Foster care

Author
Discussion

lemonoo7

109 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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This has been an interesting read. We are going to an open evening with a local foster care agency, it's a week on Monday. We are both full time support workers and have decided to look into foster care. That post by Pagey was a really good post, thank you for sharing.

vx220

2,689 posts

233 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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Found out today our emergency placement will be off this Friday, unfortunately he'll be going to a residential unit, deemed too extreme for fostering.
We're seeing our previous placement again next week, looking forward to that...

lemonoo7

109 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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vx220 said:
Found out today our emergency placement will be off this Friday, unfortunately he'll be going to a residential unit, deemed too extreme for fostering.
We're seeing our previous placement again next week, looking forward to that...
Do you have periods with no foster children? Like between placements. It must be odd to have a full on child and go to nothing.

vx220

2,689 posts

233 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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lemonoo7 said:
Do you have periods with no foster children? Like between placements. It must be odd to have a full on child and go to nothing.
We're just doing respite and on-call for other carers atm, so we can go quite long periods without. Wife works for NHS and I work in our school (for excluded kids) and doing various support roles including trying to promote fostering and signing up new carers.

I believe most agencies pay a "retainer" between placements, varies from a week to a month from speaking to other carers.

I hate seeing placements end, it's obviously hard for all concerned but to see someone who can't help but destroy something they dearly want and need, who just can't back down and follow some good advice is heartbreaking. The one I dealt with around March has gone on to better things, he has really gelled in his new placement, and is thriving. The one I have here just seems to be sliding further and further down the spiral. More PPP? Mental health issues? Both!? Like so many of them he cannot back away, forget apologising or recovery, until he just about collapses from exhaustion he keeps going...

I don't want to put anyone off, there are amazing stories out there, but it is tough. But I love what I'm doing! And someone's got to do it!

If you're in or around Essex, and interested, let me know? I'm not on commission!

lemonoo7

109 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
vx220 said:
We're just doing respite and on-call for other carers atm, so we can go quite long periods without. Wife works for NHS and I work in our school (for excluded kids) and doing various support roles including trying to promote fostering and signing up new carers.

I believe most agencies pay a "retainer" between placements, varies from a week to a month from speaking to other carers.

I hate seeing placements end, it's obviously hard for all concerned but to see someone who can't help but destroy something they dearly want and need, who just can't back down and follow some good advice is heartbreaking. The one I dealt with around March has gone on to better things, he has really gelled in his new placement, and is thriving. The one I have here just seems to be sliding further and further down the spiral. More PPP? Mental health issues? Both!? Like so many of them he cannot back away, forget apologising or recovery, until he just about collapses from exhaustion he keeps going...

I don't want to put anyone off, there are amazing stories out there, but it is tough. But I love what I'm doing! And someone's got to do it!

If you're in or around Essex, and interested, let me know? I'm not on commission!
Thank you for the information. There seems an awful lot to take in.

We live in Northamptonshire unfortunately. We've contacted one agency that seems to have a good reputation, we are going to speak to a few agencies and go from there. If it's anything like the private care sector there seems to be good and bad agencies.

We are both in care at the moment and have worked with children with autism, mental health issues, life limiting conditions etc. we are going into this with our eyes wide open. A couple of people we've meet through our jobs have fostered then adopted a child each. They've been very open about how challenging it can be.

I've mentioned the agency we are seeing shortly to the two people who we know that have fostered, they both have said they're very good. So here's hoping. We've spoken about doing this before but it wasn't the right time.

One of the reasons we're considering this is that, we are both in care and some of the carers we meet are appalling. I go to work and try my best to give that person the best day I can and the best care I can give, go and work with another client for a few days, go back to the first client and all that I've done for that person is undone by piss poor carers not giving a crap, wanting as much money as possible for the least amount of work. It's quite disheartening.

Thank you for your time vx220, it's good to hear opinions and facts from people that are actually doing it.



Edited by lemonoo7 on Tuesday 11th August 23:20

vx220

2,689 posts

233 months

Wednesday 12th August 2015
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Good luck, lemon007

You sound like you're approaching it from a great angle, hope you find a good agency, and most importantly a good match!

If you can, take your time with the profiles, have a good read and ask questions. Try to do some support work and respite with the YP. Of course, with some placements the chance for this doesn't arrive!

If I can be of any help, let me know?

Matt_N

8,900 posts

201 months

Wednesday 12th August 2015
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Pagey said:
Stuff
The most heart wrenching and heart warming thing I've ever read on here.

Your father sounds like the true meaning of the word father and has installed the best values in you and I'm sure you will to your lad.

lemonoo7

109 posts

150 months

Wednesday 12th August 2015
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vx220 said:
Good luck, lemon007

You sound like you're approaching it from a great angle, hope you find a good agency, and most importantly a good match!

If you can, take your time with the profiles, have a good read and ask questions. Try to do some support work and respite with the YP. Of course, with some placements the chance for this doesn't arrive!

If I can be of any help, let me know?
Thanks I may take you up on that offer after the open evening.

vx220

2,689 posts

233 months

Wednesday 12th August 2015
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lemonoo7 said:
vx220 said:
Good luck, lemon007

You sound like you're approaching it from a great angle, hope you find a good agency, and most importantly a good match!

If you can, take your time with the profiles, have a good read and ask questions. Try to do some support work and respite with the YP. Of course, with some placements the chance for this doesn't arrive!

