Pistonheaders and their First World Problems.

[Papa Hotel]

Hitch78 said:

This thread is dead.

Not quite yet. We just need some council estate scumbag to come along and tell us that the zip has broken on his Primark jeans.

Then it'll be dead.

[Papa Hotel]

Chim said:

AstonZagato said:

My watchwinder has broken.

Now, when I choose my watch in the morning, I have to reset the time and date.

If they knew what this was like, there'd be documentary film makers camped outside to capture my suffering.

Well, if you had bought a decent battery jobby watch like the rest of us you wouldn't have this problem. Mines is two years in and still going strong.

Chim, his is a First World Problem, yours is a council estate triumph.

[Papa Hotel]

You didn't just kill it, you chopped it up and fed it to pigs then waited until they shat it out and fed the st to dogs then fed the dogs to the pigs.

No underwear? This isn't Newcastle.

[Papa Hotel]

Johnny said:

I'm at work having a reasonably quiet day, watching the sport and drinking tea, and generally being important...

Unfortunately the leggy Czech insists on disturbing my oh so productive day, and sending me pictures of her cleaning.

Allegedly.

I can't work in these condition





She says if she hasn't been a good girl I should probably spank her later.

FML. Obviously.

Am I missing something? How is a commie sending you pictures on a low-res camera phone a First World problem?

Edited for retundo quoting.

Edited by Papa Hotel on Sunday 13th October 14:47

[Papa Hotel]

croyde said:

Think I've chipped a tooth on the buckshot in my Sunday Roast pheasant and all the trimmings. Now worried that the offending ball of lead maybe in the innards of my dishwasher.

Can life get any worse.

Well, yeah.

You're going to have to have the butler fire the gamekeeper. Why he was using buckshot on pheasant is a mystery. Perhaps he got it confused with peasant.

[Papa Hotel]

Ali2202 said:

Thankfully I have staff that spell for me. You should get some too.

It's a pity you haven't got staff who do your grammar.

You should get some of those too.

[Papa Hotel]

driverrob said:

I think Papa Hotel is referring to 'that', which should be 'who'.
Mind you, you both missed putting a comma before 'too'.

I don't think the comma is strictly necessary, I wouldn't pause there in speech so left it out.

[Papa Hotel]

CSully94 said:

Had to decide if I wanted to wear an Armani watch or a Hugo Boss watch to dinner. Life is hard.

I don't think they really care in TGI Friday's mate.

[Papa Hotel]

In defence of airhead, I have an electric blanket too.

It's fking awesome.

[Papa Hotel]

Rude-boy said:

On the other hand Papa H is a self confessed narcissistic psychopath.

Make of that what you will kids

It's true.

It's true. I'm not sure where the electric blanket fits in but I'm pretty sure airhead is highly narcissistic too and I have no doubts that at some point he will flip and do a Raoul Moat.

[Papa Hotel]

Amateurish said:

Oh yeah, love the heated blanket. We have a double blanket with individual controls (three heat settings each). I totally empathise with you forgetting to turn it on, FYL.

Some really snazzy ones have separate zones even within the same side of the bed. You can have your feet nice and toasty, less warm up the body a bit and nice and cool at the top. Ours is just a basic one but it's still fking awesome. Nothing beats getting into a nice warm bed. Unless it was already preheated by Kelly Brook and Charlize Theron having a naked lesbian wrestle. That'd be pretty awesome too but your feet wouldn't be as warm as with an electric blanket.

[Papa Hotel]

Beefmeister said:

Bloody wife used a WET F**KING TEASPOON to serve someone goddam instant coffee, then put it in MY sugar tin.

Now MY sugar has got F**KING INSTANT COFFEE GRANULES IN IT.

F**k. My. Life.

I also have my own sugar for this exact reason. I'm contemplating getting butter just for myself too, I'm getting fed up with people digging into it instead of scraping from the top.

[Papa Hotel]

Spanna said:

I either need a new TV or some HDMI splitter cables.

Well, for starters, they're HDMI inputs. Secondly, a third-rate TV and last-gen consoles do not make this a First World Problem.

Kindly take your developing world problems elsewhere. Begone, pauper.

[Papa Hotel]

I bought a watch from creationwatches last week. They ship by Fedex from Singapore, via China, Kazakhstan, France then distributed around the UK from there. It’s a pleasure tracking the watch as it travels around the world.

Or at least it was. Now they ship by DHL and their tracking is rubbish. When I went to bed last night, the only information was that the watch had left Singapore. When I woke up this morning, it had been loaded into a van in Edinburgh for delivery. I’m getting a new watch delivered today but I was robbed of the simple pleasure of tracking my unnecessary new purchase.

Two days later, I ordered another. No doubt I’ll come home from work on Wednesday afternoon and that watch with have been delivered too.

The starving kids never need to worry about this stuff. “Ooh, I have to guess the time, I sold my family’s Casio watch for a bottle of water and a slice of Hovis.” Well fk you, the wonders of modern technology mean I should be able to track my two frivolous purchases as they jet their way around this planet we all call home. I'm a human being too.

[Papa Hotel]

Watch #1 has arrived, it's a little smaller than I thought, it looks a little small on my man-sized wrists. Millions of skinny African kids don't know how good they have it.

[Papa Hotel]

Allaloneatron said:

This morning I had to deal with two sets of temporary traffic lights both where gas, non-emergency, work was being done. This added 10 mins to my journey time which is 20 mins per day or 100 mins a week. Just me.

This afternoon I wandered out of my town centre office to get a sandwich and right outside the traffic light people are out in force installing yet another set of temporary lights, 4 way, which is going to cause havoc this evening and tomorrow morning. The work is set to last for the rest of the week after the Council replied to a tweet I sent.

Now, in order to avoid this chaos which we all hate why don't the utilities, out of courtesy do the work outside peak times or if they are unwilling why don't Councils (assuming they can) insist that they do?

You should make a st thread about this.

[Papa Hotel]

Blown2CV said:

well you wouldn't have been, but then you said draw instead of drawer.

Wots went with that I keep my pants and sox in the same draw in my Chester draws.

[Papa Hotel]

Usget said:

Look, since when was this the "kick a man when he's down thread"? The Samaritans have got enough to deal with, you know.

Agreed. He's poured his heart out here, he doesn't need these extra burdens placed upon him. Show some sympathy for his plight instead of making it worse.

Thanks guys, I knew you'd understand.

[Papa Hotel]

Lazygraduate said:

Bought some new shirts the other day. Upon opening one from its packaging, I realised that it has button cuffs.

Wrong thread.

[Papa Hotel]

GTIR said:

The wind has blown my ariel 180 degrees.

That's ok, just reverse it out.