July 26th 2014. Day 17 at the Mental Health Clinic.
Discussion
Jasandjules said:
If you can get hold of Skyrim or Fallout 3, they will drain hours of your life.
I recently spent hours and hours on GTA 5 just driving around. Not playing the game per se, but just exploring the city/desert and then hooning down the open highways day and night. Very soothing. 
Any Pistonheader who can't access a car could benefit from the soothing, er, benefits of this game.
I'm conscious of offering "advice" as to stuff you should do when I'm clearly not on your position. This stems from coping with my best friend who has suffered from depression since his late teens (he's now 37
That said, Marv, I'd echo the suggestion of maintaining, or even increasing physical fitness.
Even doing a bunch of pressups every day would be help
Well done on the date btw, good moves!
That said, Marv, I'd echo the suggestion of maintaining, or even increasing physical fitness.
Even doing a bunch of pressups every day would be help
Well done on the date btw, good moves!
Adz The Rat said:
How are you getting on Marv?
I have been reading this thread but sorry I haven't commented before, as frankly I couldn't think of anything constructive to say! I still can't, but I guess just general rambling and well wishes are better than nothing
What is the food like in the place?
^^^Wot e sed^^^I have been reading this thread but sorry I haven't commented before, as frankly I couldn't think of anything constructive to say! I still can't, but I guess just general rambling and well wishes are better than nothing
What is the food like in the place?
do you have any spare cake? I've run out
I have little useful to say, save that there will be good times ahead, and they won't take forever to turn up.
TheJimi said:
I'm conscious of offering "advice" as to stuff you should do when I'm clearly not on your position. This stems from coping with my best friend who has suffered from depression since his late teens (he's now 37
That said, Marv, I'd echo the suggestion of maintaining, or even increasing physical fitness.
Even doing a bunch of pressups every day would be help
Well done on the date btw, good moves!
That said, Marv, I'd echo the suggestion of maintaining, or even increasing physical fitness.
Even doing a bunch of pressups every day would be help
Well done on the date btw, good moves!
selym said:
Marv, do you get much opportunity for physical exercise? Giving yourself some targets, for example 5 and 10k times on a treadmill could be added to your routine.
Whatever you do, stay strong mentally and physically; best wishes from me.
Jimi, Selym,Whatever you do, stay strong mentally and physically; best wishes from me.
I exercise for 2 hours a day 6 days a week, exercise is aplenty
I've dropped 6kg since arriving here despite eating very well, and have become more lean and toned, so that's nice!Thanks for the good wishes lads!
Adz The Rat said:
How are you getting on Marv?
I have been reading this thread but sorry I haven't commented before, as frankly I couldn't think of anything constructive to say! I still can't, but I guess just general rambling and well wishes are better than nothing
What is the food like in the place?
Adz, general rambling is the way go I have been reading this thread but sorry I haven't commented before, as frankly I couldn't think of anything constructive to say! I still can't, but I guess just general rambling and well wishes are better than nothing
What is the food like in the place?
Food is very good, they offer meat for the carnivores and veggies for us differently inclined, and they also cater to any special needs (vegan, glucose, lactose, gluten etc).
Quality is very high, everything is bio and fair trade and it tastes nice!
Corpulent Tosser said:
I have nothing in the way of advise or help to give you but having read through this thread all I can say is I wish you well and hope you can be back with your son very soon.
CT
CT, thank you very much, this means a lot!CT
Eric Mc said:
Sounds a rather risky endeavour to get involved with someone who perhaps has personal mental health issues when you are striving to overcome your own.
Of course, you may be able to share your mutual burdens so there might be some positive aspects to it - but I wonder what might happen if she starts leaning too much on you for support - or vise versa.
Eric, thanks you for your concern, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. We talked about this as well and are well aware of the risks - we agreed not do be each other's therapists and leave that to the pros and instead focus on getting to know each other, we understand if the other needs some space or time to themselves, so in a way I think it might be easier for me to be in a relationship with another depressed person than with a 'normal' lady, as a person who doesn't suffer from the stuff we do will have difficulty understanding, coping and dealing with depression.Of course, you may be able to share your mutual burdens so there might be some positive aspects to it - but I wonder what might happen if she starts leaning too much on you for support - or vise versa.