If I can be of any help, let me know?
Thanks I may take you up on that offer after the open evening.
Of course, happy to.

If you were more local, you could pop round now and help me out! We're repeating Monday night atm, it's MrsVX turn at the moment upstairs, he's attempting to kick our bedroom door in (why he doesn't just turn the handle and go in like anyone else is beyond both of us!)

While he's leaving me alone, I'm PHing (and listening, of course) bit it will soon be my turn!

PPP again!

I'm OK, my day tomorrow is with him, so he'll now sleep in late (so can I) but MrsVX is up at 05:00! and normally goes to bed at 20:30...

Off now, sounds like tiny angel feet coming down the stairs, my turn!

vx220

2,689 posts

233 months

Friday 14th August 2015
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...and just like that, he's gone. Back to my quiet life. sw came and picked him up to take him to new placement. A small "thank you" and "sorry" and "tell MrsVX I love her" and then he was off...

I waved goodbye from the window, but the lure of the DS was strong, he was head down in the backseat before they were off the driveway

So, weekend off then back to the outings and camping with the boys from school next week. On call next week as well.

lemonoo7

109 posts

150 months

Friday 14th August 2015
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vx220 said:
...and just like that, he's gone. Back to my quiet life. sw came and picked him up to take him to new placement. A small "thank you" and "sorry" and "tell MrsVX I love her" and then he was off...

I waved goodbye from the window, but the lure of the DS was strong, he was head down in the backseat before they were off the driveway

So, weekend off then back to the outings and camping with the boys from school next week. On call next week as well.
Aww bless him, I bet him saying thank you makes it all worth it.

lemonoo7

109 posts

150 months

Tuesday 25th August 2015
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We had an open evening with a foster agency last night. It was interesting, but they seemed to push what incentives they offer, instead of saying what it's really like fostering. I was hoping there would be actual foster carers there so they could talk about their personal experiences. The two ladies doing the presentation have fostered through this agency before working for them, I felt maybe their opinions on the agency were biased. I like the idea of fostering but not sure on this agency. We'll see.

g35x

93 posts

182 months

Tuesday 25th August 2015
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vx220 said:
Pagey, it's dusty here as well!

A really good read, keep up the good work!
+1

bramley

1,670 posts

207 months

Tuesday 25th August 2015
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Wow. Amazing stories in this thread. I have enormous respect for those that choose to get involved rather than turn a blind eye.

vx220

2,689 posts

233 months

Tuesday 25th August 2015
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lemonoo7 said:
We had an open evening with a foster agency last night. It was interesting, but they seemed to push what incentives they offer, instead of saying what it's really like fostering. I was hoping there would be actual foster carers there so they could talk about their personal experiences. The two ladies doing the presentation have fostered through this agency before working for them, I felt maybe their opinions on the agency were biased. I like the idea of fostering but not sure on this agency. We'll see.
We always have a current carer on hand during our opening meetings (I've done it once, while we were struggling a bit with our placement, not a dry eye in the house!)

It's a growth industry (unfortunately) so find one you're comfortable with. AFAIK the finances are pretty similar all round, so phone a few, or see if there are any other open days. The support will be most important.

We've been offered a possible placement, today. Interesting times ahead!!!

Good luck


lemonoo7

109 posts

150 months

Tuesday 25th August 2015
quotequote all
vx220 said:
We always have a current carer on hand during our opening meetings (I've done it once, while we were struggling a bit with our placement, not a dry eye in the house!)

It's a growth industry (unfortunately) so find one you're comfortable with. AFAIK the finances are pretty similar all round, so phone a few, or see if there are any other open days. The support will be most important.

We've been offered a possible placement, today. Interesting times ahead!!!

Good luck
Thanks, it was an interesting evening and a big diversity of people applying. This agency may be good but they didn't come across very well. I spoke to a foster carer yesterday that's friends with my partner. She gave us a very good insight in to it, but she said that her agency are rubbish and that the one we went too have a very good reputation. So we are going to ring round a few agencies and try to book some open days/evenings.

Good luck with your possible placement, and thanks for the guidance.

NoNeed

15,137 posts

199 months

Tuesday 25th August 2015
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Just wanted to say thank you to pagey for sharing.




I was going to mention a colleague who with his wife does short term fostering which often means fetching kids from police station and dodgy situations in the middle of the night which I am told is financially rewarding but has some massive downsides like seeing the total stholes kids live in and then having to drop them back there.

I couldn't

vx220

2,689 posts

233 months

Wednesday 26th August 2015
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NoNeed said:
massive downsides like seeing the total stholes kids live in and then having to drop them back there.

I couldn't
Surprising how many of these kids come into a foster carers home and say "you've got a really small TV" as Mum and Dad will have a cheapo 65" TV, but couldn't remember to feed the poor little kid, or clothe them, or say "well done" or "I love you" or not try and strangle them.

MrsVX has been into houses (in a non-fostering role) where she has noticed a massive TV with surround sound, but had to "wipe her feet on the way out"

Did I mention I HATE "contact"!!!

vx220

2,689 posts

233 months

Monday 14th September 2015
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Not been on for a while, but looks like we have a new placement coming soon! An older lad, this time. Wish us luck!

Pagey

1,372 posts

233 months

Monday 14th September 2015
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Good Luck thumbup