Things that annoy you beyond reason...? [Vol 3]
Discussion
The trite patronising 'speech bubble' signs that are on the roadworks sections of the M3 at the moment. They include such gems as "Welcome to our Work Area" at the start of the roadworks, "Building a better safer M3", "Nobody likes a tailgater", "Let's all get home safely" and, my personal favourite, "You may not always see us".
The last is particularly galling as these works have been going on for months and I rarely see anyone doing anything. Just miles and miles of motorway set at 50mph controlled by SPECS average speed cameras. The area between J6 and J7 (the two Basingstoke junctions) is particularly bad currently as there is absolutely no work going on whatsoever but it is still 50mph.
Edit: Before anyone says, I'm not talking about the part immediately after J6 where there are narrow lanes. I'm talking about where it returns to 3 normal lanes, the free recovery ends, and then it's 8 miles of nothing out the ordinary apart from 50mph signs, some cones along the hard shoulder, and the SPECS cameras. The speed limit doesn't return to 70 until way past J7 and into the two lane section of the M3 past the A303 turnoff.
The last is particularly galling as these works have been going on for months and I rarely see anyone doing anything. Just miles and miles of motorway set at 50mph controlled by SPECS average speed cameras. The area between J6 and J7 (the two Basingstoke junctions) is particularly bad currently as there is absolutely no work going on whatsoever but it is still 50mph.
Edit: Before anyone says, I'm not talking about the part immediately after J6 where there are narrow lanes. I'm talking about where it returns to 3 normal lanes, the free recovery ends, and then it's 8 miles of nothing out the ordinary apart from 50mph signs, some cones along the hard shoulder, and the SPECS cameras. The speed limit doesn't return to 70 until way past J7 and into the two lane section of the M3 past the A303 turnoff.
Edited by JonRB on Tuesday 4th August 10:36
JonRB said:
The trite patronising 'speech bubble' signs that are on the roadworks sections of the M3 at the moment. They include such gems as "Welcome to our Work Area" at the start of the roadworks, "Building a better safer M3", "Nobody likes a tailgater", "Let's all get home safely" and, my personal favourite, "You may not always see us".
The last is particularly galling as these works have been going on for months and I rarely see anyone doing anything. Just miles and miles of motorway set at 50mph controlled by SPECS average speed cameras. The area between J6 and J7 (the two Basingstoke junctions) is particularly bad currently as there is absolutely no work going on whatsoever but it is still 50mph.
Edit: Before anyone says, I'm not talking about the part immediately after J6 where there are narrow lanes. I'm talking about where it returns to 3 normal lanes, the free recovery ends, and then it's 8 miles of nothing out the ordinary apart from 50mph signs, some cones along the hard shoulder, and the SPECS cameras. The speed limit doesn't return to 70 until way past J7 and into the two lane section of the M3 past the A303 turnoff.
I saw these this morning.The last is particularly galling as these works have been going on for months and I rarely see anyone doing anything. Just miles and miles of motorway set at 50mph controlled by SPECS average speed cameras. The area between J6 and J7 (the two Basingstoke junctions) is particularly bad currently as there is absolutely no work going on whatsoever but it is still 50mph.
Edit: Before anyone says, I'm not talking about the part immediately after J6 where there are narrow lanes. I'm talking about where it returns to 3 normal lanes, the free recovery ends, and then it's 8 miles of nothing out the ordinary apart from 50mph signs, some cones along the hard shoulder, and the SPECS cameras. The speed limit doesn't return to 70 until way past J7 and into the two lane section of the M3 past the A303 turnoff.
Edited by JonRB on Tuesday 4th August 10:36
There is also one that looks like Robbie Coltrane in a hi-vis vest with the words "our Mum works here" or something similar
On the plus side I did see an actual person in a hi-vis vest this morning there.
Tidybeard said:
Also, people driving. I could actually end it there but I'll be more specific.
- The fleet of Honda Jazzs that is parked up in strategic locations within 500m of wherever I happen to be so they can pull out and bimble along in front of me at half the speed limit without a care in the world. They can mobilise to get in my way in an instant. You could actually substitute any small hatchback here but it's normally a Jazz.
