Pistonheaders and their First World Problems.
Discussion
My wife is going through a rough patch emotionally at the moment due to late CPD, trying to secure extra shifts, parents marriage breaking down and moving to an area where she has no friends...which meant that I had to talk to her and support her AND reassure her rather than watch Man U getting gubbed on Tuesday and Spurs overcoming the odds last night. She obviously hasn't taken my emotions on board has she? Selfish cow!
ETA - Woops, dont think Im doing this right!
ETA - Woops, dont think Im doing this right!
Edited by Bisonhead on Friday 28th February 14:13
Justayellowbadge said:
Rude-boy said:
I have to go to Wetherspoons because I am so fabulously wealthy my oik friends get insulted if I buy them Veuve all the time, so once a month they get a chance to buy me half a mild.
That would have qualified for the thread all by itself, you know.
Just wouldn't be PH to say that I am one of the poor oiks 
Anyway Veuve? How very gauche!
February only has 28 days, this means i've just had to wind my Rolex forward three whole days to set the date correctly.
THREE WHOLE f
kING DAYS!! Jesus H Titty fking Christ in a sidecar! At the very least I would expect Rolex to send a Minion to take care of this for me.
It's bad enough having to wind it forward when there is only 30 days in a month but three days!? fk this, i'm off to kick some kittens and beat some puppies with a big stick before setting light to a bus full of Nuns such is my rage at this injustice!
THREE WHOLE f
kING DAYS!! Jesus H Titty fking Christ in a sidecar! At the very least I would expect Rolex to send a Minion to take care of this for me.It's bad enough having to wind it forward when there is only 30 days in a month but three days!? f
k this, i'm off to kick some kittens and beat some puppies with a big stick before setting light to a bus full of Nuns such is my rage at this injustice!Rude-boy said:
Went out with the boys for a bite to eat at the local Witherspoons and a few beers.
First issue was that the Free drink that came with my large mixed grill did not include the brand of larger I had been drinking before then and so I had to endure a pint of Tubourg which is not as good, but at least better than Pommie Piss (aka Fosters).
Then the bartender forgot to hit the starters button so our cheesy garlic bread, hot wings, chicken strips and nachos all arrived at the same time as 4 large mixed grills, 3 full racks of ribs and some veggie stuff for our vegetable mate.
Seeing their error the staff took back our mains and cooked them fresh once we had told them we were ready for them (we were by the open pass so were able to check that they were cooked fresh!)
We had just bought another round (the last we had planned) when the manager offered us a free round to say sorry. Not everyone could manage another drink so some of us had to have two.
To cap it all off this morning I am sitting in my office expecting UN WMD inspectors to burst in at any minute due to the noxious gasses that are eminating from my rear and have had to ban my secretary from coming in (meaning I have to walk to her office) for fear of some sort of employee claim about forcing her to work in a dangerous environment.
I may have to take the afternoon off. But I can’t because I am covering for another fee earner who has just gone on holiday for 3 weeks.
I may jump out of my window soon.
Wetherspoons, first world? Debatable. First issue was that the Free drink that came with my large mixed grill did not include the brand of larger I had been drinking before then and so I had to endure a pint of Tubourg which is not as good, but at least better than Pommie Piss (aka Fosters).
Then the bartender forgot to hit the starters button so our cheesy garlic bread, hot wings, chicken strips and nachos all arrived at the same time as 4 large mixed grills, 3 full racks of ribs and some veggie stuff for our vegetable mate.
Seeing their error the staff took back our mains and cooked them fresh once we had told them we were ready for them (we were by the open pass so were able to check that they were cooked fresh!)
We had just bought another round (the last we had planned) when the manager offered us a free round to say sorry. Not everyone could manage another drink so some of us had to have two.
To cap it all off this morning I am sitting in my office expecting UN WMD inspectors to burst in at any minute due to the noxious gasses that are eminating from my rear and have had to ban my secretary from coming in (meaning I have to walk to her office) for fear of some sort of employee claim about forcing her to work in a dangerous environment.
