Are all children annoying?
Discussion
TwistingMyMelon said:
Blimey the people you hang about with dont parent their kids too well, yeah you get the traits you mention, but not all the time 24-7!!! You also fail to mention the good points and all the FUN and affection!!!
OP you sound like a miserable 15 year old with a charisma vacuum
You're right it's not all the time but it seems to be the majority of the time, which is every evening when I get back from work and most of the weekend. I've spent the day dealing with some incompetent adults, then have children to put up with as well. OP you sound like a miserable 15 year old with a charisma vacuum
I guess with the children not being mine, it makes all the difference. All of the parents that I speak to seem to think that some magical change happens when they successfully procreate, leading to endless joy. I don't quite see it that way at the moment.
I'm actually the wrong side of 30, rather than 15 as you suggest. I just chose not to have children and accidentally fell in love with someone who already had a child. I guess this post was asking for advice more than anything - as a 'step' parent, it's really f
king difficult to connect with the kid and learn where to draw the line with discipline, etc. I'm trying to make it work but it's increasingly difficult. She understands but will obviously choose the child over me if things continue to be difficult.Other peoples children are immensely annoying, as most parents will tell you!
It's different when it is your own kid though or one you are close with. Other people's kids you jsut get a snap shot of it all, when you actually spend a great deal of time with them and bond, you see the other side.
I used to hate kids and steer well clear until I went out with my ex who had a daughter. Certainly opened my eyes to how rewarding it is aftetr all the hard work. Yes it's very hard sometimes and they drive you mental but the good moments outweigh the bad.
One of the best things is seeing the wonder and amazement on their face at something we as adults find very ordinary or every day. Like her first ride on a train.
I used to commute every day by train, I hate the things when I commute, cramped, hot, no seat etc.etc. A half day Saturday at work my ex and her daughter came to meet me from work for lunch, shops, see Edinburgh (Kara's first time there) then took the train home.
The look of sheer excitement and amazement as it started to move was priceless, her face couldn't have been any closer to the window as she peered out. What was an everyday, boring 30 minutes of my day was the most amazing 30 minutes of her day.
That day has stuck with me rather vividly.
Yes kids can be difficult but it all depends on the parents. Kids only know what parents teach them and the parents that have kids that let them shout and scream, trash other peoples houses, throw tantrums etc. haven't taught them the correct way to behave. There is no other cause but the parents.
It's different when it is your own kid though or one you are close with. Other people's kids you jsut get a snap shot of it all, when you actually spend a great deal of time with them and bond, you see the other side.
I used to hate kids and steer well clear until I went out with my ex who had a daughter. Certainly opened my eyes to how rewarding it is aftetr all the hard work. Yes it's very hard sometimes and they drive you mental but the good moments outweigh the bad.
One of the best things is seeing the wonder and amazement on their face at something we as adults find very ordinary or every day. Like her first ride on a train.
I used to commute every day by train, I hate the things when I commute, cramped, hot, no seat etc.etc. A half day Saturday at work my ex and her daughter came to meet me from work for lunch, shops, see Edinburgh (Kara's first time there) then took the train home.
The look of sheer excitement and amazement as it started to move was priceless, her face couldn't have been any closer to the window as she peered out. What was an everyday, boring 30 minutes of my day was the most amazing 30 minutes of her day.
That day has stuck with me rather vividly.
Yes kids can be difficult but it all depends on the parents. Kids only know what parents teach them and the parents that have kids that let them shout and scream, trash other peoples houses, throw tantrums etc. haven't taught them the correct way to behave. There is no other cause but the parents.
I am a step parent and have been for nigh on 15+ years. There has been many hard times due to the fact that my wife has differing expectations of her children than I would have, had they been mine. I have my own kids too (similar ages to the step children) and I suspect that their own upbringing may have been different if I had remained married to their Mum. In short, they are all nice adults, doing the stuff that they want to do, at their own cost and learning their own lessons. I am proud for them all and pleased that the broken homes scenario has not made them insufferable tts as adults.
If you want the love you now have for this lady, who is mother of the child/ren, then I suspect that the first thing you need to do when you get home is sit and chat with her about your anger, for that is exactly what it is and if allowed to continue it will end in separation. Guaranteed.
You may be projecting jealousy onto the child because their, quite natural, desires for more 'stuff' may not be tempered by their mother and this is not right (according to your own experiences, and those who grew up in your generation0. I agree with a lot of your list but they are only doing what comes naturally. As detailed above, this is a parenting issue, not a child issue.
If you really can't stand to sit and watch the child be spoilt (it'll only get worse in the teenage years if it is not stopped now) then you need to think very carefully about whether this relationship is for you.
Some serious decisions are needed, urgently, as if the current situation perpetuates then she, the mother, will end up hating you anyway. Also guaranteed.
Best of luck with that, it can be a real trawl but it can also work out too!
ts as adults.If you want the love you now have for this lady, who is mother of the child/ren, then I suspect that the first thing you need to do when you get home is sit and chat with her about your anger, for that is exactly what it is and if allowed to continue it will end in separation. Guaranteed.
