Odd things your neighbours do?

[Hitch78]

Story 1:

I once opened the front door only to be punched in the face by a lesbian copper neighbour who was very drunk (but less drunk than I!) complaining that we were playing 'st country music'. It was the Eagles so she was clearly off her tits. She then called the police and accused me of punching her and attempting to force my way into her house.

Given that she was on the force it was all extensively investigated and she did a great job of twisting the story to the extent that they were looking at charging me with some form of trumped up political correctness aligned aggrevated assault against a lesbian police officer...or something of that nature.

Her proof of my hatred of lesbians was stated in interview as being that I hadn't been to their house warming party! The investigating officer's face was a picture when I told him that I hadn't attended the party because I was in another city at a 25th birthday of a girl I'd been to primary school, who also happened to be a lesbian. He declined to look at the pictures from that party.

We continued to have massive parties and play the Eagles on occasion. She and her girlfriend continued to be massively drunk and fight all of the time - they were pretty evenly matched by the sounds of it.

Story 2:

Current neighbours are known as 'the Clampets' and are seemingly nocturnal. We rarely see or hear them during the day (it's been months now) but they are up and about shuffling around in silence every night from about 8pm to 5am. They can regularly be found gardening in the middle of the night in the dark and move their bins around 2am each Monday morning. Nothing particularly annoying but all a bit weird and a touch sad. They have dogs who are let out onto the street at night to st and they have cats who permanently have fleas meaning ours do too - that's the only very annoying thing about them.

Their house is run down and is a tip inside. It is easily worth $2 million Aussie dollars. Bonkers!

Edited by Hitch78 on Monday 25th August 06:58

[DickyC]

Rawwr said:

I peered out of an upstairs bedroom to see a neighbour standing in his back garden, wearing a wetsuit and smoking a cigarette. Not sure why.

Waiting for the washer dryer to finish?

[dingg]

MajorProblem said:

rollondeath said:

Would you be happy with a paedo living next door?

I would. It would stop the kids playing out in the street for a start. [/quote

[Fer]

dingg said:

MajorProblem said:

rollondeath said:

Would you be happy with a paedo living next door?

I would. It would stop the kids playing out in the street for a start.

Say what you like about them, but at least they slow down outside schools.

[Zoobeef]

Fer said:

dingg said:

MajorProblem said:

rollondeath said:

Would you be happy with a paedo living next door?

I would. It would stop the kids playing out in the street for a start.

Say what you like about them, but at least they slow down outside schools.

Also, if you ever need that emergency babysitter......

[Spare tyre]

new people have moved in about 10 doors away

our houses have really big windows - the guy has taken to standing in it when dark with the light on behind him

when you get near his car he puffs up like a angry cat. I tested this theory by turning round and picking up some litter. Very strange - always seems to be there, maybe their TV delivery has been delayed

[MikeOxlong]

My neighbours must think I'm fairly strange as I spend most of the time outside working on a car that rarely goes anywhere.

[Captainawesome]

Silver said:

Now you're projecting feelings on me which I don't have. Is that a way of belittling me and trying to make me agree with you?

I thought Simon Thingy's behaviour towards his neighbour was stty and I told him so. I wasn't expecting the anti-peed brigade to jump out from behind their bush and try to claim some dude not saying hello to a neighbour going through a difficult time as a victory for child protection.

You seem to be very supportive of the paedophile. ....are you seriously suggesting that you would be happy for someone who has been found with lots of kiddie porn to be living in your street? That's a bit different to the local 'looks like a peado'.

Do you have children ?

I wouldn't be fking happy about it. Indeed the self restraint shown by not going round and kicking seven shades of st out of the scrote is genuinely impressive.

I fear that I would not be as relaxed about the situation.

But then I am Scottish.

[yellowbentines]

MikeOxlong said:

My neighbours must think I'm fairly strange as I spend most of the time outside working on a car that rarely goes anywhere.

I spend hardly any time working on a car that hasnt went anywhere in years.

My neighbours also dont do anything odd that I can report, maybe its me that's the odd neighbour...oh dear...

[OldBuoy]

My wife likes wetsuits but hates smoking if I go into the garden for a fag one of my neighbours peers at me. Weirdo.

[Captainawesome]

Silver said:

I wasn't expecting the anti-peed brigade to jump out

So you are in the what brigade?

You do make me laugh.

Is it against the kiddie fiddlers human rights to be persecuted for his crimes against an innocent?