I may have to take the afternoon off. But I can’t because I am covering for another fee earner who has just gone on holiday for 3 weeks.
I may jump out of my window soon.
Cotty said:
loafer123 said:
My power shower pump is broken so I have to use the kid's bathroom in the morning.
FFS.
How do you fit in the kids shower?FFS.
My plumber has now fixed the pump, but not until I had to wait an extra 24 hours for one with a metal impeller. Devastating.
Today it was Mrs SB's turn to cook Sunday dinner (before you ask, staff get Sundays off).
Despite previous protestations, once again the plates arrived cold, yet when I tried to rectify the situation I hit a number of problems:
1. The dinner was already on the plate so I couldn't stick it in the oven.
2. I couldn't warm it in the microwave as the plates are not only too big for the new microwave but also there is metal on them so I can't stick them in there even if it did fit.
3. It turns out the plates were from Next.
FML
So, that leaves me with 3 options. Do I get:
a) new plates
b) new microwave
c) new wife, or
d) all of the above?
Despite previous protestations, once again the plates arrived cold, yet when I tried to rectify the situation I hit a number of problems:
1. The dinner was already on the plate so I couldn't stick it in the oven.
2. I couldn't warm it in the microwave as the plates are not only too big for the new microwave but also there is metal on them so I can't stick them in there even if it did fit.
3. It turns out the plates were from Next.
FML
So, that leaves me with 3 options. Do I get:
a) new plates
b) new microwave
c) new wife, or
d) all of the above?
soxboy said:
Despite previous protestations, once again the plates arrived cold,
Plates should be cold. That way the gravy congeals and you can suck the lumpy bits through your teeth. I may have been raised in a council house.Today's first world issue is that my black whiteboard pen has run out at work, meaning I have to write today's job list in green. Green! How can I get my people motivated when it looks they are being tasked by a 14 year old girl?
Merp said:
897sma said:
I'm trying to book a weekend skiing but because we've left it late I can't get ski in ski out, meaning I'll have to get some sort of minibus or worse still walk with my ski gear to get to a lift, and then have to queue to get up the mountain! Not sure if it's even worth going as I'll have to waste at least 15 minutes of my morning to get on the slopes EVERY DAY. 
Similar problems here my friend, I have to DRIVE to one of the 10 surrounding resorts every weekend!Last year I was boarding for 5-6 hours a day, ski in ski out.
And I broke my board yesterday and the new one doesn't arrive until Tuesday!
Life is so hard.
matthias73 said:
Merp said:
897sma said:
I'm trying to book a weekend skiing but because we've left it late I can't get ski in ski out, meaning I'll have to get some sort of minibus or worse still walk with my ski gear to get to a lift, and then have to queue to get up the mountain! Not sure if it's even worth going as I'll have to waste at least 15 minutes of my morning to get on the slopes EVERY DAY.
Similar problems here my friend, I have to DRIVE to one of the 10 surrounding resorts every weekend!Last year I was boarding for 5-6 hours a day, ski in ski out.
And I broke my board yesterday and the new one doesn't arrive until Tuesday!
Life is so hard.
t. Your situation is abhorrent. Even cuddling 47 Labrador puppies whilst covered in dog milk is leaving me cold. Be strong brother, be strong..........GingerWizard said:
matthias73 said:
Merp said:
897sma said:
I'm trying to book a weekend skiing but because we've left it late I can't get ski in ski out, meaning I'll have to get some sort of minibus or worse still walk with my ski gear to get to a lift, and then have to queue to get up the mountain! Not sure if it's even worth going as I'll have to waste at least 15 minutes of my morning to get on the slopes EVERY DAY.
Similar problems here my friend, I have to DRIVE to one of the 10 surrounding resorts every weekend!Last year I was boarding for 5-6 hours a day, ski in ski out.
And I broke my board yesterday and the new one doesn't arrive until Tuesday!
Life is so hard.
t. Your situation is abhorrent. Even cuddling 47 Labrador puppies whilst covered in dog milk is leaving me cold. Be strong brother, be strong..........Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff