Jobs-worth LOLs
Discussion
MajorProblem said:
Had a job on where we were dropped on by a health and safety inspector sent from the principal contractor, he could not find a single thing wrong, which in turn got him worked up so he reported me for not wearing my safety glasses...
When I was having a piss.
I had that, got audited at work. Everything perfect, nothing wrong, complying with every stupid procedure they introduced. She found some miniscule, tiny thing incorrect.When I was having a piss.
Basically she admitted he had to find something wrong or her job was obsolete. Well perhaps she aught to get a real job rather than trying to find faults with people doing a good job.
New bar opened near me. I wanted a pint of lager
bar. We don't sell pints. You can have a half.
me. Why don't you sell pints?
b. We're European style. They don't serve pints.
m. Eh? Can I have a grande or large then?
b. Wot?
M. nevermind. You sell Guinness?
b. Yes.
M. In pints?
B. Yes
m...sigh. can I have two halves of lager and an empty Guinness glass.
B. No.
bar. We don't sell pints. You can have a half.
me. Why don't you sell pints?
b. We're European style. They don't serve pints.
m. Eh? Can I have a grande or large then?
b. Wot?
M. nevermind. You sell Guinness?
b. Yes.
M. In pints?
B. Yes
m...sigh. can I have two halves of lager and an empty Guinness glass.
B. No.
Buy a t-shirt from river island. Get home and find a hole in the t-shirt. Take it back and they don't have any in my size. As my wallet is bursting at the seams (so much so that I have to shop at river island) I leave it in the car and just take the card in with me knowing they will ask for the card used to originally make the payment to process refund. Girl on counter starts to process refund and asks me to sign refund receipt. I sign and she compares signature to the very blurred and indistinguishable signature on the back of my frequently used card. "I can't process the refund unless I can see that your signature matches the one on the refund receipt it's the law, do you have another card with your signature on?" She says. "i do have one in the car that's a 10 minute walk away" I reply. "See you in 20 minutes then" she says as she turns her head to one side and smirks.
Edited by Al U on Friday 1st August 10:15
Pulling onto the channel tunnel a few years ago in a lowered car the lady deciding on upper and lower designation points me to the upper deck , I ask politely if I can go on the lower deck as i know I'll get stuck on the upper deck because of previous experience , she tells me that if I get the lower deck place she will have to leave someone in England as I've taken their place .
I was met by a blank stare when I pointed out they could take my place on the upper deck !
I was met by a blank stare when I pointed out they could take my place on the upper deck !
Pulling onto the channel tunnel a few years ago in a lowered car the lady deciding on upper and lower designation points me to the upper deck , I ask politely if I can go on the lower deck as i know I'll get stuck on the upper deck because of previous experience , she tells me that if I get the lower deck place she will have to leave someone in England as I've taken their place .
I was met by a blank stare when I pointed out they could take my place on the upper deck !
I was met by a blank stare when I pointed out they could take my place on the upper deck !
I got a parcel delivery note from City Link ,so Icalled in at the depot on my way home from work to collect it (as I had done several times before) only to be told I couldn't have it without ID (never having been asked for any before), not having my wallet on me this was a bit of a pisser. What really made me want to kill the jobsworth b
d was when I went back the following day I was just handed the parcel without any mention of ID
d was when I went back the following day I was just handed the parcel without any mention of ID Yesterday, my GF had someone from the part-time worker coordinating office call her on her mobile to ask her to come down and complete the form she'd submitted the day before.
She was sure she'd done everything - put her employee number, name and signed it on the bottom.
When she got there, all that was present. The thing that was missing? Her name on the top as well.
"You must put your name on the top, otherwise we won't know whose it is."
"If you didn't know whose it was, how did you know it was mine?"
"Because your name was on the bottom"
"Couldn't you have just written it on the top?"
"No."
She was sure she'd done everything - put her employee number, name and signed it on the bottom.
When she got there, all that was present. The thing that was missing? Her name on the top as well.
"You must put your name on the top, otherwise we won't know whose it is."
"If you didn't know whose it was, how did you know it was mine?"
"Because your name was on the bottom"
"Couldn't you have just written it on the top?"
"No."
This is an experience of a government dept where they clearly have people working for them who can think for themselves and not be jobs worths; just a different side really and I was shocked.
The wife and I applied for passport renewals a few months ago; the wife filled in all the paperwork for both of us online and you then just print it off and post it to the passport office along with your old passports.
About 6 weeks went by and there was a message on the answer phone for me to contact the passport office, I rang them and got through to the person straightaway; what's that all about, she asked a few questions to check I was me and then queried my DOB, it transpired that the wife had filled in my DOB as the same as hers so the info wasn't tallying up with the expired passport, the woman on the end double checked my DOB with me, said "ok thanks, that is all, you will have your new passports in a week or so".
Sure enough they were with us a week later, to say I was shocked was an understatement, knowing what government offices are like and the sort of people who generally work in them, I was expecting to have all of the paperwork posted back to me and to have to start again, only someone with an ounce of intelligence and someone actually good at their job got it all sorted over the phone.
