You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do
Discussion
hairyben said:
JVaughan said:
Kiddies softplay center. Lease a large warehouse, lease the equipment.
These places rake in the cash .. for a £100,000 startup, you can pull £300,000 - £400,000 a year. Add meals and drinks and kiddies rides into that equation and you could launder the lot within 3 years and pay the lease costs on the equipment so you owned it outright, and pay staff and have an audit trail for HMRC.
eg. most places charge between £3 and £5 for 90 minutes per child for play. (the wetter and colder the weather,m the more these places become magnets for families and childminders looking to let little johnny play).
lets say the average family goes there, 2 kids and has a meal / snack.. your looking at £20.
now add the possibility of there being over 300 kids there over a 10 hour period ..
Even accounting for quiet times, if your open for 365 days, then your looking to profit to the tune of about £3 million.... By making up attendees and injecting the "found cash" in at quiet times, your far more likely to make it transparent to HMRC .. plus you have a successful buisness, your own equipment and £1million laundered and payed back to yourself as dividends / salary
This is one of the best ideas, any business that banks reasonably large amounts of cash that you can bolster but small enough to manage by yourself avoiding involving anyone else who's in on the scam, there's a reason that clubs, car dealers etc have the image they do. Best plan would probably be to start or buy an existing biz via large mortgage and feed the money in over a few years, then cash in the now very successful biz and retire on your legitimate cash.These places rake in the cash .. for a £100,000 startup, you can pull £300,000 - £400,000 a year. Add meals and drinks and kiddies rides into that equation and you could launder the lot within 3 years and pay the lease costs on the equipment so you owned it outright, and pay staff and have an audit trail for HMRC.
eg. most places charge between £3 and £5 for 90 minutes per child for play. (the wetter and colder the weather,m the more these places become magnets for families and childminders looking to let little johnny play).
lets say the average family goes there, 2 kids and has a meal / snack.. your looking at £20.
now add the possibility of there being over 300 kids there over a 10 hour period ..
Even accounting for quiet times, if your open for 365 days, then your looking to profit to the tune of about £3 million.... By making up attendees and injecting the "found cash" in at quiet times, your far more likely to make it transparent to HMRC .. plus you have a successful buisness, your own equipment and £1million laundered and payed back to yourself as dividends / salary
Eleven said:
How bothered is HMRC about hooky cash?
I am guessing not very unless they KNOW its dodgy.
HMRC would be the ones most likely to investigate suspect spending patterns and challenge you over it, at which point game over, even if they themselves aren't actually being defrauded. proving to them you found it would be like clearing yourself of an accusation of murder someone by revealing the victim with 20 others tied up in your basement.I am guessing not very unless they KNOW its dodgy.
how about buying as much art, antiques, old jewellry etc as you can for cash at various markets, small dealers etc, then selling it all at auction, claiming you'd had the collection of stuff for years, picked it all up cheap ages ago
or I become a painter, daub some canvasses
gradually I become more and more successful, 'selling' my pictures for increasing sums of hard cash to unnamed buyers
or I become a painter, daub some canvasses
gradually I become more and more successful, 'selling' my pictures for increasing sums of hard cash to unnamed buyers
Flip Martian said:
Then I'd use it to top up my daily spending. New clothes more regularly. Eat out in different places more regularly. Always pay cash at the supermarket.
That is what I'd do, unfortunately you can't just walk into an estate agent and buy a house with that much cash; without generating suspicion and the involvement of the Police, the same with purchasing a car too.Hugo a Gogo said:
how about buying as much art, antiques, old jewellry etc as you can for cash at various markets, small dealers etc, then selling it all at auction, claiming you'd had the collection of stuff for years, picked it all up cheap ages ago
or I become a painter, daub some canvasses
gradually I become more and more successful, 'selling' my pictures for increasing sums of hard cash to unnamed buyers
Buying them privately and overpaying slightly perhaps, to keep the owner happy/quiet.or I become a painter, daub some canvasses
gradually I become more and more successful, 'selling' my pictures for increasing sums of hard cash to unnamed buyers
Antiques world is small and you risk things being recognised and questions asked.
Setting up a "barn find" is another if you can source some cars kept under wraps for a long time that their ownership is unclear, but again, you're involving other people, relying on their silence, and it's all a bit more complex and likely to go wrong. And people with valuable cars in storage probably have bigger things to concern themselves with than getting in bed with your scam.
Both might have a better chance of being unchallenged if the stuff was bought abroad but then you have to get them past customs etc.
Flip Martian said:
That would be the other thing then. Have a few quid stashed about your person or luggage and spend it overseas? Repeated holidays abroad? If you had a few thousand in 50s in a wallet, that would be doable? I've never had my wallet looked at at an airport.
They would see it on the security scan and ask you.Anymore than £10k would need to be declared.
HTP99 said:
Flip Martian said:
Then I'd use it to top up my daily spending. New clothes more regularly. Eat out in different places more regularly. Always pay cash at the supermarket.
That is what I'd do, unfortunately you can't just walk into an estate agent and buy a house with that much cash; without generating suspicion and the involvement of the Police, the same with purchasing a car too.Du1point8 said:
Flip Martian said:
That would be the other thing then. Have a few quid stashed about your person or luggage and spend it overseas? Repeated holidays abroad? If you had a few thousand in 50s in a wallet, that would be doable? I've never had my wallet looked at at an airport.
