Pistonheaders and their First World Problems.

[GingerWizard]

Ray Luxury-Yacht said:

Close to suicide, as this is the second time in a week I have had to endure such a vexation.

I try so hard, I really do - but I just don't have the funds for a better kitchen, let alone staff to ensure that preventable disasters like this do not occur...

So, I went to the cutlery drawer. The toast was already out, and hence commencing it's 'cool-down' phase, so swift action is, as I am sure you understand, of paramount importance at this stage.

The drawer doesn't really easily open all the way out - it doesn't even have a stopper on it so I just can't risk it, know what I mean?

Anyway, because of that, I can only see the handles of the cutlery. So I dive in, grabbing a knife from the knife section of the divider tray. But what do I get? A bloody fork!!!

Forks in the knife section of the cutlery drawer. The stuff of nightmares, I am sure you'll agree...

Oh FML does this enrage me. I nearly went down with a clutcher* reading that post!

[Don1]

My open packet of granola has too much fruit in... FML.

[Jimmy No Hands]

Borrowed a mates DB9 last week, fancied a bit of Smooth FM on the way home.

Non-DAB radio what is this the stone age

Don't know how he copes day to day to be honest.

[Jaroon]

Whilst enjoying some alone time with just me and the computer in the house, the video I was streaming decided to freeze/buffer with a gurning blokes face on screen, just at the very wrong moment as I was committed. I didn't know what to do or where to look, at which point I heard the front door opening. Multi leveled nightmare.

[devnull]

Jaroon said:

Whilst enjoying some alone time with just me and the computer in the house, the video I was streaming decided to freeze/buffer with a gurning blokes face on screen, just at the very wrong moment as I was committed. I didn't know what to do or where to look, at which point I heard the front door opening. Multi leveled nightmare.

Don't you have emergency fap material in your head for moment like this?

[Usget]

Ray Luxury-Yacht said:

Close to suicide, as this is the second time in a week I have had to endure such a vexation.

I try so hard, I really do - but I just don't have the funds for a better kitchen, let alone staff to ensure that preventable disasters like this do not occur...

So, I went to the cutlery drawer. The toast was already out, and hence commencing it's 'cool-down' phase, so swift action is, as I am sure you understand, of paramount importance at this stage.

The drawer doesn't really easily open all the way out - it doesn't even have a stopper on it so I just can't risk it, know what I mean?

Anyway, because of that, I can only see the handles of the cutlery. So I dive in, grabbing a knife from the knife section of the divider tray. But what do I get? A bloody fork!!!

Forks in the knife section of the cutlery drawer. The stuff of nightmares, I am sure you'll agree...

I feel your pain, as I have had to endure a similar, but, I venture, even more hideous dose of kitchen-based woe.

There is a right way, and a wrong way, to put the potato masher back in the drawer. If it is put back in the right way, the drawer will reward the subsequent user by opening freely and without a moment's hesitation. If, however, it was put back in the wrong way, it allows the drawer to close before shifting slightly and deadlocking the drawer against the top of the unit.

The only way to resolve this situation is to use a spatula as a jemmy to compress the potato masher back into the drawer, thus allowing it to clear the lip of the unit. But I can't do that BECAUSE THE fkING SPATULA IS IN THE DRAWER AS WELL.

Given the circumstances I don't think I have any option but to get a new house.

[Bit of a Unit]

This afternoon has been a nightmare. The TV lounge has a 55in plasma and 5.1 surround sound.

But the regular lounge only has a 47in LED and 2.1 sound but it does have log burner and it is a bit cold.....

I don't know where to settle.....I think I need another log burner

[GTIR]

devnull said:

Don't you have emergency fap material in your head for moment like this?

Tell me more about this material in you head thing?

[The Hitman]

I had to live without the internet for 2 months...I dunno how I survived.

Everything was a haze of confusion, desperation, depression and extreme boredom.....I have to stop there, I just can't think about that period of my life anymore as I can't describe myself as being alive during that time. I just need to look forward and carry on for my loved ones...and the people that didn't make it.

[wolfracesonic]

Bit of a Unit said:

This afternoon has been a nightmare. The TV lounge has a 55in plasma and 5.1 surround sound.

But the regular lounge only has a 47in LED and 2.1 sound but it does have log burner and it is a bit cold.....

I don't know where to settle.....I think I need another log burner

Move the 47'' into the TV lounge, set fire to it to keep warm and watch the 55'' plasma. Don't you get eye strain squinting at a 47'' TV?

[JRewing]

I just went to my safe because I fancied wearing my Omega Constellation this evening.

Then I remembered I've sent it away for servicing. Can I get away with a different Omega or a Rolex?

[Fun Bus]

I've arrived in the office this morning to realise I've left my Mont Blanc at home. I'm having to use a Bic instead.

[GingerWizard]

Fun Bus said:

I've arrived in the office this morning to realise I've left my Mont Blanc at home. I'm having to use a Bic instead.

I take it you are using the bic to open a big artuary and bleed out quickly. FYL!!!

[Stedman]

I desperately want a V10 BMW, but also want to cut my mortgage down by quite a bit. I can only afford to do one at the moment and i'm at the dizzying age of 24. My life sucks.

[Captain Muppet]

wolfracesonic said:

Bit of a Unit said:

This afternoon has been a nightmare. The TV lounge has a 55in plasma and 5.1 surround sound.

But the regular lounge only has a 47in LED and 2.1 sound but it does have log burner and it is a bit cold.....

I don't know where to settle.....I think I need another log burner

Move the 47'' into the TV lounge, set fire to it to keep warm and watch the 55'' plasma. Don't you get eye strain squinting at a 47'' TV?

I thought plasma TVs were just for rooms too small to contain both a TV and a heater.

I use mine to keep the airing cupboard warm, although the signal lags behind my real TV so that while I'm getting a fresh towel out I experience the disconcerting effect of the performance seeming to have been poorly dubbed like an 80's Japanese film. :shudder:

[maximm]

Stedman said:

but also want to cut my mortgage down by quite a bit.

what's a mortgage?

[Stedman]

maximm said:

Stedman said:

but also want to cut my mortgage down by quite a bit.

what's a mortgage?

[Hoofty]

Today I didn't have to go to work because the wife had booked me onto a free barbecue demo/experience. We followed it up with a hearty lunch at a fancy restaurant.

On the way back we stopped at a French food market. They were selling tartiflette, but I was so full I couldn't eat any.

FML.

[Monkeylegend]

My spoon isn't long enough to reach the bottom of my knickerbocker glory.

[foliedouce]

Monkeylegend said:

My spoon isn't long enough to reach the bottom of my knickerbocker glory.

Even worse, they left the wafer (I know, this was an upmarket one which makes it worse) in my knickerbocker glory for far too long and it was soggy AND they gave me jelly beans instead of artisan chocolates with my coffee.

I won't be going back.