The best insult you've ever heard
Discussion
AdeTuono said:
Paddy_N_Murphy said:
Just flicked through four pages of this dross.
Not one insult that raised an eyebrow or caused me to mentally jot down.
How on earth this thread got to 18 pages....
Quite agree; the worst are those where the PH'er gives an achingly 'humourous' account of what they said, to the delight of all around.Not one insult that raised an eyebrow or caused me to mentally jot down.
How on earth this thread got to 18 pages....
Ade said:
Honestly, if wit were s
t, they'd never need to wipe.
That's a shame.t, they'd never need to wipe.
Not a verbal insult, but one I remember well.
15yrs ago, summers afternoon, at a beer festival, next to a canal and lock. Everybody was relaxing, drinking beer and chilling except 2 young lads who were pissed up and jumping in and out of the lock making a nuisance of themselves. Being English most people (inc me) were just quietly complaining to their friends about it.
After a while, when the lads were in the lock, 2 hard looking, tattoo covered biker's got up, walked over to the lock, stood there and took a long piss in it.
Needless to say the lads got out looking sheepish and cleared off. Not a word was said by them or the bikers.
15yrs ago, summers afternoon, at a beer festival, next to a canal and lock. Everybody was relaxing, drinking beer and chilling except 2 young lads who were pissed up and jumping in and out of the lock making a nuisance of themselves. Being English most people (inc me) were just quietly complaining to their friends about it.
After a while, when the lads were in the lock, 2 hard looking, tattoo covered biker's got up, walked over to the lock, stood there and took a long piss in it.
Needless to say the lads got out looking sheepish and cleared off. Not a word was said by them or the bikers.
Rickyy said:
Listening to a mate of a mate telling a story of a one night stand and he came up with this line "She got undressed and I didn't know whether to fk it or fight it!" Had me in stitches!
A guy I know picked up a girl, took her home , when she got undressed he took a look and saidk it or fight it!" Had me in stitches!Thanks love but I'll not bother
A couple of days ago a guy was telling a few people a story , 1/2 way through one of the guys says "Dave wipe your mouth " thinking he was dribbling he started to wipe the side of his mouth then the guy finished the sentence "because you're talking s
te"Edited by wack on Thursday 30th March 23:01
Just after the lottery had begun I was queuing to buy a ticket. The man at the front purchased his ticket and left.
Before I could step forward this old lady steps infront of me and presents her play slip.
Me to her: It's alright love I understand at your age every second is important.
She turned, gave me her best Paddington Bear stare then left.
Before I could step forward this old lady steps infront of me and presents her play slip.
Me to her: It's alright love I understand at your age every second is important.
She turned, gave me her best Paddington Bear stare then left.
Not really an insult but it made me laugh
James blunt was being interviewed on the radio earlier in his career
The interviewer said, is it true you used to keep your guitar strapped on the outside of the tank , why was that
Well , it was because tanks are quite small and the army quite likes the men to be on the inside
James blunt was being interviewed on the radio earlier in his career
The interviewer said, is it true you used to keep your guitar strapped on the outside of the tank , why was that
Well , it was because tanks are quite small and the army quite likes the men to be on the inside
wack said:
Not really an insult but it made me laugh
James blunt was being interviewed on the radio earlier in his career
The interviewer said, is it true you used to keep your guitar strapped on the outside of the tank , why was that
Well , it was because tanks are quite small and the army quite likes the men to be on the inside
It was during his interview by Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear. Janes Blunt acquitted himself very well with his replies and also in the "Reasonably priced car" lap. James blunt was being interviewed on the radio earlier in his career
The interviewer said, is it true you used to keep your guitar strapped on the outside of the tank , why was that
Well , it was because tanks are quite small and the army quite likes the men to be on the inside
Not sure if the best but good one all the same.
Lass from school on holiday - poolside in the sun. Getting hassle from the typical dick who thinks he's all that and funny.
Picks up the sunbed with her on it and throws her in the pool.
In her best Scottish - she retorts
"I'm in the pool, yet you still don't f'ing make me wet"
Lass from school on holiday - poolside in the sun. Getting hassle from the typical dick who thinks he's all that and funny.
Picks up the sunbed with her on it and throws her in the pool.
In her best Scottish - she retorts
"I'm in the pool, yet you still don't f'ing make me wet"
Evangelion said:
It has long been my ambition, while sitting in a pub or similar public place accompanied by an attractive lady (yeah, like that's ever going to happen at my age) to go up to a timid-looking little bloke and say,
"OI! You looking at my bird?"
and when he replies, "Oh ... er ... no" to add,
"Well why not? What's wrong with her?"
"Well she's clearly a "OI! You looking at my bird?"
and when he replies, "Oh ... er ... no" to add,
"Well why not? What's wrong with her?"
to be hanging about with you!" 
glenrobbo said:
It was during his interview by Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear. Janes Blunt acquitted himself very well with his replies and also in the "Reasonably priced car" lap.
Ah yes, I remember - "I hear they're fitting catalytic converters to tanks" "Yes, just trying to make war that little bit less dangerous..."wack said:
glenrobbo said:
It was during his interview by Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear. Janes Blunt acquitted himself very well with his replies and also in the "Reasonably priced car" lap.
Thanks for clearing that up, I thought I'd heard it on the radio Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff