You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

[pods]

monthefish said:

Have you seen Shallow Grave?

I supplied the van to Arnold Clark(Ronnie Clark) for this film.
They supplied me with a brand new transit for the duration of filming plus a payment for the use.
They also serviced it,stuck on new tyres and sorted a couple of bits of bodywork that had damage.
Really did not want to swap back at the end but they insisted (4 or 5 times.
Memories.....

[FunkyNige]

Greg_D said:

HMRC, as always, will be the problem here. All of the above suggestions are valid, but if you were ever investigated, you would be screwed, how do you maintain this lifestyle mr bloggs? your entire monthly pay cheque goes into this savings account and you are driving around in nice (but not lavish) cars, have jewellery, nice clothes and several sunny stamps in your passport/year. it would get awkward very quickly.

What would happen if you told the HMRC you found the money in a suitcase? Sure, you'd get investigated but no crime has been committed (has it?).

[Wacky Racer]

AudiSport said:

B17NNS said:

Out of interest how do criminals legitimise large sums of cash?

Hand car wash seems the current business model.

So, can someone explain how this "works".......

Keeping it as simple as possible please......

[MajorProblem]

I wash your car, you give me a tenner, I give you a 'dodgy' fiver in change.

Rinse and repeat.

[Chas88]

I'd hand the suitcase with the £10,000 that I'd found to the police.

[Axionknight]

Wacky Racer said:

So, can someone explain how this "works".......

Keeping it as simple as possible please......

It is essentially a cash business, so the money can be put through the till as takings and declared as income to HMRC, you pay tax on it yes, after deducting business expenses, but the money is then "legit" as it is seen as profit from a business.

[williamp]

FunkyNige said:

Greg_D said:

HMRC, as always, will be the problem here. All of the above suggestions are valid, but if you were ever investigated, you would be screwed, how do you maintain this lifestyle mr bloggs? your entire monthly pay cheque goes into this savings account and you are driving around in nice (but not lavish) cars, have jewellery, nice clothes and several sunny stamps in your passport/year. it would get awkward very quickly.

What would happen if you told the HMRC you found the money in a suitcase? Sure, you'd get investigated but no crime has been committed (has it?).

They would inform the police and they would investigate it on your behalf. It wont be like the end of "the ladykillers"

[BJG1]

Greg_D said:

you are only allowed to take £10k in cash through an airport, they have sniffer dogs as well that are trained to sniff muchos cash. It's surprisingly difficult to get it across borders unless you go for a big hit. You would still just be wasting it.

10k buys a lot of coke and wes in Thailand

[rambo19]

Go to casino with £10000, change into chips, spend/ lose £1000 with chips, cash in chips and ask for a cheque.

[R666]

Keep it

[Amirhussain]

Probably;

• Hand it in to the police, I read somewhere that if no one claims it in a certain period of time, they contact you and ask you of you want it instead, probably bks though, and even if true, doubt they would with a million pounds.

• Launder it, chip shop, gym, car wash etc.

• Invest some of it e.g. gold, shares in company etc.

• Spend it, not all of course but a bit more than usual on stuff such as clothes, jewelry, cars etc.

[Justaredbadge]

Buy that widow maker Mustang in the classifieds.

[Itsallicanafford]

....sounds to me like having a million pounds in cash would make my life harder, more complicated and potentially much more dangerous for my family....I wouldn't even touch it, walk away and let somebody else have the hassle and worry. sleep soundly at night and read about some other bloke turning up in the Thames in an apparently motiveless murder...

[Slobberchops]

MajorProblem said:

I'd be able to afford a Porsche 911 from Specialist cars of Malton or an M3 CSL from Hexagon but probably not both.

Edited by MajorProblem on Thursday 31st October 15:34

It'd have to be a 3.4 996 to afford one from there.

[Du1point8]

To be honest if you handed it in to the police...

If that suitcase had anything on it that could be traced to any crime, even if it was one note that was in a bank robbery or a smidge of coke, it would be confisicated and you would never see it.

How many times have the police actually given out a large sum of cash like that back to the finder without them 'finding' something dodgy about the money or interogated the finder so much they wish they had just burned the thing.

[KFC]

mikial said:

A sensible post at last, as for the "tools " that hand it to the police , they are the ones that sleep soundly with no remorse or worrying about the outcome if you keep the loot.

Does anybody serious think that a million quid in a suitcase is a good thing to keep , if the answer is yes then you know nothing of the world you live in and need to move back to your parents for further instruction .

Filthy lucre !!

If you didn't tell anyone you had it, wheres the risk? I think I'd just stick it up the loft and forget about it for 10 years.

The people saying keep most of it and hand the rest in the cops are the silly ones - all you'd be doing is linking your name to the finding of the cash, and letting the true owner know who pinched all his drug money

[hedgefinder]

New POD said:

Tesco value.

would just leave it.. I have a reputation to uphold.. now if it were a reinforced Ikea bag...

[BrettMRC]

Must be a small suitcase for only a £1million in cash?


All money is traceable in the end...

For all you budding launderers out there, the first step would be to open a cash based business (Placement) - lets go for a black cab company... that way the sums of cash you pay in could be legitamised to a certain extent. (And you can ignore the congenstion charge)

The rest I leave up to you fine gentlemen - me fee is 10%.


I may have spent far too many years dealing with this AML crap - all I know is that I would never bother to try and launder the cash in this country, nor any other with a decent financial system. That then leaves you with the issue of trying to smuggle the cash out of the country etc etc...


Nah - I think I would probably assume it a honeytrap and walk away. (Whilst regretting it everyday)

[AyBee]

I'd wonder where the other million I'd put in the suitcase had gone

mrmr96 said:

cirian75 said:

a cool mill?

well there is no way that is legal

Indeed. The kind of person who has £1m in a suitcase and then loses it is not going to be the kind of person who's going to report the loss to the police. They are also not the kind of person who'll think much of killing you to retrieve it. They would also be unlikely to thank you for handing it in.

Those factors would probably feature strongly within my thinking:
No good having £1m but getting murdered for it.
No good handing £1m in but getting murdered for it.

You hand it in and the owner isn't going to pop into the cop-shop to ask for it back so then it legally becomes yours? How is the original owner going to know you have it?

[KFC]

This thread would have been better if it said what would you do if you won £1m on a scratch card.