I'm worried my missus will kill us all
Discussion
Welcome to my life OP, except that my OH has Multiple Sclerosis which had impaired her cognitive functions. She has the attention span and short term memory of a goldfish. We have developed safety routines, i.e. I lock up at night and whenever we go out. I expect things to be left in dangerous positions/conditions and make allowances.
She is a bloody good cook, but is not allowed to cook alone, which means that we are together in the kitchen and actually talk to each other, a novelty for some couples after 25 years together
We have checklists (purse, phone, glasses, keys?) and dry-wipe noteboards by the doors for notes and reminders.
We've done this for ten years now, she's no worse, but won't get any better, and no-one has died yet. (I was a fireman for 25 years
) It's all part of life's rich tapestry.
She is a bloody good cook, but is not allowed to cook alone, which means that we are together in the kitchen and actually talk to each other, a novelty for some couples after 25 years together
We have checklists (purse, phone, glasses, keys?) and dry-wipe noteboards by the doors for notes and reminders.
We've done this for ten years now, she's no worse, but won't get any better, and no-one has died yet. (I was a fireman for 25 years
) It's all part of life's rich tapestry. 
Carthage said:
She just sounds tired. Maybe you could do more to help with your son, and in the house?
Strikes me that a lot of posters seem to expect their partners to do everything (like the poor soul who has to open and shut his own curtains to his own satisfaction)...
Yeah, fStrikes me that a lot of posters seem to expect their partners to do everything (like the poor soul who has to open and shut his own curtains to his own satisfaction)...
k em. They are lazy so will never be tired!!
Carthage said:
She just sounds tired. Maybe you could do more to help with your son, and in the house?
Strikes me that a lot of posters seem to expect their partners to do everything (like the poor soul who has to open and shut his own curtains to his own satisfaction)...
I do all the DIY, gardening, that kind of thing (of which there's plenty of). She does most (but not all of) the cooking and cleaning. Dangerously. Strikes me that a lot of posters seem to expect their partners to do everything (like the poor soul who has to open and shut his own curtains to his own satisfaction)...
I'm a VERY hands on father, I'd say child duties are equally split except she has an extra day off a week with him. Which i fully appreciate is hard work with a 2 year old.
jabbalon said:
Does she have a dog you can bum? I read this as a fool proof solution to some kind of dispute on PH a while back. She'd only have to catch you hunched double over the pooch with your jeans round your sweaty ankles once before the point was made. Hopefully.
What. The. fk. !!!!Edit, no dog but the cat is technically hers?
Baldy - I've just asked a mate with a bit of background in vaguely similar situations.
She says that if you remain genuinely worried, and truly are not getting anywhere with getting your wife to be more careful and/or restrict the highest-risk stuff to when you are around, then it may be time to have a quiet word with social services. This is not a step to be taken lightly but they can 'encourage' that your little lad be given a nursery place so that the amount of time she's alone with him can be limited, for example.
She says that if you remain genuinely worried, and truly are not getting anywhere with getting your wife to be more careful and/or restrict the highest-risk stuff to when you are around, then it may be time to have a quiet word with social services. This is not a step to be taken lightly but they can 'encourage' that your little lad be given a nursery place so that the amount of time she's alone with him can be limited, for example.
I think just brushing it off as woman thing is being a bit simplistic.
I could accept that explanation for one or two of the mentioned incidents but there sounds like a catalogue of errors here.
Could she be stressed, does she work? Is she trying to fit too much into a day?
Have you told her that you are now starting to genuinely worry about your son's safety. Is the contention re another child distracting her more than either of you realise?
All above just thoughts abd probably have no bearing at all!
I could accept that explanation for one or two of the mentioned incidents but there sounds like a catalogue of errors here.
Could she be stressed, does she work? Is she trying to fit too much into a day?
Have you told her that you are now starting to genuinely worry about your son's safety. Is the contention re another child distracting her more than either of you realise?
All above just thoughts abd probably have no bearing at all!
My wife isn't too bad, but she does occasionally leave the key on the outside of the front door with her car key attached. We live in an end terraced with the the door right on the street! Luckily I've managed to find it before someone has let them self in and driven off with all our belongings in her car! Last week a door to door salesman found them!
The reason she leaves her keys in the door is due to our 2 year old thinking it's really funny to shut the door on mummy.
He other thing that bugs me is leaving stuff on the stairs that I could trip on when carrying my lazy toddler.
So in conclusion it's the 2 year old's fault. My wife is an amazing mum, and looking after 1 never mind 2 kids can be at times be mind blowing, no wonder things can go wrong occasionally.
The reason she leaves her keys in the door is due to our 2 year old thinking it's really funny to shut the door on mummy.
He other thing that bugs me is leaving stuff on the stairs that I could trip on when carrying my lazy toddler.
So in conclusion it's the 2 year old's fault. My wife is an amazing mum, and looking after 1 never mind 2 kids can be at times be mind blowing, no wonder things can go wrong occasionally.
Edited by Emeye on Monday 29th April 19:11
Edited by Emeye on Monday 29th April 19:11
LOL, still here! Only a few hand bag, washing basket and shoe type trip hazards to negotiate over the weekend thankfully 
), I also know she's finding it quite lonely but the dizziness traits stem from before meeting her, it's not something that has appeared in recent months.
