My grandad died tonight.

[Butter Face]

R1gtr said:

Butter Face said:

Thanks for that, it's just made me smile for the first time in a few days

No problem mate, watches would be a great idea, give you something to pass on to your kids/grandkids too.
You could also take up mountain biking or something you always thought about, now is the time, the loss of a loved one shows that we have to follow our dreams and live our lives to the max.
How about a motorbike?

I think my gran would go mad if I got a motorbike and it's never really been a dream of mine tbh.

Maybe I need to think about what I want to do. He always made time to do stuff with me, drove me around the country to car shows, collecting parts for cars and lying on the floor in the pouring down rain fixing the gearbox on my old Mini (His favourite story was how he had rain running down his collar and out of his trouser leg )

I will speak to my gran about taking on his watches, she won't really want them and I'd wager there's a few he bought on ebay that she doesn't know about!!

[hbzboy]

Butter Face said:

R1gtr said:

Start a new hobby, something you always fancied, do it as a tribute.

What a great idea

My granddad loved watches, he's got quite a collection (nothing expensive but some cool stuff) so I could carry on with that, He'd love it if I did that.

Thanks for that, it's just made me smile for the first time in a few days

First of all OP deepest condolences. But be very wary of collecting watches it becomes addictive very quickly. Just check out the watch forum on here.

It was my grandfather and a Rolex that got me in my mess. Lol

[Butter Face]

hbzboy said:

Butter Face said:

R1gtr said:

Start a new hobby, something you always fancied, do it as a tribute.

What a great idea

My granddad loved watches, he's got quite a collection (nothing expensive but some cool stuff) so I could carry on with that, He'd love it if I did that.

Thanks for that, it's just made me smile for the first time in a few days

First of all OP deepest condolences. But be very wary of collecting watches it becomes addictive very quickly. Just check out the watch forum on here.

It was my grandfather and a Rolex that got me in my mess. Lol

Haha, don't worry I don't have the cash for Rolexs!

My grandad has some great pocket watches, he never used them, just liked to 'have' them. He was a silly bugger really

I keep getting these odd moments where I actually sit and think about him and the fact he's now gone and my brain just goes scatty, like I can't comprehend that I won't ever see him again. It's bizarre, I just can't seem to focus, then it's gone again; panic subsided and back into the real world. It's weird

[hbzboy]

Butter Face said:

hbzboy said:

Butter Face said:

R1gtr said:

Start a new hobby, something you always fancied, do it as a tribute.

What a great idea

My granddad loved watches, he's got quite a collection (nothing expensive but some cool stuff) so I could carry on with that, He'd love it if I did that.

Thanks for that, it's just made me smile for the first time in a few days

First of all OP deepest condolences. But be very wary of collecting watches it becomes addictive very quickly. Just check out the watch forum on here.

It was my grandfather and a Rolex that got me in my mess. Lol

Haha, don't worry I don't have the cash for Rolexs!

My grandad has some great pocket watches, he never used them, just liked to 'have' them. He was a silly bugger really

I keep getting these odd moments where I actually sit and think about him and the fact he's now gone and my brain just goes scatty, like I can't comprehend that I won't ever see him again. It's bizarre, I just can't seem to focus, then it's gone again; panic subsided and back into the real world. It's weird

I know exactly how you feel. Lost my first at 16 then none for several years. 2 grandfathers in a quick succession aged 25 and still have my last grandmother. It is an old cliche but time is the best healer. Sit, think, reminisce and cry it worked for me. I have no doubt you will see home again, I know I did in some of the most vivid dream I have ever had all with an intimate message but one that was the same throughout........ This was goodbye and don't worry. You'll be fine mate. After all you have us on here.

[Daston]

Sorry to hear your loss chap.

I was lucky and didnt loose a family member until I was 25 it was a drawn out thing but still a shock to get the phone call from my Mum.

Then 3 months ago we had just moved into our new house and got a call from my Mum telling my Nan had died suddenly. That really hit me and my Wife hard, we had only seen her a few days before and had made plans for her to see the house that we are so proud of.

I just kept busy with work and chatted to my Mum a lot making sure there was anything we could do to help. Seemed to easy the pain. Still feel a stab in the heart when I think she will never see us have kids or get to see the house we always went on about lol.

The one thing I can tell you is it will get easier, grab life by the horns, I am sure your Grandad would want that for you.