The wife and I applied for passport renewals a few months ago; the wife filled in all the paperwork for both of us online and you then just print it off and post it to the passport office along with your old passports.
About 6 weeks went by and there was a message on the answer phone for me to contact the passport office, I rang them and got through to the person straightaway; what's that all about, she asked a few questions to check I was me and then queried my DOB, it transpired that the wife had filled in my DOB as the same as hers so the info wasn't tallying up with the expired passport, the woman on the end double checked my DOB with me, said "ok thanks, that is all, you will have your new passports in a week or so".
Sure enough they were with us a week later, to say I was shocked was an understatement, knowing what government offices are like and the sort of people who generally work in them, I was expecting to have all of the paperwork posted back to me and to have to start again, only someone with an ounce of intelligence and someone actually good at their job got it all sorted over the phone.
Not a Lol, just 2 jobsworths we got stuck between.
Attending a hospital appointment with my daughter. We got there about half hour early. After queueing at the right department we got told that the forms had not been signed by issuing department so we would have to take them there.
We trundled to the other department, queued, and got the forms signed.
We trundled back to the original department, queued, and were told there was still missing information and we had to go back to the issuing department.
We go back again, queue, the originating department say the forms are fine.
We go back to the appointment, queue and are told the forms are still wrong and we have to go back. I refuse and suggest that as we're now running 2 hours late and the department closes soon, maybe they should just sort it out with the other department. By now the doctor were supposed to be seeing has a nurse searching for us as they know we booked in 2 hours ago!
They finally sort it out between them and we get to see the doctor, by now about 3 hours after we arrived.
Attending a hospital appointment with my daughter. We got there about half hour early. After queueing at the right department we got told that the forms had not been signed by issuing department so we would have to take them there.
We trundled to the other department, queued, and got the forms signed.
We trundled back to the original department, queued, and were told there was still missing information and we had to go back to the issuing department.
We go back again, queue, the originating department say the forms are fine.
We go back to the appointment, queue and are told the forms are still wrong and we have to go back. I refuse and suggest that as we're now running 2 hours late and the department closes soon, maybe they should just sort it out with the other department. By now the doctor were supposed to be seeing has a nurse searching for us as they know we booked in 2 hours ago!
They finally sort it out between them and we get to see the doctor, by now about 3 hours after we arrived.
Just remembered one guy at work who went into the Post Office to get his car taxed at lunch time (this was a few years ago). Very long queues.
He eventually gets to the front of the line, and asks to get the car tax.
The guy behind the counter smirked "Sorry, sir, you need to fill in the form and come back".
He looked back, and the queue was still very long.
"I'm afraid I can't read"
So the counter guy has to read out all the questions, and fills in the form on behalf of my colleague.
At the end, my colleague pays for the tax disc - by cheque.
He eventually gets to the front of the line, and asks to get the car tax.
The guy behind the counter smirked "Sorry, sir, you need to fill in the form and come back".
He looked back, and the queue was still very long.
"I'm afraid I can't read"
So the counter guy has to read out all the questions, and fills in the form on behalf of my colleague.
At the end, my colleague pays for the tax disc - by cheque.
98elise said:
They finally sort it out between them and we get to see the doctor, by now about 3 hours after we arrived.
Although a bad case of jobsworthiness - I was kinda expecting it to end with:"sorry - you can't see the doctor - you are late for your appointment"
That just would have taken the biscuit.
Cotty said:
I had that, got audited at work. Everything perfect, nothing wrong, complying with every stupid procedure they introduced. She found some miniscule, tiny thing incorrect.
Basically she admitted he had to find something wrong or her job was obsolete. Well perhaps she aught to get a real job rather than trying to find faults with people doing a good job.
I've been in the same positions and it's for this reason that I now purposely ensure that we always fail to follow one stupid procedure slightly resulting in a content auditor and a stress-free audit.Basically she admitted he had to find something wrong or her job was obsolete. Well perhaps she aught to get a real job rather than trying to find faults with people doing a good job.
Oh and I don't blame the auditor either, it's the ridiculous attitude of the auditors boss that annoys me.I think that auditor's have a place it's the fact that if the auditor can't find anything then they're not looking hard enough because clearly it's impossible that someone could get everything right.
tribbles said:
Just remembered one guy at work who went into the Post Office to get his car taxed at lunch time (this was a few years ago). Very long queues.
He eventually gets to the front of the line, and asks to get the car tax.
The guy behind the counter smirked "Sorry, sir, you need to fill in the form and come back".
He looked back, and the queue was still very long.
"I'm afraid I can't read"
So the counter guy has to read out all the questions, and fills in the form on behalf of my colleague.
At the end, my colleague pays for the tax disc - by cheque.
I have a new hero!He eventually gets to the front of the line, and asks to get the car tax.
The guy behind the counter smirked "Sorry, sir, you need to fill in the form and come back".
He looked back, and the queue was still very long.
"I'm afraid I can't read"
So the counter guy has to read out all the questions, and fills in the form on behalf of my colleague.
At the end, my colleague pays for the tax disc - by cheque.