We are very wary of leaning too much on each other as well as this might destroy the relationship that's only just blooming.
I hope you guys are all doing well and thank you for all the comments and keeping this thread going!
That's all for today, all the best lads!
Marv, thanks for sharing your ongoing experience! It's rare to find someone actually going through it openly discussing it.
As a young boy I had dealings with Mental Health Teams and therapists, its too long ago for me to remember exactly but my mother tells me it was to do with my emotions, or the lack of. May have involved some sort of repression therapy or I may have just made that up. I cant remember exactly and I don't ask.
All I really know is that, like Sheldon Cooper from the TV show The Big Bang Theory, I can say "I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested!"
Speaking of TV shows, do you have access to DVD's or DVD players? Perhaps you could invest your time in a TV show that had a long run, something like the Sopranos, E.R, the CSI series? Some of these have over 300 episodes and could be a great way to bide some time for the rainy days when the computers are being hogged.
) and things just snowballed from there.
But she got better, with the help of medication and doctors. And had 3 or 4 good years, until last year she fell ill again. except this time it came in the form of Depression and Anxiety. The anxiety being the bigger influence this time around. She was offered a place in the local Mental Health Unit to begin intensive therapy, but declined as she couldn't face seeing anyone but me and her family. She became something of a hermit for a good 5 months, even the simple, to me anyway, task of going down the road to the doctors was a task that would see her curl up into a ball, and when she did manage it, physical and emotional energy it took would see her exhausted for hours/days afterwards.
Were working on getting her back to full health, but have realised she may never get 'fully' better and always be dealing with it in some form. She hand't been completely honest with me until recently that on a few occasions last year she had considered taking her own life.
I've been quite open with her and the doctors and nurses that I cant begin to understand how she has been feeling the last year, possibly because I'm slightly messed up too emotionally, but because I have never experienced anything remotely close to what she is experiencing, I simply cant empathise with her feelings as they way she describes them to me are completely alien. It maybe due to the advantage/disadvantage (delete as required) of, and I quote my teachers and boss, "If Ryan is any more laid back, he would be horizontal". I very rarely let anything get to me, and if I do I address it or the person causing it.
I'm the type to speak my mind, sometimes its a good thing, more often than not its a negative, as people don't seem to like hearing the cold hard truth. If someone is being a t
t, I'm likely to be the first to call them a tt!
Anyway, I think I've used up all the internet time you have reading just this post! So recover well and take the time you need, not what people think you should.
As a young boy I had dealings with Mental Health Teams and therapists, its too long ago for me to remember exactly but my mother tells me it was to do with my emotions, or the lack of. May have involved some sort of repression therapy or I may have just made that up. I cant remember exactly and I don't ask.
All I really know is that, like Sheldon Cooper from the TV show The Big Bang Theory, I can say "I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested!"
Speaking of TV shows, do you have access to DVD's or DVD players? Perhaps you could invest your time in a TV show that had a long run, something like the Sopranos, E.R, the CSI series? Some of these have over 300 episodes and could be a great way to bide some time for the rainy days when the computers are being hogged.
MarvGTI said:
as a person who doesn't suffer from the stuff we do will have difficulty understanding, coping and dealing with depression.
I can completely understand where you are coming from here! My wife had a bout of depression a few years ago during her final year of University. She lost a very close family member which kicked it all off, realised just how immature the friends she had actually were (what do you expect from drama students ) and things just snowballed from there.But she got better, with the help of medication and doctors. And had 3 or 4 good years, until last year she fell ill again. except this time it came in the form of Depression and Anxiety. The anxiety being the bigger influence this time around. She was offered a place in the local Mental Health Unit to begin intensive therapy, but declined as she couldn't face seeing anyone but me and her family. She became something of a hermit for a good 5 months, even the simple, to me anyway, task of going down the road to the doctors was a task that would see her curl up into a ball, and when she did manage it, physical and emotional energy it took would see her exhausted for hours/days afterwards.