[Goughie]

I went to see my maternal grandmother in hospital on Wednesday where she was receiving palliative care. I didn't recognise her, so poorly was she. I spent an hour with her whilst she slept, along with my mum, dad and aunt. We laughed, told a few jokes and recalled some nice moments. On Friday morning she died and I am heartbroken for my mum and aunt, who left the hospital just before she passed. I am proud that she maintained her dignity, wit and fierce independence throughout her life - even after she lost her husband of more than 50 years in 1998. We may not be able to die with much dignity, but she taught me you must live your life with it.
Like most, I have loved and lost, experienced unrequited feelings, yearned, lusted and desired in my inconsequential existence. Only now have I physically ached. I will miss her.

[Butter Face]

Gran had a voicemail from the coroner today, gramps is going to have a post mortem.

They need grandma to call back tomorrow (not sure why) but they've said she needs to call first thing, possibly they need authorisation??

After that they've said they can release his body so we will be looking at the early/middle of next week for the cremation.

I know I've said it loads, but thanks again for all the support, you've all been ace

[Butter Face]

Just go back from my Grans. We met with the Funeral Director tonight, he's a damn nice guy, drives an Audi Q7 on 20's which instantly meant I liked the bloke.

All sorted for next Thursday, crematorium booked and he's taken one of gramps' favourite shirts for him to wear.

Gran has asked to visit gramps at the chapel of rest next Wednesday, mum will be going too but I'm a bit reserved about it. I said my goodbyes last Thursday and saw gramps in the hospital and said goodbye and he looked happy and like he'd just fallen asleep.

I'm worried that seeing him 'done up' and with all the prep work done it will be like looking at a waxwork? I mean, he'll have been dead almost 2 weeks by then!

It's his birthday tomorrow, going to mum's after work and we're having a BBQ in his honour which he would have loved

[Butter Face]

Well we had a little gathering for Gramps last night as it was his birthday.

Everyone had a laugh and a cry and some food and drink and we shared memories with each other.

I dropped his motability car back to work today and even cleaned it all up as he wouldn't have wanted it to go back in a state (it hasn't moved since last wednesday)

Grandma is sorting out death certificate etc on tuesday which is proving to be awkward as she needs his birth/marriage certificate and can't find them.

Is anyone reading any good with mortgages etc? They still have some money oustanding with aroud 3 years left to run, any advice on what would be the best way in dealing with it? Gran doesn't have the money to pay it off and it would break her heart to sell the house but she's afraid they won't remortgage when the term is up. Any advice appreciated

[R1gtr]

If you feel that you have said goodbye and are happy then maybe give the final viewing a miss, I have done it before and it's not for me but each to their own.
Pretty sure their is a chap on the finance section called 'sarnie' if I remember correctly, he has helped lots of PH'ers and is supposed to be a top bloke by all accounts, give him a message

Edited by R1gtr on Friday 12th July 14:42

[kiethton]

Butter Face said:

Well we had a little gathering for Gramps last night as it was his birthday.

Everyone had a laugh and a cry and some food and drink and we shared memories with each other.

I dropped his motability car back to work today and even cleaned it all up as he wouldn't have wanted it to go back in a state (it hasn't moved since last wednesday)

Grandma is sorting out death certificate etc on tuesday which is proving to be awkward as she needs his birth/marriage certificate and can't find them.

Is anyone reading any good with mortgages etc? They still have some money oustanding with aroud 3 years left to run, any advice on what would be the best way in dealing with it? Gran doesn't have the money to pay it off and it would break her heart to sell the house but she's afraid they won't remortgage when the term is up. Any advice appreciated

Sorry to hear of your loss.

On the mortgage thing try contacting Sarnie (Liam) on here, he has helped me and a number of other PH'ers over the years

[Butter Face]

Well the funeral is tomorrow.

I decided to go with my family and see gramps at the chapel of rest today, it was weird.

He looked good, face was a bit bruised from when the post mortem was carried out and his facial muscles had started to sag a bit but he looked ok, peaceful.

Grandma spent some time with him alone and I was outside with tw funeral director who is an absolutely top class bloke.

Tomorrow will be a sad day but it will also help with the grieving process.

[Butter Face]

Thanks for the good wishes today.

It was a brilliant day, there was no black clothes, no prayers or hymns, just laughter, tears and remembrance. He would have been so proud.

