You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

Author
Discussion

creampuff

6,511 posts

143 months

Friday 15th November 2013
quotequote all
My primary concern would be where did it come from - for practical reasons: if it used to belong to some Russian mafia, then them finding out someone else had it and was now spending it could be problematic for said person.

Therefore I may hand it over to the cops, but get a reciept then if nobody claims it in 3 months or whatever it is, it is mine.

Alexandre MX

299 posts

128 months

Friday 15th November 2013
quotequote all
creampuff said:
My primary concern would be where did it come from - for practical reasons: if it used to belong to some Russian mafia, then them finding out someone else had it and was now spending it could be problematic for said person.

Therefore I may hand it over to the cops, but get a reciept then if nobody claims it in 3 months or whatever it is, it is mine.
What could be worst? Angry Russian mobsters or International Criminal Court´s agents?

jofanon

185 posts

211 months

Friday 15th November 2013
quotequote all
Step 1 - get rid of suitcase
Step 2 - store the cash secretly somewhere away from my home for 3 months. Need to make sure the cash has no tracer and that no one saw me take the suit case away
Step 3 - launder (use Saul maybe?. Overpay mortgage by paying for everyday items in cash. When enough take equity out to buy a 2nd home (that needs refurb), pay workmen in cash. Sell primary home. Move into 2nd.
Step 4 - Find new home (sell 2nd). All cash now washed and no tax paid.
Step 5 - enjoy £1m of untaxed, washed money

Alexandre MX

299 posts

128 months

Friday 15th November 2013
quotequote all
jofanon said:
Step 1 - get rid of suitcase
Step 2 - store the cash secretly somewhere away from my home for 3 months. Need to make sure the cash has no tracer and that no one saw me take the suit case away
Step 3 - launder (use Saul maybe?. Overpay mortgage by paying for everyday items in cash. When enough take equity out to buy a 2nd home (that needs refurb), pay workmen in cash. Sell primary home. Move into 2nd.
Step 4 - Find new home (sell 2nd). All cash now washed and no tax paid.
Step 5 - enjoy £1m of untaxed, washed money
Between Step 3 and Step 4 - Beware of the HMRC.

JVaughan

6,025 posts

283 months

Friday 15th November 2013
quotequote all
Kiddies softplay center. Lease a large warehouse, lease the equipment.
These places rake in the cash .. for a £100,000 startup, you can pull £300,000 - £400,000 a year. Add meals and drinks and kiddies rides into that equation and you could launder the lot within 3 years and pay the lease costs on the equipment so you owned it outright, and pay staff and have an audit trail for HMRC.

eg. most places charge between £3 and £5 for 90 minutes per child for play. (the wetter and colder the weather,m the more these places become magnets for families and childminders looking to let little johnny play).
lets say the average family goes there, 2 kids and has a meal / snack.. your looking at £20.
now add the possibility of there being over 300 kids there over a 10 hour period ..

Even accounting for quiet times, if your open for 365 days, then your looking to profit to the tune of about £3 million.... By making up attendees and injecting the "found cash" in at quiet times, your far more likely to make it transparent to HMRC .. plus you have a successful buisness, your own equipment and £1million laundered and payed back to yourself as dividends / salary

markmullen

15,877 posts

234 months

Friday 15th November 2013
quotequote all
JVaughan said:
Kiddies softplay center. Lease a large warehouse, lease the equipment.
These places rake in the cash .. for a £100,000 startup, you can pull £300,000 - £400,000 a year. Add meals and drinks and kiddies rides into that equation and you could launder the lot within 3 years and pay the lease costs on the equipment so you owned it outright, and pay staff and have an audit trail for HMRC.

eg. most places charge between £3 and £5 for 90 minutes per child for play. (the wetter and colder the weather,m the more these places become magnets for families and childminders looking to let little johnny play).
lets say the average family goes there, 2 kids and has a meal / snack.. your looking at £20.
now add the possibility of there being over 300 kids there over a 10 hour period ..

Even accounting for quiet times, if your open for 365 days, then your looking to profit to the tune of about £3 million.... By making up attendees and injecting the "found cash" in at quiet times, your far more likely to make it transparent to HMRC .. plus you have a successful buisness, your own equipment and £1million laundered and payed back to yourself as dividends / salary
I think I'd rather K Foundation it than have to spend my life around a mass of bored children.