Were working on getting her back to full health, but have realised she may never get 'fully' better and always be dealing with it in some form. She hand't been completely honest with me until recently that on a few occasions last year she had considered taking her own life.
I've been quite open with her and the doctors and nurses that I cant begin to understand how she has been feeling the last year, possibly because I'm slightly messed up too emotionally, but because I have never experienced anything remotely close to what she is experiencing, I simply cant empathise with her feelings as they way she describes them to me are completely alien. It maybe due to the advantage/disadvantage (delete as required) of, and I quote my teachers and boss, "If Ryan is any more laid back, he would be horizontal". I very rarely let anything get to me, and if I do I address it or the person causing it.
I'm the type to speak my mind, sometimes its a good thing, more often than not its a negative, as people don't seem to like hearing the cold hard truth. If someone is being a t
t, I'm likely to be the first to call them a tt!Anyway, I think I've used up all the internet time you have reading just this post! So recover well and take the time you need, not what people think you should.
MarvGTI said:
Eric, thanks you for your concern, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. We talked about this as well and are well aware of the risks - we agreed not do be each other's therapists and leave that to the pros and instead focus on getting to know each other, we understand if the other needs some space or time to themselves, so in a way I think it might be easier for me to be in a relationship with another depressed person than with a 'normal' lady, as a person who doesn't suffer from the stuff we do will have difficulty understanding, coping and dealing with depression.
We are very wary of leaning too much on each other as well as this might destroy the relationship that's only just blooming.
I hope you guys are all doing well and thank you for all the comments and keeping this thread going!
That's all for today, all the best lads!
It's an interesting one, and something I have thought about too. In some ways it's perfect since you have someone that can relate to the stuff you are going through, so you understand when to give space etc more. However the thing for me (perhaps more with bipolar?) is that often some of the mental illnesses are triggered by stress and so if one person starts going down it can affect the other person. Perhaps it's worth talking to one of the doctors to see what they say - I guess they've had experience of that before so can give advice? Certainly not wanting to be negative, but it can be good to have someone outside who isn't in the messed up position at the time, We are very wary of leaning too much on each other as well as this might destroy the relationship that's only just blooming.
I hope you guys are all doing well and thank you for all the comments and keeping this thread going!
That's all for today, all the best lads!
Interesting post Ryan, and it's great to see you've stuck by her during the difficult times. In some ways it is very true you don't know what they are going through, but normal people will have glimpses of it, so it doesn't mean you have no experience at all of things. Many people will have had depression at some point or another (perhaps if someone's died etc) and it will be similar emotions. The problem is sometimes it is worse than that for someone with clinical depression (i.e. lots of people don't try to commit suicide when depressed) and also lasts a lot longer. The main thing to know (which it sounds like you do) is to not go down the lines of "just snap out of it" or "think positive" as those just don't work.
Scored some more internet time now, yay, but this is going to be a quick one.
And it is truly grand of you to stick with someone suffering from 'the illness', it must have been hard on you and the relationship as well. I hope she'll get back into a more constant and stable position soon, even though it'll always be looming around her.
I wish you all the best, lad, also with you may or may not have repressed lmfao
Also I've heard that Shelly Cooper is a smelly pooper.
NRS, we both have told our respective therapists, our of fairness to them, the clinic and ourselves, and they don't disagree with a relationship. They know that it can both help and push back with a therapy like the one we're going through, and will help us keep an eye on things and intervene if necessary.
Both the lady and I have agreed to be completely honest with each other and our therapists, so that won't be a concern I hope.
Cheers guys, until next time.
ArsE92 said:
All the best Marv. Interesting thread and I'm glad you're sharing your experience with us. Also hoping for a speedy recovery for you.
