You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

[SimonV8ster]

But it does catch people. Saw the program on Heathrow and a little Indian chap was caught trying to take 15k out. Said it was just his money/savings,etc, asked what he did he said 'Indian Take Away', they asked him about his turnover, first he said 7 or 8K then realised he would have to have saved for years for the money he had and he had only been open 2 years. Changed his story to 25K turnover a year, they phoned the tax man and he had only said his earnings were 12K or so.

Took the money off him as he owed a load of back tax - busted !!

[RobinBanks]

Greg_D said:

but it doesn't, does it? it just annoys people with a few quid

Let's take an entirely fictitious scenario - So let's say someone were to take £20k of legitimate funds from a uk bank and put it in the safe at home, go on hols with the receipt from the bank but not the money, 'find' £20k whilst on hols and return with it and the receipt (having not bought the jewellery they were intent on getting, officer) what are customs going to say about that?

safe money goes back to bank and holiday money goes into safe, easy!!!

it is so laughably easy to come up with any number of different legitimate scenarios as to make an utter mockery of the money laundering regs. They may as well not bother!!!

Whether it works or not I don't know, I just stated the intention.

This is why they ask you to declare it. I'd you show proof that it's not nicked or laundered and that HMRC have had their take you can do whatsapp want. It's not that hard.


Bloody autocorrect

Edited by RobinBanks on Tuesday 27th January 18:24

[Cheib]

SimonV8ster said:

But it does catch people. Saw the program on Heathrow and a little Indian chap was caught trying to take 15k out. Said it was just his money/savings,etc, asked what he did he said 'Indian Take Away', they asked him about his turnover, first he said 7 or 8K then realised he would have to have saved for years for the money he had and he had only been open 2 years. Changed his story to 25K turnover a year, they phoned the tax man and he had only said his earnings were 12K or so.

Took the money off him as he owed a load of back tax - busted !!

As I said on the previous page I got pulled going through City Airport with £5k in CHF. Scanners so work....that was 10 years ago.

[threespires]

Some years ago couple of friends went to Venezuela on holiday & found a wadge of cash in an envelope in the back of a taxi. I forget how much, maybe £5k ish.
They did nothing out of the ordinary for a couple of days. Nothing came of it, so they moved to the most expensive hotel and spent spent spent the lot over the rest of their hols.
True story.

[JackP1]

TheTardis said:

JackP1 said:

Give it in

Boring

I've given in wallets before, i've actually been tempted to hand deliver it to peoples homes etc.
Its the goes around comes around thing.

[robinessex]

I've decided to resurrect this topic, see if any new or amusing ideas arise

[67Dino]

Go on PH and ask for advice?

[robinessex]

67Dino said:

Go on PH and ask for advice?

Just read the 20 pages already here !!!

[Hugo a Gogo]

Cheib said:

SimonV8ster said:

But it does catch people. Saw the program on Heathrow and a little Indian chap was caught trying to take 15k out. Said it was just his money/savings,etc, asked what he did he said 'Indian Take Away', they asked him about his turnover, first he said 7 or 8K then realised he would have to have saved for years for the money he had and he had only been open 2 years. Changed his story to 25K turnover a year, they phoned the tax man and he had only said his earnings were 12K or so.

Took the money off him as he owed a load of back tax - busted !!

As I said on the previous page I got pulled going through City Airport with £5k in CHF. Scanners so work....that was 10 years ago.

Maybe Swiss Francs have RFID chips, like high value Euros do. I passed a parked-up 'Zoll' (customs) car on the German autobahn, they caught up with me and asked if I was carrying a lot of money, like a smartarse I said "how much is a lot of money?" They said "over 10k" so I had to tell them about the 30k€ wages etc I was carrying for seasonal workers.

[Cold]

Ooh, a free suitcase.

[So]

Cold said:

Ooh, a free suitcase.

[DannyScene]

DannyScene said:

Buy a house 200K ish

Buy a RenaultSport Clio 200 in white, alien green or liquid yellow with all the packs etc for weekends

Buy a 335D in white with red leather, probably Msport pack as well for during the week and of course remap it

Buy a little apartment or similar in amsterdam

Continue to live as I am now just with cars and my own houses and half a mil in the bank, would be rather nice at 23

I'm sticking by this plan but I now want an RX7 or Supra Aerotop and an Audi S7 for daily duties I reckon

[Adam B]

DannyScene said:

I'm sticking by this plan but I now want an Audi S7 for daily duties I reckon

how will you buy a £70k car with cash? Audi wont take it

[alorotom]

Adam B said:

DannyScene said:

I'm sticking by this plan but I now want an Audi S7 for daily duties I reckon

how will you buy a £70k car with cash? Audi wont take it

Prepaid credit or debit card could be a go-er, pay the money into it via counter transaction or western union

[sc0tt]

I'd put it all on red.

Win. Hand the million to the police.

Profit.

[simonrockman]

M3333 said:

I think i would keep a very low profile, do something like slinks above, hide the money in my loft and use it as 'life spending money' taking little bits a few times a year. Probably use it to buy a semi decent track slag and go racing, fund a pilots license, maybe buy a share in a plane or something, use it for general spending and keep my wages in the bank. Nobody would think anymore than the business is doing ok and carry on as normal. Don't tell a single soul about the money, even close family and friends.

Edited by M3333 on Saturday 2nd November 06:03

This is exactly what I'd do. It doesn't solve the notes-changing problem.

Simon

[simonrockman]

The Spruce goose said:

buy bitcoins then sell them, lose 100k and all clean, just say you had a few thousand in earlier days, can't see it being traceable, but might take time buying them.

Edited by The Spruce goose on Saturday 17th January 19:27

How do you buy the bitcoins for cash?

[sc0tt]

simonrockman said:

The Spruce goose said:

buy bitcoins then sell them, lose 100k and all clean, just say you had a few thousand in earlier days, can't see it being traceable, but might take time buying them.

Edited by The Spruce goose on Saturday 17th January 19:27

How do you buy the bitcoins for cash?

At the bit coin shop.

[Frank7]

JackP1 said:

TheTardis said:

JackP1 said:

Give it in

Boring

I've given in wallets before, i've actually been tempted to hand deliver it to peoples homes etc.
Its the goes around comes around thing.

When I was driving my own London taxi, every few months I’d find a phone in the back, if it was unlocked I’d scroll through looking for Home, Mum, Dad, Work, etc.
I’d give my number to whoever answered, and eventually arrange a rendezvous to get it back to them.
I’d decline any reward they offered, telling them to give it to charity, and be more careful in future, if I couldn’t access the phone, I’d hand it in to the police.
The two wallets, and one ladies purse I found, I went through for contact numbers or addresses, and returned them, the ladies purse had an engagement ring in it, (don’t ask, I didn’t), and a library card, I returned the purse to the woman in Putney, her husband answered the door, and said, “Hang on mate, my wife will want to thank you.”
When they came back, he forced a bottle of vodka on me, I didn’t want a reward, but I was grateful.
Neither of the two wallets had much cash in them, maybe £30-£35 each, I may have kept that if I couldn’t have traced the owners, same with the cash in the suitcase, the cynic in me can imagine handing cash in, and next day the copper on the desk’s mate claiming it.

Edited by Frank7 on Friday 7th September 13:53

[Adam B]

alorotom said:

Prepaid credit or debit card could be a go-er, pay the money into it via counter transaction or western union

at which point it gets reported to HMRC