Sex Excuse Spreadsheet
Discussion
Rawwr said:
Christ, if I had to document every time someone didn't want sex with me, I'd have to have built a clustered SQL environment by now.
The fact I know how to do that may be the main reason.
What you mean you don't have women flocking to you when you start talking about window functions, indexes and how good AlwaysOn is?!The fact I know how to do that may be the main reason.
Same here.
Mumsnet thread, for those who want to lose the will to live are interested:
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2139396-Man-Sen...
Seems you can tell a lot from a spreadsheet - he's crap in bed, has personal hygiene issues, is passive agressive and only asked her at inconvenient times so he could make a list to use against her.
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2139396-Man-Sen...
Seems you can tell a lot from a spreadsheet - he's crap in bed, has personal hygiene issues, is passive agressive and only asked her at inconvenient times so he could make a list to use against her.
youngsyr said:
Mumsnet thread, for those who want to lose the will to live are interested:
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2139396-Man-Sen...
Seems you can tell a lot from a spreadsheet - he's crap in bed, has personal hygiene issues, is passive agressive and only asked her at inconvenient times so he could make a list to use against her.
wow!http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2139396-Man-Sen...
Seems you can tell a lot from a spreadsheet - he's crap in bed, has personal hygiene issues, is passive agressive and only asked her at inconvenient times so he could make a list to use against her.
i have never been to that website before, that is frightening.
that is a vile sweary nest of vipers.
i think i might turn gay.
Prawnboy said:
youngsyr said:
Mumsnet thread, for those who want to lose the will to live are interested:
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2139396-Man-Sen...
Seems you can tell a lot from a spreadsheet - he's crap in bed, has personal hygiene issues, is passive agressive and only asked her at inconvenient times so he could make a list to use against her.
wow!http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2139396-Man-Sen...
Seems you can tell a lot from a spreadsheet - he's crap in bed, has personal hygiene issues, is passive agressive and only asked her at inconvenient times so he could make a list to use against her.
i have never been to that website before, that is frightening.
that is a vile sweary nest of vipers.
i think i might turn gay.
Very funny. I had a quick look through the Mumsnet as well...bloody hell!
I'm almost tempted to post on there. I split with my partner of 14 years, last year. A lot of the issues were around her mental health issues (bi-polar) but - being honest - our sex-life had also disappeared and it was killing me.
I talked to her about this, did all the right romantic things, lots of couple stuff, went to our GP, suggested we should go to counselling... you name it - I tried it, always in a sympathetic 'we are in this together' type of way.
Nothing much changed and I decided I would write her a letter detailing exactly how I felt about it (as a person, as a man) how upset I was that we so rarely got so close, how angry it made me, how it was affecting my life and our life.
In it I also detailed some of the excuses - I've eaten too much, I'm too tired, I've had too much to drink etc..etc..
It did have an effect and I think she recognised some of the patterns and finally realised how much it was affecting me - and us as a couple.
Did we stay together - no. Did it help her perhaps understand my perspective - yes.
So, i think that in a very clumsy way this is probably what this guy was trying to achieve. We don't know the rest of the story...what had he tried before he became desperate enough to produce this chart?
Hence, having some perspective on this situation myself, it upsets me to see these Mumsnetters jump to the conclusion he must just be a horrible person.
How can they not see that sex is important and not try to see the other persons point of view. Maybe that's why there are so many 'my husband just left me' threads on there?
I'm almost tempted to post on there. I split with my partner of 14 years, last year. A lot of the issues were around her mental health issues (bi-polar) but - being honest - our sex-life had also disappeared and it was killing me.
I talked to her about this, did all the right romantic things, lots of couple stuff, went to our GP, suggested we should go to counselling... you name it - I tried it, always in a sympathetic 'we are in this together' type of way.
Nothing much changed and I decided I would write her a letter detailing exactly how I felt about it (as a person, as a man) how upset I was that we so rarely got so close, how angry it made me, how it was affecting my life and our life.
In it I also detailed some of the excuses - I've eaten too much, I'm too tired, I've had too much to drink etc..etc..
It did have an effect and I think she recognised some of the patterns and finally realised how much it was affecting me - and us as a couple.
Did we stay together - no. Did it help her perhaps understand my perspective - yes.
So, i think that in a very clumsy way this is probably what this guy was trying to achieve. We don't know the rest of the story...what had he tried before he became desperate enough to produce this chart?
Hence, having some perspective on this situation myself, it upsets me to see these Mumsnetters jump to the conclusion he must just be a horrible person.
How can they not see that sex is important and not try to see the other persons point of view. Maybe that's why there are so many 'my husband just left me' threads on there?
I'm sure I'm going to get flamed (again) for this, but in my past vanilla relationships I've found sex incredibly boring and er...unrewarding - for example, the same position for years can get a little 'samey'. 
Perhaps if men took a bit more interest in the woman's enjoyment, the woman might actually want sex more?
Or go kinky!
Perhaps if men took a bit more interest in the woman's enjoyment, the woman might actually want sex more?
Or go kinky!
Carthage said:
DervVW said:
It takes two to the act, if its samey and boring, then either side can suggest changes, its not just down to the man to initiate or to choose position or kinkiness level...
I tried, believe me, but he was appalled at anything risqué, like kissing.Seriously.
Carthage said:
DervVW said:
It takes two to the act, if its samey and boring, then either side can suggest changes, its not just down to the man to initiate or to choose position or kinkiness level...
I tried, believe me, but he was appalled at anything risqué, like kissing.Seriously.
loafer123 said:
You did say "relationships", though. Were they all equally appalled?
I did, but that example was specific to one long term relationship*.Before that, I had a more fluid approach to relationships; open, FWB and found the people involved were much harder to horrify with my depravity. Since then, I've....well...explored boundaries.
- with someone who works in IT
Carthage said:
loafer123 said:
You did say "relationships", though. Were they all equally appalled?
I did, but that example was specific to one long term relationship*.Before that, I had a more fluid approach to relationships; open, FWB and found the people involved were much harder to horrify with my depravity. Since then, I've....well...explored boundaries.
- with someone who works in IT
DervVW said:
Carthage said:
loafer123 said:
You did say "relationships", though. Were they all equally appalled?
I did, but that example was specific to one long term relationship*.Before that, I had a more fluid approach to relationships; open, FWB and found the people involved were much harder to horrify with my depravity. Since then, I've....well...explored boundaries.
- with someone who works in IT
For the most part I suspect different libidos are just a natural difference between men and women, men want to spread their oats as wide as possible, women are inherently cautious as they could be the one stuck with a kid for the rest of their lives.
The trick is to reach a compromise and if you find a foolproof way to do that, it'll be worth £millions to couples all over the world.
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