JVaughan

6,025 posts

283 months

Friday 15th November 2013
quotequote all
but as the owner, you would be in the south of France on a beach while your "manager" runs the place.

rpla102

333 posts

221 months

Tuesday 19th November 2013
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Well someone found 60k in the river.....

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2510074/Finders-k...

paulwirral

3,140 posts

135 months

Tuesday 19th November 2013
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Say nothing and never mention it on piston heads ever , sorted !

WEHGuy

1,347 posts

173 months

DaveH23

3,236 posts

170 months

Wednesday 20th November 2013
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1. Walk in to a Casino
2. Buy 1 Million Pounds worth of chips
3. Spend up to around £100,000 lining the casino's pockets
4. Cash out £900,000 left over
5. Walk to bank with a nice cheque for your casino winnings
6. Let it earn a little interest
7. Blow the lot on coke and hookers


Perec

26,288 posts

222 months

Wednesday 20th November 2013
quotequote all
DaveH23 said:
1. Walk in to a Casino
2. Buy 1 Million Pounds worth of chips
3. Spend up to around £100,000 lining the casino's pockets
4. Cash out £900,000 left over
5. Walk to bank with a nice cheque for your casino winnings
6. Let it earn a little interest
7. Blow the lot on coke and hookers
You don't think the casino might spot this cunning plan? Casinos are not interested in laundering your money for you. I am sure Casinos launder plenty of dirty money, but not on behalf of random numpties who happen across a suitcase full of cash and rock up with it hoping to turn it into clean cash for a modest 10% commission.


DaveH23

3,236 posts

170 months

Wednesday 20th November 2013
quotequote all
Perec said:
DaveH23 said:
1. Walk in to a Casino
2. Buy 1 Million Pounds worth of chips
3. Spend up to around £100,000 lining the casino's pockets
4. Cash out £900,000 left over
5. Walk to bank with a nice cheque for your casino winnings
6. Let it earn a little interest
7. Blow the lot on coke and hookers
You don't think the casino might spot this cunning plan? Casinos are not interested in laundering your money for you. I am sure Casinos launder plenty of dirty money, but not on behalf of random numpties who happen across a suitcase full of cash and rock up with it hoping to turn it into clean cash for a modest 10% commission.
You do realise this thread is a little tounge in cheek?

Dangerous Dan

624 posts

171 months

Wednesday 20th November 2013
quotequote all
Motorrad said:
Burn it and make a video about it.
This.

Perec

26,288 posts

222 months

Wednesday 20th November 2013
quotequote all
Dangerous Dan said:
Motorrad said:
Burn it and make a video about it.
This.
Absolutely. The KLF did this and as a result went on to great success including... erm... being able to brag in the pub about having burnt a million quid. Whilst scrounging a pint.

Pennykessler09

1 posts

126 months

Wednesday 20th November 2013
quotequote all
As I am fond of diamonds, I would certainly get a lot of diamond stud earrings, diamond pendants, necklace, solitaire rings , everything that has diamond in it. :-D
Moreover, if someone coulld gift me that, I would be ready to marry him smile

robsa

2,260 posts

184 months

Wednesday 20th November 2013
quotequote all
Perec said:
Dangerous Dan said:
Motorrad said:
Burn it and make a video about it.
This.
Absolutely. The KLF did this and as a result went on to great success including... erm... being able to brag in the pub about having burnt a million quid. Whilst scrounging a pint.
Bill Drummond later said he regretted it as it practically wrecked his life and ended his marriage..... still, Drummond's a genius.

Adam B

27,251 posts

254 months

Wednesday 20th November 2013
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djt100 said:
Keep it, whats the limit you can put in a bank a day without the tax man looking into £5k or sometihng... daily deposits. Then pay off the mortgage
AML is £10k, or regular amounts under that, eg £5k cash per week smile

AJS-

15,366 posts

236 months

Thursday 21st November 2013
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Take and enjoy it without guilt. It was probably gained and lost in some nefarious way and it's a less than once in a lifetime chance, so take it.

Completely different to finding someone's phone or wallet or something, which I would unquestioningly return.

rossybee

931 posts

257 months

Saturday 17th January 2015
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toastybase said:
Take it, drive up to dundee for a couple of weeks
Why Dundee?