Muchas gracias ArsE92!!RyanTank said:
<Very good input>
Ryan, no need for a DVD player, I've seen all The Sopranos, Sons of Anarchy, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Breaking Bad (the best btw), and I didn't really get to play any games these last weeks as well - I keep myself occupied with myself, my physique more precisely, instead of delving into other worlds - I found this has helped me enormously.MarvGTI said:
<Stuff>
<Personal Story> And it is truly grand of you to stick with someone suffering from 'the illness', it must have been hard on you and the relationship as well. I hope she'll get back into a more constant and stable position soon, even though it'll always be looming around her.
I wish you all the best, lad, also with you may or may not have repressed lmfao
Also I've heard that Shelly Cooper is a smelly pooper.
NRS said:
MarvGTI said:
<Depressed people relationship stuff>
<very good advice>Both the lady and I have agreed to be completely honest with each other and our therapists, so that won't be a concern I hope.
Cheers guys, until next time.
MarvGTI said:
NRS, we both have told our respective therapists, our of fairness to them, the clinic and ourselves, and they don't disagree with a relationship. They know that it can both help and push back with a therapy like the one we're going through, and will help us keep an eye on things and intervene if necessary.
Both the lady and I have agreed to be completely honest with each other and our therapists, so that won't be a concern I hope.
Cheers guys, until next time.
I hope you didn't think I meant you shouldn't, just it's good to check to see how things can go. I know I wondered if a bipolar person was better, but from what I read online it's a bad idea. I imagine it's a bit different for depression "only" as it were though.Both the lady and I have agreed to be completely honest with each other and our therapists, so that won't be a concern I hope.
Cheers guys, until next time.
Eric Mc said:
Sounds a rather risky endeavour to get involved with someone who perhaps has personal mental health issues when you are striving to overcome your own.
Of course, you may be able to share your mutual burdens so there might be some positive aspects to it - but I wonder what might happen if she starts leaning too much on you for support - or vise versa.
Disagree entirely, except for the point about what could happen if you lean too hard on each other for support. That's a danger, but then it's a danger in any relationship. Of course, you may be able to share your mutual burdens so there might be some positive aspects to it - but I wonder what might happen if she starts leaning too much on you for support - or vise versa.
Everyone has issues. Everyone. In a variety of different ways, and an enormous range of severity, but still.
Spending time with someone who has been through something similar to what you have is a wonderful thing indeed. It's likely that you'll find far more acceptance and understanding.
I wish you all the very best, and genuinely hope you find your way through.
speedysoprano said:
Disagree entirely, except for the point .....
Sounds like you don't disagree entirely then.....Of course there is always risk in relationships. The problem here is that both parties are quite vulnerable so the risk is higher, I would say.
I'm fairly cautious by nature. However, I do know that some people who suffer from certain types of depression can actually be higher risk takers than more "normal" people (whatever that means). It's part of their make up.
NRS said:
The main thing to know (which it sounds like you do) is to not go down the lines of "just snap out of it" or "think positive" as those just don't work.
One of her bosses said snap out of it too her when she had a mini episode in work recently. instantly she replied "can you snap out of being a bh? no so I cant snap out of being anxious" I laughed when she told me, but it actually helped others in the office see that is not something that can be turned off like a switch.She now gets away with speaking her mind to some staff, as they just put it down to her being crazy!
MarvGTI said:
Ryan, no need for a DVD player, I've seen all The Sopranos, Sons of Anarchy, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Breaking Bad (the best btw), and I didn't really get to play any games these last weeks as well - I keep myself occupied with myself, my physique more precisely, instead of delving into other worlds - I found this has helped me enormously.
And it is truly grand of you to stick with someone suffering from 'the illness', it must have been hard on you and the relationship as well. I hope she'll get back into a more constant and stable position soon, even though it'll always be looming around her.
I wish you all the best, lad, also with you may or may not have repressed lmfao
Also I've heard that Shelly Cooper is a smelly pooper.
I'm out of ways to help you pass the time then Marv that hasn't already been suggested!And it is truly grand of you to stick with someone suffering from 'the illness', it must have been hard on you and the relationship as well. I hope she'll get back into a more constant and stable position soon, even though it'll always be looming around her.
I wish you all the best, lad, also with you may or may not have repressed lmfao
Also I've heard that Shelly Cooper is a smelly pooper.