(Yes I am aware that his mother was the one being discussed but I would care not for blood in a situation like that where her action of letting her son stay there may put innocent children at risk)

Anti peed brigade??? I wish you were sitting on this rig with me spouting your super pc ste.

[Blown2CV]

Captainawesome said:

Silver said:

Now you're projecting feelings on me which I don't have. Is that a way of belittling me and trying to make me agree with you?

I thought Simon Thingy's behaviour towards his neighbour was stty and I told him so. I wasn't expecting the anti-peed brigade to jump out from behind their bush and try to claim some dude not saying hello to a neighbour going through a difficult time as a victory for child protection.

You seem to be very supportive of the paedophile. ....are you seriously suggesting that you would be happy for someone who has been found with lots of kiddie porn to be living in your street? That's a bit different to the local 'looks like a peado'.

Do you have children ?

I wouldn't be fking happy about it. Indeed the self restraint shown by not going round and kicking seven shades of st out of the scrote is genuinely impressive.

I fear that I would not be as relaxed about the situation.

But then I am Scottish.

just because someone isn't up for being part of the angry spitting mob ready to 'string em up' doesn't mean they are supporting the bad guy. I don't think we're even talking about the bad guy himself here, but his Mum who hasn't done anything to deserve being shunned, and is probably going through the worst time of her life. I am not saying support her either, just don't be a st to her as she isn't the wrong un.

Honestly the whole binary argument thing really pisses me off. I don't see how people can be so black and white, so to speak. It's often applied to terrorism - if you aren't up for killing every brown person, sending every 'foreigner' 'back to where they came from', then you're supporting the terrorists, or at the very least not a patriot. It's either violence on the side of 'right' or violence on the side of 'wrong' and people don't get that it's not how we need to be as humans to try and sort the world out a bit.

[Jasandjules]

The person who is further down the street than us quite often drives past ever so slowly whenever we have workmen.. She appears to love to know when we are having our roof fixed, or a bathroom fitted and so on. Once or twice she's also collared them on our drive to ask them to "quote" her for works.....

[bristolracer]

MagneticMeerkat said:

We've never spoken on the grounds that on the day of moving in he told the occupiers of the houses either side that his family didn't associate with neighbours and politely asked them never to engage any of them in conversation or whatever. Bizarre as I live in a sociable road we all talk to each other regularly.

I like that,next time I move i will remember that.

[DUMBO100]

DickyC said:

Rawwr said:

I peered out of an upstairs bedroom to see a neighbour standing in his back garden, wearing a wetsuit and smoking a cigarette. Not sure why.

Waiting for the washer dryer to finish?

Hides the smell of smoke so the Mrs doesn't catch him

[buzzer]

The bloke that lives opposite us is anal about his lawn... If a daisy appears he goes out, removes the roots and fills the tiny hole. its a perfect lawn... he cuts the edge with scissor... She asked us not to feed the squirrels nuts as they go and bury them in his nice lawn..

he fell out with us a few years ago as we parked too many cars on OUR drive...

so I started feeding the squirrels walnuts which made a real mess when they tried to bury them in his lawn

[kowalski655]

Makes a change from frozen sausages

[RDJ]

Used to have an elderly neighbour who took to feeding the seagulls with loaves of bread and bacon rinds (masses of bacon rinds). He would do this every morning.

In the end (before he went in to care) it got so bad that they would circle for an hour waiting for their 'breakfast'.

The cars would get covered with sh*t, as would he.

The numbers swelled to the point where he would be obliterated from sight, eventually emerging looking like he'd been run over.

[akz0rrr]

Not much to report here. The old chap on one side of us is fine for the most part. Although he delights in describing myself and my girlfriend as "indoor people" whenever we see him. He also will not put his bins out in front of his hedge, always in front of mine. I'll move his to his side when I put mine out buy when I look out later in the evening they're always back in front of my hedge. Odd.

The chavvy older couple on the other side are always arguing but are generally asleep by 10pm so we don't have a huge problem with them bar the odd stick or dog toy being thrown over the fence. He does have a large shed at the bottom of his back garden which is completely surrounded by a 6ft high fence. One panel is removable and he'll sometimes work in there all day pumping out crap early 90s drum and bass. No idea what he does in there or why he fences it off.

[Spare tyre]

one of our neighbours has two daughters in the mid to late teens

pretty much everytime there is a full moon they have massive rows - eventually it calms down when the grandparents come round to sort em out

very odd