The best insult you've ever heard
Discussion
Two real ones but more like sharp responses
Brother: I know I don't know you that well mate but do me a favour and no matter how pissed I get tonight don't let me shag that ugly bird over there
Other bloke: I'm sorry but that's my wife
Brother: hey, no need to apologise, you married her,
Me: bloody hell Ste. How thick are you?
Ste: not telling you!
Brother: I know I don't know you that well mate but do me a favour and no matter how pissed I get tonight don't let me shag that ugly bird over there
Other bloke: I'm sorry but that's my wife
Brother: hey, no need to apologise, you married her,
Me: bloody hell Ste. How thick are you?
Ste: not telling you!
We've all heard the classics, such as...
Of a boss, "He has delusions of adequancy."
Of a woman, "A face like a welder's bench."
or
"A face like a cobbler's thumb."
or even
"A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
My fave, however, was more subtle.
Of a girl known locally to be, er, co-operative...
...I bet she's burning a bit of oil by now
Of a boss, "He has delusions of adequancy."
Of a woman, "A face like a welder's bench."
or
"A face like a cobbler's thumb."
or even
"A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
My fave, however, was more subtle.
Of a girl known locally to be, er, co-operative...
...I bet she's burning a bit of oil by now
Council Baby said:
Reading an article anout some of the abuse on t
tter aimed at politicians and such had me in stitches this afternoon, gems such as 'you shape shifting horse fker' are absolute gold.
So let's hear the best/funniest insults you've heard.
I'll save them for use in a boring business meeting at some point
Pear stick in the Ear CB tter aimed at politicians and such had me in stitches this afternoon, gems such as 'you shape shifting horse fker' are absolute gold.So let's hear the best/funniest insults you've heard.
I'll save them for use in a boring business meeting at some point
tleefox said:
No they didn't.
No he didn't.
Really, ok I stand corrected I didn't realise you were there. Worse things have been said on a 5 a side pitch, perhaps you'd know if played but since we're making statements with zero substance, you don't play and you pretend to be a lady at the weekend. No he didn't.
Hairbrakes said:
The best one I've ever heard of is to be used in when someone tries one of your own insults on you:
"If I wanted my own comeback I'd have wiped your mum's chin"
That's genuinely dreadful. Imagine actually saying that to someone. They'd look at you like you were mental. Implying that you f"If I wanted my own comeback I'd have wiped your mum's chin"
ked someone's mum can only ever be effective if you actually have. Otherwise you just sound like an over-sexed schoolboy.How would you respond if they replied with "Are you insinuating that you ejaculated on my mother's face? If so, why, assuming it isn't actually true?"
Disastrous said:
That's genuinely dreadful. Imagine actually saying that to someone. They'd look at you like you were mental. Implying that you fked someone's mum can only ever be effective if you actually have. Otherwise you just sound like an over-sexed schoolboy.
How would you respond if they replied with "Are you insinuating that you ejaculated on my mother's face? If so, why, assuming it isn't actually true?"
Shut up Sheldonked someone's mum can only ever be effective if you actually have. Otherwise you just sound like an over-sexed schoolboy.How would you respond if they replied with "Are you insinuating that you ejaculated on my mother's face? If so, why, assuming it isn't actually true?"
adaptive said:
Disastrous said:
That's genuinely dreadful. Imagine actually saying that to someone. They'd look at you like you were mental. Implying that you fked someone's mum can only ever be effective if you actually have. Otherwise you just sound like an over-sexed schoolboy.
How would you respond if they replied with "Are you insinuating that you ejaculated on my mother's face? If so, why, assuming it isn't actually true?"
Shut up Sheldonked someone's mum can only ever be effective if you actually have. Otherwise you just sound like an over-sexed schoolboy.How would you respond if they replied with "Are you insinuating that you ejaculated on my mother's face? If so, why, assuming it isn't actually true?"
Good one. You see, Hairbrakes? That's how you do it.
Legeen said:
tleefox said:
No they didn't.
No he didn't.
Really, ok I stand corrected I didn't realise you were there. Worse things have been said on a 5 a side pitch, perhaps you'd know if played but since we're making statements with zero substance, you don't play and you pretend to be a lady at the weekend. No he didn't.
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