Hammered sausages.

[IroningMan]

Rude-boy said:

amancalledrob said:

Pork tree orchard! Hahahaha!!

Mmmm, Bacon tree!

Watch out for the ham bush.

[m8rky]

To be honest I am now expecting nothing less than a "springwatch" style programme.Do you think we can get Kate Humble onboard with this?

"Kate Humble's Hammered Sausage Watch" has a certain ring to it.

[omgus]

Thank you OP.


Can i suggest using different types of sausage in the next test, then we can see what attracts the most damage.

[The Nur]

james_tigerwoods said:

I think you need to spread some dry dog food (that you would subsequently add water to) on a lawn - What we need to see is more damage

I think depth is the catalyst to true damage here. In the OP, the sausages were pictured almost at the surface and the damage done hasn't been too much. I think there needs to be around an inch and a half, two inches between the sausages and the surface, prompting the local wildlife to dig a little deeper and cause slightly more lawn destruction.

[anonymous-user]

3 sausages in each hole, but in tower formation, not porn-star TP style.

[gtidriver]

Would it help if i bored a hole with a drill and put a few bangers in.

[Davey S2]

Will this work properly at this time of year?

I was under the impression that the frozen snags were hammered deep into the ground and then would be dug up by scavengers when they thawed. It's freezing here today so will they thaw out enough to attract enough animals to dig for them?

They also need to be deeper.

[The Nur]

gtidriver said:

Would it help if i bored a hole with a drill and put a few bangers in.

Try all sorts. One hole with a few piled in vertically. One hole with 3 sausages hammered in in a triangular fashion, each at a slant so it has to be dug out and not lifted but all inserted from the same hole.

Dunno, could try just burying one.

[gtidriver]

Once the rain stops ill get the drill out.

[cornet]

[Alapeno]

Well done, you've made my morning considerably better.

+1 for deeper hammered sausages

[gtidriver]

The hole the drill is in has one banger the next one has two and the next one has three.

[opieoilman]

I reckon depth will help as well. Perhaps when you get them to ground level, use a piece of broom handle as an extension to get them a 2-3 inches in. Putting them in early in the day may be a good plan so the sausages have time to defrost, making it harder for the animals to get them out. Also, it might be more effective in summer as I guess some animals have gone into hibernation at this time of year.

[Galileo]

So, who will be the victim, and why?

[gtidriver]

Hey this is just an experiment, I'm not here to feed the local wildlife population.

[gtidriver]

I drilled another hole at a slant, that has 2bangers in it. So that's 8 in total. How long till there eaten then?

[richwig83]

Someone needs to go "balls out" and actually hammer them into their pristine lawn.

[theboyfold]

Maybe your choice of sausage is the main issue:

Sway said:

Big bag of frozen sausages from Asda. Other supermarkets are available but you're up north.

Hammer them into his lawn vertically.

Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.

If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.

Like a big Art Attack.

Do you have somebody that you can send to Asda to pick up the correct sausages?

[williredale]

fk me you don't mess about! Remind me not to piss you off!

[The Nur]

gtidriver said:

I drilled another hole at a slant, that has 2bangers in it. So that's 8 in total. How long till there eaten then?

I don't know, I'm of the impression that the holes should be open to let the sausage aroma out