- The three cars behind the Jazz that have now worked out that I'll overtake the Jazz given half a chance but it's unlikely that I'll go for four in a row on a B road, especially with them being spaced four feet apart. These are normally Korean SUVs - just tall enough to obscure sight lines and just cheap enough to be bought by people who like the Jazz but "like to sit a bit higher". There is absolutely no danger of them ever considering overtaking the Jazz, even if they have 1100 miles to go on their journey.
- Summer holiday drivers. At least during the regular season hell most people on the motorway go as fast as the car in front of them. In the summer, the "pick a lane and drive in it" brigade are out in force. This is often a Honda Jazz.
- Anyone in a Honda Jazz
One positive of the summer is that Emasculated People Carrier Dad temporarily forgets he is Fernando Alonso on a mission to kill everyone on the road (and prove that his car is just as fast as yours and he bought it for practical reasons and could have got a Lotus if he'd wanted one and even though he's losing his hair, has a bit of a belly and man boobs, sells bathroom fittings for a living and has sex biannually if he's lucky (and normally with himself), he is more of a man than you'll ever be mate), and slows down slightly as the kids are on board (or heaven forbid, lets the wife drive). That was deliberately a long sentence because I picture him giving me the lecture without drawing breath.
Thank god I'm completely without flaws or I wouldn't have a pedestal from which to preach.
- The fleet of Honda Jazzs that is parked up in strategic locations within 500m of wherever I happen to be so they can pull out and bimble along in front of me at half the speed limit without a care in the world. They can mobilise to get in my way in an instant. You could actually substitute any small hatchback here but it's normally a Jazz.
- The three cars behind the Jazz that have now worked out that I'll overtake the Jazz given half a chance but it's unlikely that I'll go for four in a row on a B road, especially with them being spaced four feet apart. These are normally Korean SUVs - just tall enough to obscure sight lines and just cheap enough to be bought by people who like the Jazz but "like to sit a bit higher". There is absolutely no danger of them ever considering overtaking the Jazz, even if they have 1100 miles to go on their journey.
- Summer holiday drivers. At least during the regular season hell most people on the motorway go as fast as the car in front of them. In the summer, the "pick a lane and drive in it" brigade are out in force. This is often a Honda Jazz.
- Anyone in a Honda Jazz
One positive of the summer is that Emasculated People Carrier Dad temporarily forgets he is Fernando Alonso on a mission to kill everyone on the road (and prove that his car is just as fast as yours and he bought it for practical reasons and could have got a Lotus if he'd wanted one and even though he's losing his hair, has a bit of a belly and man boobs, sells bathroom fittings for a living and has sex biannually if he's lucky (and normally with himself), he is more of a man than you'll ever be mate), and slows down slightly as the kids are on board (or heaven forbid, lets the wife drive). That was deliberately a long sentence because I picture him giving me the lecture without drawing breath.
Thank god I'm completely without flaws or I wouldn't have a pedestal from which to preach.
My MIL has got a Jazz recently. Having driven it, they are to flimsy to do the speedlimit. I've driven more solid feeling fiats ffs.
Tidybeard said:
- The fleet of Honda Jazzs that is parked up in strategic locations within 500m of wherever I happen to be so they can pull out and bimble along in front of me at half the speed limit without a care in the world. They can mobilise to get in my way in an instant. You could actually substitute any small hatchback here but it's normally a Jazz.
- The three cars behind the Jazz that have now worked out that I'll overtake the Jazz given half a chance but it's unlikely that I'll go for four in a row on a B road, especially with them being spaced four feet apart. These are normally Korean SUVs - just tall enough to obscure sight lines and just cheap enough to be bought by people who like the Jazz but "like to sit a bit higher". There is absolutely no danger of them ever considering overtaking the Jazz, even if they have 1100 miles to go on their journey.
- Summer holiday drivers. At least during the regular season hell most people on the motorway go as fast as the car in front of them. In the summer, the "pick a lane and drive in it" brigade are out in force. This is often a Honda Jazz.
- Anyone in a Honda Jazz.
