Break-ups - can you remain friends after?
Discussion
Mobile Chicane said:
I think men take break-ups harder than women do, since women by and large have fairly well-developed support networks.
Men, on the other hand, may feel as though they've lost their one and only truly confiding friend.
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I think this is true. But that friends will surprise you. Some you'll be able to talk to about this stuff and you'll be better friends for it. I know that one of my less good mates became a close friend after I broke up with an ex because he was massively supportive. On the other hand one of my oldest friends was pretty useless, but you don't know until you try...Men, on the other hand, may feel as though they've lost their one and only truly confiding friend.
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Personally, I am on amicable terms with those of my exes I still occasionally bump into. Not necessarily best mates, but friendly.
Never could understand mates of mine who break up and then spend the next year bhing to everyone about "the witch", let alone trying to force you to choose who to be friends with - that ultimatum tends to have the opposite effect.
But what would I know - I broke up with a girl and didn't see her for several years, then we got back in contact.
We have now been married for over 20 years.
ps OP - don't expect that to happen to you!
Never could understand mates of mine who break up and then spend the next year bhing to everyone about "the witch", let alone trying to force you to choose who to be friends with - that ultimatum tends to have the opposite effect.
But what would I know - I broke up with a girl and didn't see her for several years, then we got back in contact.
We have now been married for over 20 years.
ps OP - don't expect that to happen to you!
The Beaver King said:
bhstewie said:
Part of me wants to make some sort of grand speech tbh, the other part just thinks don't burn any bridges and just shut the fk up and leave it and see how it pans out.
Grand speech? You know how you imagine it in your head and you think it sounds pretty cool/intense/sensible? Well it doesn't....
You'll say it, look like a tt and then probably cry.
Best bit of advice I can possibly give; step back, cut contact and immerse yourself in something else until you stop thinking about her every 5 minutes.
At the minute, all you are doing is desperately trying to maintain that link between the both of you because you can't handle not being with her. You will just end up being a little lap dog that she can discard at will.
You need time and space to be able to appreciate the real situation without your dick or heart getting in the way.
Slightly O/T Related
I know a girl (never done her) and since September she's been on and off with her BF at least 3 times. There's always the Facebook/witter message about "guys who lie" and she's on social media constantly. Then it stops abruptly. The ex is re-added and then he appears in pics with her. Then there's some other issue and they split and off we go again. And this is inevitably the scenario the OP will take.
It's fking stupid, and you know what it's insulting to any friends who say "Don't worry mate, you'll get through this, he/she was a tt anyway" You keep putting your hand in the fire and eventually I'll be throwing petrol over you.
OP. Don't be that guy. Move the fk on.
In fact it should be like these things.
In a relationship for X months.
No return within half that
I know a girl (never done her) and since September she's been on and off with her BF at least 3 times. There's always the Facebook/witter message about "guys who lie" and she's on social media constantly. Then it stops abruptly. The ex is re-added and then he appears in pics with her. Then there's some other issue and they split and off we go again. And this is inevitably the scenario the OP will take.
It's fking stupid, and you know what it's insulting to any friends who say "Don't worry mate, you'll get through this, he/she was a tt anyway" You keep putting your hand in the fire and eventually I'll be throwing petrol over you.
OP. Don't be that guy. Move the fk on.
In fact it should be like these things.
In a relationship for X months.
No return within half that
Well I did send something today I'll admit to that. I suppose it's a bit like banging your head against a brick wall - eventually it'll sink in that it hurts and can't do any good and I'll stop doing it.
I think there is someone else involved tbh - I can't begin to explain someone's character on here but I never for one moment had her down as being capable of being so fking cold quite frankly.
I think there is someone else involved tbh - I can't begin to explain someone's character on here but I never for one moment had her down as being capable of being so fking cold quite frankly.
bhstewie said:
I think there is someone else involved tbh - I can't begin to explain someone's character on here but I never for one moment had her down as being capable of being so fking cold quite frankly.
Your thinking is probably confirmed by the latter part of your post.I wouldn't give her the opportunity to demonstrate the side of her you are so surprised to see.
Don't communicate with her at all,or she will continue to do what you least expect of her, if you allow her to.
It takes time.
After my ex and I split I couldn't stand the thought of it. After 10 years however we are friends.
I am infact round hers writing this. There's no ideals of romance at all, in fact we've both have had many (?!) others since.
We do have a kid though which does change things.
I shall conduct an experiment to test are friendship.
I just called her fat and smelly.
She just sighed and said you too.
As I said. All it take is time but sometime it's better to walk away.
After my ex and I split I couldn't stand the thought of it. After 10 years however we are friends.
I am infact round hers writing this. There's no ideals of romance at all, in fact we've both have had many (?!) others since.
We do have a kid though which does change things.
I shall conduct an experiment to test are friendship.
I just called her fat and smelly.
She just sighed and said you too.
As I said. All it take is time but sometime it's better to walk away.
grumbledoak said:
bhstewie said:
... but I never for one moment had her down as being capable of being so fking cold quite frankly.
Well, that answers one question I had. 3 days. She'll kick you in the bks if you give her the opportunity.
Sorry - it's just how it'll be. If you think there is someone else - there almost certainly is.
Sorry. That's just how it is.
Delete her fking number.
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