Never thought this would happen to me...

[bad company]

Seventyseven7 said:

Look forward to your update post in 10 years time saying the same.
Getting married again after all that money lost, meeting a women 5 months after leaving your wife. Sounds like you’re just needy to be with someone. Fool me once…

I met Mrs BC about 2 years after splitting with my ex wife. We’ve been together over 30 years now but never married. I really don’t see the point.

[BenS94]

Sycamore said:

stuttgartmetal said:

Out of the tunnel.
Life is bright.

Its just a f cking nightmare going through it.

You'll look at your ex one day, and think
"What the flying f ck did I see in her ? "

13 years on, I haven't seen my ex wife, and my daughter is 27, and I've not seen her since she was 14.
That's how poisonous my ex wife is.
Good news about your kids mate.
Positive vibes to you.

I suspect slapping your daughter and having her convinced that you were going to murder both her and her Mum may have something to do with that also.

OP - Good to hear things are on the up for you.

Ooh dear. Shots fired. Thats a little savage.

[theboss]

Seventyseven7 said:

Look forward to your update post in 10 years time saying the same.
Getting married again after all that money lost, meeting a women 5 months after leaving your wife. Sounds like you’re just needy to be with someone. Fool me once…

That says a lot more about you than the OP. You sound absolutely gleeful at the prospect of his new marriage breaking down.

[Pommy]

theboss said:

Seventyseven7 said:

Look forward to your update post in 10 years time saying the same.
Getting married again after all that money lost, meeting a women 5 months after leaving your wife. Sounds like you’re just needy to be with someone. Fool me once…

That says a lot more about you than the OP. You sound absolutely gleeful at the prospect of his new marriage breaking down.

Indeed.

I was with my ex 13 yrs, started with my current wife 3 months after the last ended and here I am over 14 years still with her happier than ever.

Marriage isn't the issue, it's who you marry.

[singlecoil]

theboss said:

Seventyseven7 said:

Look forward to your update post in 10 years time saying the same.
Getting married again after all that money lost, meeting a women 5 months after leaving your wife. Sounds like you’re just needy to be with someone. Fool me once…

That says a lot more about you than the OP. You sound absolutely gleeful at the prospect of his new marriage breaking down.

I don't read it that way at all, and am frankly baffled at your response.

[Hugo Stiglitz]

GilletteFan said:

Sym7 said:

All except point #1

Ouch. If it's any consolation, a friend of mine gets the cold shoulder treatment for a whole month if he does anything hobby related and misses picking up the kids. She's a stay at home mum too and far from being a stunner!

Can you share what things you wrote specifically that made you cringe? Just wanted to see what these were now that you have your ex far far out of sight.

Sounds familiar. I know a couple of guys that are firmly the drive everyone round, child interactor and provider and if they try to meet up with mates beyond once every 6 months it's pain.

I've experienced one receiving multiple calls and texts saying 'timmy has tummy ache, there's a sudden leak from a tap' etc then seeing his manner drop/change and him cutting short.

No doubt fast forward a decade and they'll split. Yes I'm bitter as its a loss of friendship during those years!

[theboss]

singlecoil said:

theboss said:

Seventyseven7 said:

Look forward to your update post in 10 years time saying the same.
Getting married again after all that money lost, meeting a women 5 months after leaving your wife. Sounds like you’re just needy to be with someone. Fool me once…

That says a lot more about you than the OP. You sound absolutely gleeful at the prospect of his new marriage breaking down.

I don't read it that way at all, and am frankly baffled at your response.

If it was written in jest and went over my head, I apologise, but calling somebody needy for re-marrying after a bad divorce is a bit cynical and may strike a nerve amongst those who did something similar

[Seventyseven7]

theboss said:

Seventyseven7 said:

Look forward to your update post in 10 years time saying the same.
Getting married again after all that money lost, meeting a women 5 months after leaving your wife. Sounds like you’re just needy to be with someone. Fool me once…

That says a lot more about you than the OP. You sound absolutely gleeful at the prospect of his new marriage breaking down.

Can assure you I'm not. Maybe I am not the best at articulating things, but I hope it works out well for OP. But there is a lot of alarm bells.

