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years!
I re-read some of my early posts on this thread and some of the replies. I cringe when I read some of the things I wrote. So naive. If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would 100% advise to engage a solicitor and get the financials locked down immediately in a court order.
Getting married again after all that money lost, meeting a women 5 months after leaving your wife. Sounds like you’re just needy to be with someone. Fool me once…
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