She's a stressy type, can get quite negged out (I occasionally mention she's being pessimistic and she really no likey!). She's always making lists of things to do, then fogets things on the list. I challenged her about this and ended up saying 'you just like going to the shops don't you?' which is pretty much the correct analysis which she does not disagree with. She says her ideal job would be an organising role, I don't think she'd be very good at this. (She's been self employed a year and has already forgotten to submit a VAT return, albeit thankfully she made the payment just return not sent)
She will know I worry about sons (and households!) safety, but then I know it's mentioned and forgotten just as quickly. Issues are regularly included in our day to day chats. We've been together knocking on 5 years now, living together 4 and I can imagine how she lived before we met. Example: Living on own, takes a shower, shaves legs, leaves razor in shower. She's done that twice in our family house since little one around, once i've had to take a razor out of his hands!!
I'm like "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING??" She's obviously not (thinking). I then tell her how bad it would be for him to cut his hands to bits on a razor before she realises how dangerous that was. She agrees, says it won't happen again, but then... 
Seriously, she is not an untidy person but doesn't particularly enjoy housework (which i can relate too). At the end of the day it's as if she's just never acknowledged the increased safety requirements of having a young child around. I'm into boys toys, gadgets, have fishing gear (bloody sharp hooks, line (hanging material!)) e cigs and their toxic juices, tools and so on to keep hidden/track of and yet I manage to do this 24/7 without fail plus keep the property secured as I know what could happen should these things get into the wrong hands or someone gets in.
The conclusion I always draw (and has been in our discussions) is that the reason I do what I do is that it is important to me and therefore it enters my thought process each and every day. The fact she doesn't always keep the house safe can only lead me to think that these things are not important and therefore not on her mind. Yet I know of course she thinks our sons safety is important and when we're out and about she's like a hawk watching and protecting him.
bexVN said:
I think just brushing it off as woman thing is being a bit simplistic.
I could accept that explanation for one or two of the mentioned incidents but there sounds like a catalogue of errors here.
Could she be stressed, does she work? Is she trying to fit too much into a day?
Have you told her that you are now starting to genuinely worry about your son's safety. Is the contention re another child distracting her more than either of you realise?
All above just thoughts abd probably have no bearing at all!
She works from home (yes, very scary), self employed . 4 days a week working, 1 week day to look after our youngster. The other 4 weekdays he's at nursery. She tells me she's busy (must be doing OK as I note her spending much more money these days I could accept that explanation for one or two of the mentioned incidents but there sounds like a catalogue of errors here.
Could she be stressed, does she work? Is she trying to fit too much into a day?
Have you told her that you are now starting to genuinely worry about your son's safety. Is the contention re another child distracting her more than either of you realise?
All above just thoughts abd probably have no bearing at all!
), I also know she's finding it quite lonely but the dizziness traits stem from before meeting her, it's not something that has appeared in recent months.She's a stressy type, can get quite negged out (I occasionally mention she's being pessimistic and she really no likey!). She's always making lists of things to do, then fogets things on the list. I challenged her about this and ended up saying 'you just like going to the shops don't you?' which is pretty much the correct analysis which she does not disagree with. She says her ideal job would be an organising role, I don't think she'd be very good at this. (She's been self employed a year and has already forgotten to submit a VAT return, albeit thankfully she made the payment just return not sent
)She will know I worry about sons (and households!) safety, but then I know it's mentioned and forgotten just as quickly. Issues are regularly included in our day to day chats. We've been together knocking on 5 years now, living together 4 and I can imagine how she lived before we met. Example: Living on own, takes a shower, shaves legs, leaves razor in shower. She's done that twice in our family house since little one around, once i've had to take a razor out of his hands!!
I'm like "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING??" She's obviously not (thinking). I then tell her how bad it would be for him to cut his hands to bits on a razor before she realises how dangerous that was. She agrees, says it won't happen again, but then... Seriously, she is not an untidy person but doesn't particularly enjoy housework (which i can relate too). At the end of the day it's as if she's just never acknowledged the increased safety requirements of having a young child around. I'm into boys toys, gadgets, have fishing gear (bloody sharp hooks, line (hanging material!)) e cigs and their toxic juices, tools and so on to keep hidden/track of and yet I manage to do this 24/7 without fail plus keep the property secured as I know what could happen should these things get into the wrong hands or someone gets in.
The conclusion I always draw (and has been in our discussions) is that the reason I do what I do is that it is important to me and therefore it enters my thought process each and every day. The fact she doesn't always keep the house safe can only lead me to think that these things are not important and therefore not on her mind. Yet I know of course she thinks our sons safety is important and when we're out and about she's like a hawk watching and protecting him.
BliarOut said:
My daughter altered the molecular composition of a burger bap with nothing more than a microwave. Somehow she managed to turn it into carbon and a smell that lingered for days.
Must be a wimmin thing...
Its not - I've done that with an apple pie. Must be a wimmin thing...
Put it in for 10 minutes, instead of 10 seconds.
Knives.
I dive for cover whenever my wife picks up a knife, frankly she is lethally incompetent with them. In addition to handling them like a left handed navie, its also her complete and incorrect use of which knife to do what. A knife is a knife apparently.
You ever seen a non breadknife tying to cut bread? A breadknife used to spread butter?
I dive for cover whenever my wife picks up a knife, frankly she is lethally incompetent with them. In addition to handling them like a left handed navie, its also her complete and incorrect use of which knife to do what. A knife is a knife apparently.
You ever seen a non breadknife tying to cut bread? A breadknife used to spread butter?
I think its just a female thing to turn things on and just leave. My Mrs turns the shower on to warm up and then walks off and starts doing other things. Goes back for the shower 15 minutes later and then turns it to what I would describe as cold as she doesn't like it hot. Its gets hot in less than 30 seconds but she wont listen.
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