Getting into a good training/fitness routine can help the body and mind focus tremendously over a lethargic person battling their ills.
You've heard correct too, Shelly Cooper is indeed a smelly pooper!
Something I would do (but I realise it isn't for everyone) is short wave radio listening. Or even medium wave, I imagine there is a huge number of continental radio stations after dark when the ionosphere does it's thing. There may be a temptation to pick up a hairbrush and whisper "Broadsword calling Danny Boy..."
If you'd like some creative stuff, would they agree to a single embroidery needle so you can do cross-stitch or the like? There are some pretty decent motoring/motorsport kits out there, or whatever... I've no particular interest in the 'art' itself but making stuff is satisfying and making stuff I can give to my grandmother for her birthday, even better.
Marv,
I am very impressed with your honesty in discussing your situations, and tip my hat to you for doing so. As has been mentioned, Mental health is not a subject that is really discussed openly, although the recent sad passing of Robin Williams will hopefully bring some positive attention on the illness that is depression.
I notice you mention that you have access to percussion instruments, and would suggest that bashing away at a drum kit may be slightly better for your hands than the punch bag!
I wish you the very best in your journey, and hope that you will be re-united with your son as soon as possible.
Much love (in a manly way) and respect to you.
I am very impressed with your honesty in discussing your situations, and tip my hat to you for doing so. As has been mentioned, Mental health is not a subject that is really discussed openly, although the recent sad passing of Robin Williams will hopefully bring some positive attention on the illness that is depression.
I notice you mention that you have access to percussion instruments, and would suggest that bashing away at a drum kit may be slightly better for your hands than the punch bag!
I wish you the very best in your journey, and hope that you will be re-united with your son as soon as possible.
Much love (in a manly way) and respect to you.
NRS said:
I hope you didn't think I meant you shouldn't, just it's good to check to see how things can go. I know I wondered if a bipolar person was better, but from what I read online it's a bad idea. I imagine it's a bit different for depression "only" as it were though.
Duly noted and not taken in a way it wasn't meant to be Well I am bipolar, she isn't, but in a way she knows what she is getting herself into haha
speedysoprano said:
Disagree entirely, except for the point about what could happen if you lean too hard on each other for support. That's a danger, but then it's a danger in any relationship.
Everyone has issues. Everyone. In a variety of different ways, and an enormous range of severity, but still.
Spending time with someone who has been through something similar to what you have is a wonderful thing indeed. It's likely that you'll find far more acceptance and understanding.
I wish you all the very best, and genuinely hope you find your way through.
Sop,Everyone has issues. Everyone. In a variety of different ways, and an enormous range of severity, but still.
Spending time with someone who has been through something similar to what you have is a wonderful thing indeed. It's likely that you'll find far more acceptance and understanding.
I wish you all the very best, and genuinely hope you find your way through.
That was exactly our way of thinking.
Now, maintaining that is going to be the hard part, but that's what therapy can help with, right ?
Thanks for the words mate!
Eric Mc said:
speedysoprano said:
Disagree entirely, except for the point .....
Sounds like you don't disagree entirely then.....Of course there is always risk in relationships. The problem here is that both parties are quite vulnerable so the risk is higher, I would say.
I'm fairly cautious by nature. However, I do know that some people who suffer from certain types of depression can actually be higher risk takers than more "normal" people (whatever that means). It's part of their make up.
The risk is undeniable, but it's different (I hope) if you are actively aware of the risk. I am not much of a risk taker personally, never have been, and am fairly cautious, especially since being a dad, but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.
If it feels right, why not accept that and go with the flow ?
If it goes tats up, fallout will have to be managed, but that would be the case with a healthy person as well. Here at least, we both learn ways to deal with ourselves and our respective problems.
NeMiSiS said:
Hello Marv,
What were your immediate thoughts when you heard that Robin Williams had taken his own life?
Sorry for the blunt question, but that is how it was posed to me, interested to see what you say.
Also you have never mentioned medication, or if you did I’ve missed it, what are you prescribed?