Didn't know you knew my parents.- The three cars behind the Jazz that have now worked out that I'll overtake the Jazz given half a chance but it's unlikely that I'll go for four in a row on a B road, especially with them being spaced four feet apart. These are normally Korean SUVs - just tall enough to obscure sight lines and just cheap enough to be bought by people who like the Jazz but "like to sit a bit higher". There is absolutely no danger of them ever considering overtaking the Jazz, even if they have 1100 miles to go on their journey.
- Summer holiday drivers. At least during the regular season hell most people on the motorway go as fast as the car in front of them. In the summer, the "pick a lane and drive in it" brigade are out in force. This is often a Honda Jazz.
- Anyone in a Honda Jazz.
FourWheelDrift said:
People on quiz shows who have the combined general knowledge of a basket of fruit.
You watch quiz shows? I only have that problem when we go visit the parents, I'm normally out of the room strimming acres of grass and tending to a horse whilst Little Ex is coming out to complain about Grandma and Granddad watching cr$p on the telly.I'm trying the 'Why.T.F' are you even watching this approach, but old people are old people and they like their staple TV contents.
Good luck!
Hugo a Gogo said:
I am that dad ^
people on cross-channel ferries
what makes previously normal people want to sleep on every surface on a ferry?
bringing fecking camping mats and lying down in the stairwell?
every place in the restaurant taken up by people lying across the seats, with their sweaty shoeless feet up ?
Haha! Priceless. people on cross-channel ferries
what makes previously normal people want to sleep on every surface on a ferry?
bringing fecking camping mats and lying down in the stairwell?
every place in the restaurant taken up by people lying across the seats, with their sweaty shoeless feet up ?
The fact that McVities are using the theme to Airwolf as a jingle on their advert for whatever cardboard breakfast s
t they are currently peddling.
This means that it is just "a tune" to most people now. Or, worse, "the music to that McVities advert".
I loved Airwolf as a kid. I feel like part of my childhood just died.
t they are currently peddling. This means that it is just "a tune" to most people now. Or, worse, "the music to that McVities advert".
I loved Airwolf as a kid. I feel like part of my childhood just died.
JonRB said:
The trite patronising 'speech bubble' signs that are on the roadworks sections of the M3 at the moment. They include such gems as "Welcome to our Work Area" at the start of the roadworks, "Building a better safer M3", "Nobody likes a tailgater", "Let's all get home safely" and, my personal favourite, "You may not always see us".
The last is particularly galling as these works have been going on for months and I rarely see anyone doing anything. Just miles and miles of motorway set at 50mph controlled by SPECS average speed cameras. The area between J6 and J7 (the two Basingstoke junctions) is particularly bad currently as there is absolutely no work going on whatsoever but it is still 50mph.
Edit: Before anyone says, I'm not talking about the part immediately after J6 where there are narrow lanes. I'm talking about where it returns to 3 normal lanes, the free recovery ends, and then it's 8 miles of nothing out the ordinary apart from 50mph signs, some cones along the hard shoulder, and the SPECS cameras. The speed limit doesn't return to 70 until way past J7 and into the two lane section of the M3 past the A303 turnoff.
There on the M1 too, such sThe last is particularly galling as these works have been going on for months and I rarely see anyone doing anything. Just miles and miles of motorway set at 50mph controlled by SPECS average speed cameras. The area between J6 and J7 (the two Basingstoke junctions) is particularly bad currently as there is absolutely no work going on whatsoever but it is still 50mph.
Edit: Before anyone says, I'm not talking about the part immediately after J6 where there are narrow lanes. I'm talking about where it returns to 3 normal lanes, the free recovery ends, and then it's 8 miles of nothing out the ordinary apart from 50mph signs, some cones along the hard shoulder, and the SPECS cameras. The speed limit doesn't return to 70 until way past J7 and into the two lane section of the M3 past the A303 turnoff.
Edited by JonRB on Tuesday 4th August 10:36
te!JonRB said:
The trite patronising 'speech bubble' signs that are on the roadworks sections of the M3 at the moment. They include such gems as "Welcome to our Work Area" at the start of the roadworks, "Building a better safer M3", "Nobody likes a tailgater", "Let's all get home safely" and, my personal favourite, "You may not always see us".
