Things that annoy you beyond reason...? [Vol 3]

[Tyre Tread]

SilverSixer said:

Einion Yrth said:

SilverSixer said:

But you are a whole Bob, I presume. Don't denigrate yourself. We are all individuals, as the Great Man once said (follow the shoe gourd).

FTFY

Death to the gourd heretics.

How much for the beard?

[axgizmo]

My boss.
Licking his finger to go through pieces of paper then handing them to me... especially when he has been coughing his ring up for the last 4 weeks or so without washing his hands regularly

Ewww

[bernhund]

Putting fuel in my new Transit van. Someone at Ford decided it didn't need a locking cap if the only way you could get to it was by opening the passenger door first. WTF? So someone nicking my diesel is going to rip the flap off & damage the van as well as taking my fking fuel now! My passenger is going to tell me to shut the fking door because the sideways rain or snow is coming in too!
Then there's the little device that shuts automatically when you pull the fuel nozzle out, but because you can't tip or shake the nozzle, a load of diesel spews down the paint work.
What was wrong with a fking fuel cap?!!

[Pothole]

OpulentBob said:

colonel c said:

A work ate often refer to his wife as 'er indoors'.

'My other half' is really cringe-worthy.

I almost exclusively say "Other half" or "my mrs". I would feel like a right ponce if I become one of the "my partner" lot. fk off. She's not my partner. I'm not a lezza. We're an Essex couple. She's my mrs. I'm her bloke.

Someone pulled me up the other day for calling my bird my bird...My bird told them she likes it. She's now my intended, so people just smile.

[JonRB]

We've already established that many of us hate the "Baby on Board" signs. Several stand up comedians have entire skits about them.

But I saw one today that actually really got my ire up.

It said:

Baby on board
BACK OFF

Not my emphasis - it really was "back off" in bold block capitals.

I'm nowhere near you, fkyouverymuch. Why don't you just ps off, you sanctimonious tt!

[Cobnapint]

Hearing Ed Milliband say "...cost of living crisis..."

It's right up there with Alex Salmonds "...bluff and bluster.."

[rohrl]

Cobnapint said:

Hearing Ed Milliband say "...cost of living crisis..."

It's right up there with Alex Salmonds "...bluff and bluster.."

Not to mention "...hardworking families..." What about lazy singletons? I've got a vote too you know.

[bazza white]

OpulentBob said:

I almost exclusively say "Other half" or "my mrs". I would feel like a right ponce if I become one of the "my partner" lot. fk off. She's not my partner. I'm not a lezza. We're an Essex couple. She's my mrs. I'm her bloke.

I go on holiday with my brother and he kept saying "my partner/ex partner" in conversation to others. Two 30ish year old blokes on holiday looks bad enough as it is so I had to say something.

[ambuletz]

Why the hell is it that when I placed an order online at around 1pm on monday with a website my order wasn't dispatched until today? Pathetic. the order wasn't being picked until yesterday. It was in stock. standard delivery 2-4days. Should have arraived by now but it's only just left today!!

[br d]

Pothole said:

omeone pulled me up the other day for calling my bird my bird...My bird told them she likes it. She's now my intended, so people just smile.

Check your privilege you hetero, enablist, CIS scumbag, you can't just go around spitting trigger words at people. Calling a woman "My bird" is rape.

(Seriously, look this stuff up, there a thousands of cretins spouting this stuff now).

[JonRB]

br d said:

Check your privilege you hetero, enablist, CIS scumbag, you can't just go around spitting trigger words at people. Calling a woman "My bird" is rape.

(Seriously, look this stuff up, there a thousands of cretins spouting this stuff now).

I think these people tend to lose sight of the issue of consent. If "your bird" likes the name then all is shiny. If she doesn't then it's probably not so cool.