Have you tried C.B.T - Cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnotherapy or any other alternative therapy?
Ah well, enough interigation for today, keep your chin up, get plenty of sleep.....
NMS,What were your immediate thoughts when you heard that Robin Williams had taken his own life?
Sorry for the blunt question, but that is how it was posed to me, interested to see what you say.
Also you have never mentioned medication, or if you did I’ve missed it, what are you prescribed?
Have you tried C.B.T - Cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnotherapy or any other alternative therapy?
Ah well, enough interigation for today, keep your chin up, get plenty of sleep.....
I was actually saddened, he was a gifted actor with a cursed mind, and in the end, it got the better of him.
Well, gifted for the most part - when he was at his best, he was among the best, but he could be absolutely sh**e as well (Eddie Murphy style).
To be fairly honest, with his history of depression and serious drug abuse, it wouldn't have surprised me if it had happened sooner.
In the end, if a troubled person commits suicice it will not be down to being selfish, which is often something that is thrown at people who have tried to take their own lives (myself included) - selfish towards the people they leave behind, their unfinished business, etc.
Since my attempt, I actually find it selfish of others to want me to live when clearly I do not enjoy life and just want out. Don't get me wrong, I do not want to be dead, I just don't really want to be alive anymore. Big difference.
In Williams' case, I'm just glad he got it done properly, because the worst that can happen after a failed suicide attempt is to find yourself in a position where you cannot attempt it again (think paralized, in a coma, whatever).
Death can mean freedom from pain and suffering, and in his case, this is what he wanted, and this is what he got. No need to force a man to live if he's lost the will to.
Hope this answer helps and isn't too bleak.
I'm not on any kind of medication, I come from a family where addiction is a big problem and I am very respectful and scared of the medication's effect. Also, I've got it in my mind that if I take something to make me happy, I will be aware that my happiness is only due to the meds. Something like an inverted placebo effect perhaps ? It's as if I know that chemical happiness is not real, which may not prevent its effects but cause a whole lot of other problems to crop up.
My therapists agree to leave me off meds unless I attempt something again.
Also, some of the side effects are down-right scary. At 26 I am too young for some serious anal leakage, ya feel me?
I'm not into hypnotherapy or other forms of treatment where I feel that I have to surrender part of the control I have - I like to be in touch with myself (cue laughs) and be completely aware of what is happening, what is working and what isn't.
HDM said:
Marv,
I am very impressed with your honesty in discussing your situations, and tip my hat to you for doing so. As has been mentioned, Mental health is not a subject that is really discussed openly, although the recent sad passing of Robin Williams will hopefully bring some positive attention on the illness that is depression.
I notice you mention that you have access to percussion instruments, and would suggest that bashing away at a drum kit may be slightly better for your hands than the punch bag!
I wish you the very best in your journey, and hope that you will be re-united with your son as soon as possible.
Much love (in a manly way) and respect to you.
HDM,I am very impressed with your honesty in discussing your situations, and tip my hat to you for doing so. As has been mentioned, Mental health is not a subject that is really discussed openly, although the recent sad passing of Robin Williams will hopefully bring some positive attention on the illness that is depression.
I notice you mention that you have access to percussion instruments, and would suggest that bashing away at a drum kit may be slightly better for your hands than the punch bag!
I wish you the very best in your journey, and hope that you will be re-united with your son as soon as possible.
Much love (in a manly way) and respect to you.
Thanks for the compliment lad, and I started this thread hoping it would draw some attention to depression - it can be a male problem as well and doesn't always need to be drowned in alcohol or other substances.
That said, I do shmoke ganj from time to time at home as it helps me calm down before I go to bed.
Percussion and punching bags are out of the question as I've been running around with a broken thumb for the past two weeks and it's only been discovered today (well not entirely broken, I don't know the correct term in English - the bone is slightly fractured right below the nail).
Thanks for the love and right back at ya, but in a totally manly way! That's guy love, between two guuuuyyyys.
Anyhoo, signing off again, long day behind me, long days ahead.
I wish everyone the best!
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