You may be projecting jealousy onto the child because their, quite natural, desires for more 'stuff' may not be tempered by their mother and this is not right (according to your own experiences, and those who grew up in your generation0. I agree with a lot of your list but they are only doing what comes naturally. As detailed above, this is a parenting issue, not a child issue.
If you really can't stand to sit and watch the child be spoilt (it'll only get worse in the teenage years if it is not stopped now) then you need to think very carefully about whether this relationship is for you.
Some serious decisions are needed, urgently, as if the current situation perpetuates then she, the mother, will end up hating you anyway. Also guaranteed.
Best of luck with that, it can be a real trawl but it can also work out too!
My sisters kids are a nightmare; 2 and 5, to the point that my eldest; 21 won't have her and her kids round her flat as they trash the place, my sister wont keep an eye on them or tell them "no", we try our best not to have them round too often for the same reasons and also my sister just makes everything such hard work.
She will come round and massively outstay her welcome all whilst they are trashing the house, in the evening she will produce a crappy pizza and ask for it to be cooked for the kids, they won't eat it and most of it will end up on the floor however it doesn't stop them being given sweets afterwards and then she will ask if they can have a bath; producing their pyjamas, she won't clean up after the bath either so we end up clearing up the water on the floor, wet towels etc. and she keeps them out way too late so they end up really ratty
They have no bedtime routine and are frequently up way past 8:00pm and this has a knock on effect for the next day and my niece; 5, is struggling at school as she's so tired.
They don't eat properly, generally crap and McDonalds twice a week, that's bad enough for a 5 year old let alone a 2 year old. If there is a family get together, usually a nice big roast, my sister will get her eldest to ask my already stressed stepmum who has made a lovely meal, to do fish fingers, for example, for them as they won't eat a roast, over ruling her husband who has already said they have to eat what is cooked.
They are the sort of kids who you look at in restaurants tutting as they run around being noisy leaving a trail of food that isn't cleared up.
My sister has made my niece a little madam; demanding things and usually getting it.
My brother in law tries so hard however as he works so much and my sister only works two days a week he struggles to be authorative and anyway my sister will over rule him.
Anyway, kids can be pain, some of it is due to their upbringing and some of it is them exploring their boundaries but good parenting will bring them back in to line.
My kids, now 21 and 15 have been wonderful, mostly!!
She will come round and massively outstay her welcome all whilst they are trashing the house, in the evening she will produce a crappy pizza and ask for it to be cooked for the kids, they won't eat it and most of it will end up on the floor however it doesn't stop them being given sweets afterwards and then she will ask if they can have a bath; producing their pyjamas, she won't clean up after the bath either so we end up clearing up the water on the floor, wet towels etc. and she keeps them out way too late so they end up really ratty
They have no bedtime routine and are frequently up way past 8:00pm and this has a knock on effect for the next day and my niece; 5, is struggling at school as she's so tired.
They don't eat properly, generally crap and McDonalds twice a week, that's bad enough for a 5 year old let alone a 2 year old. If there is a family get together, usually a nice big roast, my sister will get her eldest to ask my already stressed stepmum who has made a lovely meal, to do fish fingers, for example, for them as they won't eat a roast, over ruling her husband who has already said they have to eat what is cooked.
They are the sort of kids who you look at in restaurants tutting as they run around being noisy leaving a trail of food that isn't cleared up.
My sister has made my niece a little madam; demanding things and usually getting it.
My brother in law tries so hard however as he works so much and my sister only works two days a week he struggles to be authorative and anyway my sister will over rule him.
Anyway, kids can be pain, some of it is due to their upbringing and some of it is them exploring their boundaries but good parenting will bring them back in to line.
My kids, now 21 and 15 have been wonderful, mostly!!
My 4yo twins are like how you descibe OP...when they are with my ex at their house.
When they are at mine (Or when I visit their house) they say please and thank you, eat with their mouth shut, pick up their rubbish, don't strop etc etc.
Their mum has just given up then complains how badly behaved they are. To be fait she does have five and she's n her own but still.
Just shows you how adaptable kids are.
When they are at mine (Or when I visit their house) they say please and thank you, eat with their mouth shut, pick up their rubbish, don't strop etc etc.
Their mum has just given up then complains how badly behaved they are. To be fait she does have five and she's n her own but still.
Just shows you how adaptable kids are.
Never going to go down well with the parents on here OP! 
But remember, their kids are highly intelligent and only misbehave because the are soo gifted that they need a lot of stimulation and get bored easily.
And anyway, you have to keep buying them things and letting them stay up late if you want your children to see you as their bestest friend, how are you going to live variously through them otherwise?
But remember, their kids are highly intelligent and only misbehave because the are soo gifted that they need a lot of stimulation and get bored easily.
And anyway, you have to keep buying them things and letting them stay up late if you want your children to see you as their bestest friend, how are you going to live variously through them otherwise?
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