They would see it on the security scan and ask you.Anymore than £10k would need to be declared.
When no large sums were found, the police said their dog must have smelled our pet dog on our cases. I didn't entirely believe him.
Talksteer said:
Plus if every week you spent £1000 on getting a fitter woman than you've ever pulled to do things that you've never managed to convince any real women to do is unlikely to lead to long term happiness......
I think that could lead to enough short term happiness I wouldn't care 
DannyScene said:
HTP99 said:
Flip Martian said:
Then I'd use it to top up my daily spending. New clothes more regularly. Eat out in different places more regularly. Always pay cash at the supermarket.
That is what I'd do, unfortunately you can't just walk into an estate agent and buy a house with that much cash; without generating suspicion and the involvement of the Police, the same with purchasing a car too.
You don't pay the agent for a house, you need a dodgy solicitor, they deal with the money flow and AML paperwork. And I would imagine their client money accounts are subject to extra scrutiny for this reason.
Edited by Adam B on Monday 26th January 11:39
I guess the the key to getting away with it is to stay under HMRC and the villains radar.
Firstly after checking that there was no tracking on the cash and swapping it into another suitcase, I'd rent out one of those self storage units to hide the cash in along with the contents of my loft to lie low for a while: these places are full of old junk and another room of junk and an old suitcase is unlikely to raise any eyebrows.
Loft/house extension, paying what you can in cash, say 50k?
I would then take a couple of weeks off work on the pretext of doing some diy at home and travel the country (having left my debit & credit cards at home, so there would be less to track me by in case they came sniffing at some point in the future) buying all the antique jewellery I could. Let's say you manage to spend 15k a day in different shops (210k plus expenses). Do this a couple of times = £420k. Right you've now sorted the money going out of date issue for at least part of the sum. Now, how to convert into legitimate cash?
Option 1: Wait until an elderly relative passes away, you can claim that this Cartier diamond ring etc belonged to dear old granny.
Option 2: Pretend to having an interest in buying jewellery at car boot sales: it's on the antiques roadshow every week: I bought this old box of 'costume' jewellery from one of the stalls at xyz boot sale. I'm amazed to learn that it's worth £400k! No receipt as I only paid £10 for the lot!
Continue to buy your basic groceries and minimum daily essentials by card: a quick check by HMRC would show normal activity of sorts. Buy your alcohol and luxuries from another shop paid for in cash. I reckon you could spend £300 a week at your local waitrose on luxury food & booze for the family? That's £15k a year.
Buy an old musical instrument at a more 'understanding' shop. Some of them are worth a bloody fortune. Wait a few years. Sell, claiming it's an old family treasure or that you bought it at a house clearance auction. Another £100k gone!
That lot would keep you busy for a while and shouldn't arouse too much suspicion I'd hope!
Firstly after checking that there was no tracking on the cash and swapping it into another suitcase, I'd rent out one of those self storage units to hide the cash in along with the contents of my loft to lie low for a while: these places are full of old junk and another room of junk and an old suitcase is unlikely to raise any eyebrows.
Loft/house extension, paying what you can in cash, say 50k?
I would then take a couple of weeks off work on the pretext of doing some diy at home and travel the country (having left my debit & credit cards at home, so there would be less to track me by in case they came sniffing at some point in the future) buying all the antique jewellery I could. Let's say you manage to spend 15k a day in different shops (210k plus expenses). Do this a couple of times = £420k. Right you've now sorted the money going out of date issue for at least part of the sum. Now, how to convert into legitimate cash?
Option 1: Wait until an elderly relative passes away, you can claim that this Cartier diamond ring etc belonged to dear old granny.
Option 2: Pretend to having an interest in buying jewellery at car boot sales: it's on the antiques roadshow every week: I bought this old box of 'costume' jewellery from one of the stalls at xyz boot sale. I'm amazed to learn that it's worth £400k! No receipt as I only paid £10 for the lot!
Continue to buy your basic groceries and minimum daily essentials by card: a quick check by HMRC would show normal activity of sorts. Buy your alcohol and luxuries from another shop paid for in cash. I reckon you could spend £300 a week at your local waitrose on luxury food & booze for the family? That's £15k a year.
Buy an old musical instrument at a more 'understanding' shop. Some of them are worth a bloody fortune. Wait a few years. Sell, claiming it's an old family treasure or that you bought it at a house clearance auction. Another £100k gone!
That lot would keep you busy for a while and shouldn't arouse too much suspicion I'd hope!
Du1point8 said:
Flip Martian said:
That would be the other thing then. Have a few quid stashed about your person or luggage and spend it overseas? Repeated holidays abroad? If you had a few thousand in 50s in a wallet, that would be doable? I've never had my wallet looked at at an airport.
They would see it on the security scan and ask you.Anymore than £10k would need to be declared.
very nice portable equivalent of a GBP500 note.
Buy a few nice expensive watches with a good resale value ...
Some diamonds loose in pocket... etc etc ...
all nice easy and portable ....
few trips out to SE Asia and Robert is your mothers brother ...
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