[All that jazz]

UPS have annoyed me beyond reason over this past 2 weeks. Strangely everything I've ordered recently has had UPS as the courier. About 2 weeks ago I was expecting a parcel but wouldn't be in to receive it on the day it was due to deliver so well in advance I went on their site to reschedule delivery. How hard can it be? Well apparently - quite. First of all you can't alter a delivery date unless delivery has already been attemped. .. which makes a complete mockery of the option but whatever.. So delivery attempted and failed. OK, let's give it a try now. No cigar, need to set up a UPS Choice account before you can reschedule deliveries. Grr. OK whatever, so I did that. "Thank for you choosing UPS Choice, blah blah blah... in order to confirm your identity we will send out a password within the next 7 days which you will need to activate UPS Choice." What fking use is that to me to reschedule a parcel that is being delivered tomorrow?

So a week went by and nothing received here. Whatever.. don't care.. I've got my st now so you can fk off with your stupid passwords. That was all cool until I ordered some st from Apple last week who also use UPS. Wasn't going to be in on Thursday so went to reschedule delivery.. bks, need a working UPS Choice account!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tried to contact Apple to reschedule it but it was too late in the day and the department that deals with that side of things had already gone home. What I actually wanted to do was tell them to stop trying to fking deliver it and hold it at their depot as ironically it was NEXT DOOR to the place I've been at for the past 2 days and I could've popped along with some ID and picked it up myself. But no, super efficient UPS want to keep wasting everyone's time delivering parcels to people that aren't in with no way for the customer to contact them to organise something more useful. Useless fkers!!!!!!!

[LordJammy]

At work today putting a screen in a girls' Clio. Asked her if she could reverse it into the space next to my van.
"Ohh no, can you do it? I'm afraid of reversing"
I had to maintain a cheery smile as I boiled inside as my bonus depends on an excellent customer service score.

WHY ARE YOU DRIVING? HOW DID YOU PASS YOUR TEST? FOR fkS SAKE. GET A GRIP.

[JonRB]

All that jazz said:

UPS have annoyed me beyond reason over this past 2 weeks....

This is why Amazon Locker is so brilliant.

Although I'm lucky enough right now that Goods In at my primary client are happy to receive deliveries for both permies and contractors (the latter is bloody nice of them I have to say). It is such a boon to be able to have stuff delivered to work and know that someone will be guaranteed to receive it.

[xreyuk]

Stacking the dishwasher. How fking hard is it to put st in the dishwasher so that it;

A. Gets clean and B. So you can fit more than 3 bowls and 4 plates in it.

Missus: The dishwashers full
Her Brother: Yeah I couldn't put my plate in cause it's full so I left it on the side.
Me: Opens dishwasher door, moves bowls and cups around.

OH LOOK THERE SPACE FOR 6 MORE PLATES AND 5 MORE CUPS.

fk off ffs.

[kowalski655]

Proof that men are best at stacking the dishwasher!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2930531/...
(So your BiL is actually a bird! )

[CC07 PEU]

Those People's Postcode Lottery adverts: load of absolute ste!

Robson Green's Extreme fking Fishing: no matter what time of the year, month, day of the week, or hour of the day, this fking ste always seems to be on somewhere in the myriad of cable television channels and it's almost impossible to avoid!

[Captain Muppet]

24 teeth per inch on saw blades. It's been dragging on for decades, can we please complete going metric?

It hugely frustrates me that my metric sockets are still driven by square drives measured in inches.

[fatboy18]

Hate the Metric system with a vengeance, It was supposed to be simple, well it bloody well isn't,

Its much easier in a timber yard to ask for 1/2 a dozen 4X2s instead of whatever it is in metric.

Watch all the How its made programs on telly now, they talk in metric numbers and speed in kilometers, I have ZERO interest. English road signs are 30mph 50mph 70mph etc NOT bloody Kilometers, so why should I be expected to know what the program is talking about when it mentions Kilometers?

I'm in the property maintenance game, I can honestly tell you I have made more cock ups trying to work out where to put that decimal point when ordering replacement windows that has cost me time and money. I now always measure in Feet and inches, if the company I order from gets it wrong converting it, then its their fault not mine! millimeters, centimeters and what ever comes after that I really cant be bothered with.

I will agree as far as money goes, its easier working with 10 than the old Pounds Shillings and Sixpence
But that's it for me.

[Antony Moxey]

So basically that's a long winded way of saying you're a bit dim. There's nothing complicated about a measurement system based on multiples of ten rather than sixteenths, twelfths, thirds and one thousand seven hundred and sixtieths.