The last is particularly galling as these works have been going on for months and I rarely see anyone doing anything. Just miles and miles of motorway set at 50mph controlled by SPECS average speed cameras. The area between J6 and J7 (the two Basingstoke junctions) is particularly bad currently as there is absolutely no work going on whatsoever but it is still 50mph.
Edit: Before anyone says, I'm not talking about the part immediately after J6 where there are narrow lanes. I'm talking about where it returns to 3 normal lanes, the free recovery ends, and then it's 8 miles of nothing out the ordinary apart from 50mph signs, some cones along the hard shoulder, and the SPECS cameras. The speed limit doesn't return to 70 until way past J7 and into the two lane section of the M3 past the A303 turnoff.
My daddy works here! The last is particularly galling as these works have been going on for months and I rarely see anyone doing anything. Just miles and miles of motorway set at 50mph controlled by SPECS average speed cameras. The area between J6 and J7 (the two Basingstoke junctions) is particularly bad currently as there is absolutely no work going on whatsoever but it is still 50mph.
Edit: Before anyone says, I'm not talking about the part immediately after J6 where there are narrow lanes. I'm talking about where it returns to 3 normal lanes, the free recovery ends, and then it's 8 miles of nothing out the ordinary apart from 50mph signs, some cones along the hard shoulder, and the SPECS cameras. The speed limit doesn't return to 70 until way past J7 and into the two lane section of the M3 past the A303 turnoff.
Edited by JonRB on Tuesday 4th August 10:36
Drive safe, someone loves you!
Come On Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runners.
There. I've said it.
Why, lets remind ourselves after 33 years
,can we not find another record to end a party with? And lets face it, another record that isn't such a load of fking st?
It was a truly terrible record then and it still is. If you actually own it, I bet you never play it so why? WHY? does everyone pile onto the dance floor pissed out of their heads at the end of the evening to dance like their trying to stamp on cockroaches? In 33 YEARS have we not been able to find another record that can sum up the end of the evening? To put it in context, if you were at a disco/birthday party/wedding back in 1982 its now the equivalent of putting on Roll Out The Barrel.
Would you have danced to that then? No.
We need to find a new pissed up party ender.
There. I've said it.
Why, lets remind ourselves after 33 years
,can we not find another record to end a party with? And lets face it, another record that isn't such a load of fking st? It was a truly terrible record then and it still is. If you actually own it, I bet you never play it so why? WHY? does everyone pile onto the dance floor pissed out of their heads at the end of the evening to dance like their trying to stamp on cockroaches? In 33 YEARS have we not been able to find another record that can sum up the end of the evening? To put it in context, if you were at a disco/birthday party/wedding back in 1982 its now the equivalent of putting on Roll Out The Barrel.
Would you have danced to that then? No.
We need to find a new pissed up party ender.
All that jazz said:
My daddy works here!
Drive safe, someone loves you!
All that Jazz, eh? That's me in your mirrors, showing you how coffee beans should be shaken Drive safe, someone loves you!
. Wait, why would you be looking in your mirrors...Today I drove a considerable distance along the A14 and observed that Britain once again leads the world. This time in the nascent but fast growing sport of synchronised lorry driving.
In case you haven't seen it, this is where two huge knights of the road mimic one another's driving in perfect formation, one in the left lane, one in the right, at precisely 56mph for mile upon mile upon mile.....truly breathtaking in the skill required to accurately align the fronts and rears of the vehicles at Felixstowe and, with stunning co-ordination, maintain their exact relative positions until the Catthorpe interchange, some 132 miles later. By the end I (and the other drivers behind them) were choking back tears, so moved were we by this selfless feat of performance art.
This is even more impressive when one considers that the drivers were leaning into one another's windows and using their hands to pleasure each other whilst engaging in a stimulating discussion about the best 12v in-cab toasters, whether it's really necessary to bathe more than once a month, and the 50 best ways to sodomise a hitchhiker.
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