OP painted a picture of going through an awful time with his wife who 'was the one' and is now about to marry someone he met just a couple of months after spending a lifetime with the previous one. I find it crazy to be with someone you want to spend your entire life with, split up then find someone you want to spend your entire life with a few months later. Even more crazy to go through all that financial lose and stress due to marriage, to want to get married again. Just be together, less pressure on yourself

[WY86]

Seventyseven7 said:

Can assure you I'm not. Maybe I am not the best at articulating things, but I hope it works out well for OP. But there is a lot of alarm bells.

OP painted a picture of going through an awful time with his wife who 'was the one' and is now about to marry someone he met just a couple of months after spending a lifetime with the previous one. I find it crazy to be with someone you want to spend your entire life with, split up then find someone you want to spend your entire life with a few months later. Even more crazy to go through all that financial lose and stress due to marriage, to want to get married again. Just be together, less pressure on yourself

Have to agree, you need time after a break up to work out what you want/who you are. moving on so fast and already looking at potential marriage already is a little alarming. Slow it all down and enjoy life, if she is the one she would understand some one being a little hesitant to jump straight back into marriage.

[bad company]

WY86 said:

Have to agree, you need time after a break up to work out what you want/who you are. moving on so fast and already looking at potential marriage already is a little alarming. Slow it all down and enjoy life, if she is the one she would understand some one being a little hesitant to jump straight back into marriage.

Would someone please explain the point of marriage? I divorced many years ago and Mrs BC and I have been happily unmarried for well over 30 years now. I really don’t see any reason to marry.

[WY86]

bad company said:

Would someone please explain the point of marriage? I divorced many years ago and Mrs BC and I have been happily unmarried for well over 30 years now. I really don’t see any reason to marry.

Well it is the quickest way to reduce assets and wealth. Unless your religious it has very little meaning or point. though women who have grown up with Disney movies and Rom Coms that have an unrealistic expectation of life seem very keen on the idea... well until the day after and they realize life goes back to normal.

[BoRED S2upid]

Sym7 said:

I posted this almost 10 years ago but still feels like it was only a few months back. After my wife left me, I met someone else about 5 months later. We’re going to celebrate 10 years together this September. My oldest child was 8 when my wife left me, she’s now a young lady at 18 and shortly heading off to university. My boys are doing well too. So proud of all three of them.

As for my ex-wife; as predicted by so may, she was indeed having an affair and that was the reason for her leaving me. It turned out it was with my kids’ sports teacher. Lasted 2 years and he left her. A few weeks later, she got with someone else (moved him in straight away), lasted 4 years and then he left her. She then started dating someone else but he turned out to be a rather dodgy individual. She’s now living alone.

Just as covid struck, I tried to formalise our long-standing financial arrangements in the form of a court order so that my girlfriend and I could buy a house together. My ex-wife decided that she didn’t want to make it so easy and came after me for more money. £35K solicitors costs, 1 1/2 years of stress and a £60K out of court settlement and £1,650/month child support later….and now I’m free of her. This is despite having paid £1,500 a month anyway since our separation, 63% of family home equity to her (My equity went on keeping the kids in school….so I was left with nothing) and a further £188K private school fees until they were able to go to secondary school….and she still didn’t think she had taken enough from me.

Anyway, 10 years later…..so pleased to have my ex-wife in my rear view mirror and no more financial handcuffs. Looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my girlfriend (Hopefully, become my wife soon) and continuing a great relationship with my children. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years!

I re-read some of my early posts on this thread and some of the replies. I cringe when I read some of the things I wrote. So naive. If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would 100% advise to engage a solicitor and get the financials locked down immediately in a court order.

Good grief this must go down as one of the most expensive settlements in PH history. £1650 per month AND £188k private school fees. Holy f@@k!!!

[anonymous-user]

WY86 said:

Well it is the quickest way to reduce assets and wealth. Unless your religious it has very little meaning or point. though women who have grown up with Disney movies and Rom Coms that have an unrealistic expectation of life seem very keen on the idea... well until the day after and they realize life goes back to normal.

Totally agree, the other thing is since birth we have been socially programmed to believe that you get married, few people ever think about this and question it, they just go along with it.

The one that always makes me laugh is the ones who are not religious at all, yet go to church for a few weeks in the brides home town so they can get married in the local church. I have never understood this one, as you say they want the princess day.