My grandma was so strong, she cried of course like everyone else did and she went to bed this afternoon to sleep. I think it has finally hit her and she could sleep for the first time in 2 weeks.

My sister read a poem and it was brilliant, I wish I had had te courage to stand up and do it.

We spent the afternoon as a family in my mums garden drinking beer and had a BBQ, we left a chair empty for gramps as he would have been there in the middle with us laughing and joking.

[mcxuk1]

Butter Face said:

Thanks for the good wishes today.

It was a brilliant day, there was no black clothes, no prayers or hymns, just laughter, tears and remembrance. He would have been so proud.

My grandma was so strong, she cried of course like everyone else did and she went to bed this afternoon to sleep. I think it has finally hit her and she could sleep for the first time in 2 weeks.

My sister read a poem and it was brilliant, I wish I had had te courage to stand up and do it.

We spent the afternoon as a family in my mums garden drinking beer and had a BBQ, we left a chair empty for gramps as he would have been there in the middle with us laughing and joking.

Glad it went ok for you today (well, as ok as it can, you know what I mean). My mum is dying and I know I'll have her funeral to go to shortly and I haven't got a clue how you begin to get through the day.

[Butter Face]

My only advice would be to keep your head up, keep smiling and remember the good times.

It was very sad watching him go behind the curtain and thinking 'that's it' and the next time we'd see him he will be dust.

We've had such a great day renemberibg him, laughing, joking and being together and he would have been there alongside us drinking whiskey and eating burgers and it was like he'd never left.

[GloverMart]

Butter Face said:

...my family let me have a minute with him before we left and I told him how much I loved him, that I'll carry on being everything he's helped me to be. .

Was in a similar position twelve years ago with a man who meant the world to me (again, not my father). Best thing I ever did was to have ten minutes on my own with him after he passed to say those things you wouldn't say to anyone else.

I'm glad you had the opportunity, it WILL make a difference.

[Butter Face]

Amazing how quickly 12 months goes by!

Doesn't seem real that a year ago today I lost my grandad, it's surreal how time really is a healer. I'm sat at my grandparents house by myself at the moment waiting for the family to come back from shopping so we can go leave flowers at the cemetery (in the rain, in July )

I do still think of him every day, I struggle to remember his voice sometimes, that's a weird feeling! But he's still 'with me' in a non spiritual sense every day (as unlike my family I don't really believe in 'better places' or heaven or whatever anymore) but the people you love go on in your memories of them.

Anyway, must dash, these flowers won't deliver themselves.

[GloverMart]

Butter Face said:

Amazing how quickly 12 months goes by!

Doesn't seem real that a year ago today I lost my grandad, it's surreal how time really is a healer. I'm sat at my grandparents house by myself at the moment waiting for the family to come back from shopping so we can go leave flowers at the cemetery (in the rain, in July )

I do still think of him every day, I struggle to remember his voice sometimes, that's a weird feeling! But he's still 'with me' in a non spiritual sense every day (as unlike my family I don't really believe in 'better places' or heaven or whatever anymore) but the people you love go on in your memories of them.

Anyway, must dash, these flowers won't deliver themselves.

Great, thanks for the update.

[StuntmanMike]

Butter Face said:

Amazing how quickly 12 months goes by!

Doesn't seem real that a year ago today I lost my grandad, it's surreal how time really is a healer. I'm sat at my grandparents house by myself at the moment waiting for the family to come back from shopping so we can go leave flowers at the cemetery (in the rain, in July )

I do still think of him every day, I struggle to remember his voice sometimes, that's a weird feeling! But he's still 'with me' in a non spiritual sense every day (as unlike my family I don't really believe in 'better places' or heaven or whatever anymore) but the people you love go on in your memories of them.

Anyway, must dash, these flowers won't deliver themselves.

I was thinking this myself, my grandad died when my wife was pregnant, we told him the news whilst he spent his last week in hospital after a stroke, the baby is now 11, time really flies but what really hits me is she never knew him, now my parents are pensioner's and I've seen the best side of forty.

[El Guapo]

My grandfather died a fair while ago. He was an inspiration to me as a young lad, I wanted to be like him and his death hit the whole family hard. The saddest thing was the effect it had on grandma; they had been as one for 50-odd years and she was never the same again.

Be there for your grandma as much as you can.