The only possible plus point I can think of is for inheritance tax reasons. In my opinion it is a sword of Damocles hanging over your head.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

bad company said:

WY86 said:

Have to agree, you need time after a break up to work out what you want/who you are. moving on so fast and already looking at potential marriage already is a little alarming. Slow it all down and enjoy life, if she is the one she would understand some one being a little hesitant to jump straight back into marriage.

Would someone please explain the point of marriage? I divorced many years ago and Mrs BC and I have been happily unmarried for well over 30 years now. I really don’t see any reason to marry.

Inheritance tax avoidance, spousal pension benefits, next of kin benefits re medical situations, and others.

You may have been happily unmarried for 30 years, but if she finds herself unconscious in hospital, don't complain when her sister that she hasn't seen for 40 years rocks up, tells the staff not to let you in, and takes over the decisions. She's the sister, and legally you're a complete nobody.

[theboss]

I accelerated re-marriage because my wife and I met as foreigners and whether she wanted to live here with me in the UK, I wanted to live in her country, or we wanted to live together in any third country, it's far easier to do so as a married couple, just about anywhere in the world. It conveys a legal status.

I also think it shows a long-term binding commitment which is conducive to the establishment of a family unit. I'm not judgemental in the slightest about anyone who doesn't agree, but I think a lot of people do agree because just about everyone I know with children has married whether first time lucky or re-married. Call me traditional.

[BoRED S2upid]

WY86 said:

Well it is the quickest way to reduce assets and wealth. Unless your religious it has very little meaning or point. though women who have grown up with Disney movies and Rom Coms that have an unrealistic expectation of life seem very keen on the idea... well until the day after and they realize life goes back to normal.

Married or unmarried if you cohabit and have kids and then separate you will still be reducing your assets and wealth a certificate will make very little difference.

[singlecoil]

BoRED S2upid said:

WY86 said:

Well it is the quickest way to reduce assets and wealth. Unless your religious it has very little meaning or point. though women who have grown up with Disney movies and Rom Coms that have an unrealistic expectation of life seem very keen on the idea... well until the day after and they realize life goes back to normal.

Married or unmarried if you cohabit and have kids and then separate you will still be reducing your assets and wealth a certificate will make very little difference.

And if you cohabit and have sex you will definitely be having children whether you want them or not.

[Shnozz]

WY86 said:

Seventyseven7 said:

Can assure you I'm not. Maybe I am not the best at articulating things, but I hope it works out well for OP. But there is a lot of alarm bells.

OP painted a picture of going through an awful time with his wife who 'was the one' and is now about to marry someone he met just a couple of months after spending a lifetime with the previous one. I find it crazy to be with someone you want to spend your entire life with, split up then find someone you want to spend your entire life with a few months later. Even more crazy to go through all that financial lose and stress due to marriage, to want to get married again. Just be together, less pressure on yourself

Have to agree, you need time after a break up to work out what you want/who you are. moving on so fast and already looking at potential marriage already is a little alarming. Slow it all down and enjoy life, if she is the one she would understand some one being a little hesitant to jump straight back into marriage.

Add me to that list that find it somewhat baffling, but fair play to the rebounds that have worked out. Wouldn't be for me.

[WY86]

Shnozz said:

Add me to that list that find it somewhat baffling, but fair play to the rebounds that have worked out. Wouldn't be for me.

The issue with rebounds whilst going through divorce is often times you overshare which will eventually lead to the new Mrs throwing out the: you did X for your last ex why not for me…

[stuttgartmetal]

Sycamore said:

stuttgartmetal said:

Out of the tunnel.
Life is bright.

Its just a f cking nightmare going through it.

You'll look at your ex one day, and think
"What the flying f ck did I see in her ? "

13 years on, I haven't seen my ex wife, and my daughter is 27, and I've not seen her since she was 14.
That's how poisonous my ex wife is.
Good news about your kids mate.
Positive vibes to you.

I suspect slapping your daughter and having her convinced that you were going to murder both her and her Mum may have something to do with that also.

OP - Good to hear things are on the up for you.

Possibly.
Teenage girls can be so astute and level headed, and poisonous wives so willing to be contrite.
Can’t they.