Johnnytheboy said:
I was once refused a £2.20 tube ticket because I gave the guy 2 x £1 coins and 10 x 2p coins, because that many 2p's "isn't legal tender", apparently.
I had a 20p coin spare, I was just clearing out my change pocket. So I gave him the 20p but left the 2p's on the counter and said something like "here you go mate, take your wife out for a meal or something". He didn't like that, and started spouting something about trying to do his job within the law. Bell end.
Indeed - a lot of people think they "know the law" but who in fact don't. Legal tender has a very specific definition:I had a 20p coin spare, I was just clearing out my change pocket. So I gave him the 20p but left the 2p's on the counter and said something like "here you go mate, take your wife out for a meal or something". He didn't like that, and started spouting something about trying to do his job within the law. Bell end.
http://www.royalmint.com/aboutus/policies-and-guid...
For ordinary transactions - there are no legal restrictions regarding the quantity of denominations that may be accepted as payment between parties.
irocfan said:
tribbles said:
Just remembered one guy at work who went into the Post Office to get his car taxed at lunch time (this was a few years ago). Very long queues.
He eventually gets to the front of the line, and asks to get the car tax.
The guy behind the counter smirked "Sorry, sir, you need to fill in the form and come back".
He looked back, and the queue was still very long.
"I'm afraid I can't read"
So the counter guy has to read out all the questions, and fills in the form on behalf of my colleague.
At the end, my colleague pays for the tax disc - by cheque.
I have a new hero!He eventually gets to the front of the line, and asks to get the car tax.
The guy behind the counter smirked "Sorry, sir, you need to fill in the form and come back".
He looked back, and the queue was still very long.
"I'm afraid I can't read"
So the counter guy has to read out all the questions, and fills in the form on behalf of my colleague.
At the end, my colleague pays for the tax disc - by cheque.
He stated, quite aggressively, that is a bus stop and if I could read
I immediately replied with "sorry, I can't"
He immediately changed his tune and spent the next five minutes politely explaining to me what the words painted on the road meant and where I could actually park to unload my van in the future.
98elise said:
Not a Lol, just 2 jobsworths we got stuck between.
Attending a hospital appointment with my daughter. We got there about half hour early. After queueing at the right department we got told that the forms had not been signed by issuing department so we would have to take them there.
We trundled to the other department, queued, and got the forms signed.
We trundled back to the original department, queued, and were told there was still missing information and we had to go back to the issuing department.
We go back again, queue, the originating department say the forms are fine.
We go back to the appointment, queue and are told the forms are still wrong and we have to go back. I refuse and suggest that as we're now running 2 hours late and the department closes soon, maybe they should just sort it out with the other department. By now the doctor were supposed to be seeing has a nurse searching for us as they know we booked in 2 hours ago!
They finally sort it out between them and we get to see the doctor, by now about 3 hours after we arrived.
That's a whole different type of jobsworth Attending a hospital appointment with my daughter. We got there about half hour early. After queueing at the right department we got told that the forms had not been signed by issuing department so we would have to take them there.
We trundled to the other department, queued, and got the forms signed.
We trundled back to the original department, queued, and were told there was still missing information and we had to go back to the issuing department.
We go back again, queue, the originating department say the forms are fine.
We go back to the appointment, queue and are told the forms are still wrong and we have to go back. I refuse and suggest that as we're now running 2 hours late and the department closes soon, maybe they should just sort it out with the other department. By now the doctor were supposed to be seeing has a nurse searching for us as they know we booked in 2 hours ago!
They finally sort it out between them and we get to see the doctor, by now about 3 hours after we arrived.
and sadly the NHS seems to be their prime hunting ground i.e. vulnerable people at a time of need. Some of them have honed their skills to the point where they can go right to the line of where they're 'safe' and then take immense pleasure in the discomfort and upset they have caused.
Whether they start out like that? or it's the NHS that bends them out of shape I'm not quite sure, but it's quite telling when you have to put notices up stating that any threats to staff will not be tolerated.
There's a reason why otherwise complacent people suddenly reach a flash point, and very often it's not the system at fault.
Edited by RDJ on Friday 1st August 10:51
dai1983 said:
I once worked in the centre of town. They were refitting the multi story car park so it was closed for ages. There were even stories in the local paper about how it took longer than building the Empire State Building. During this time everyone parked wherever they could which usually meant on yellow lines.
One day I parked the car in my usual but temporary space. I noticed that there were also more than a dozen cars parked on yellows as was the norm at the time. I was then approached by a policeman:
-move your car now or I'll fine you!
-....... The car parks closed and there's no where else to park
-I don't care move now!
-err ok...... What about everyone else then?
-I don't tell you how to do your job so don't tell me how to do mine
A group of us bought a McDonald's late one night and were asked if we wanted to eat in or takeaway. We opted to eat in thank you very much. As soon as we started eating the guy moping the floor told us we had to leave as they were closing. My friend is but of a hot head and started arguing the fact that we had only just sat down after being given the option of doing so.
The guy said we had to leave so they could close. So my mate opens his burger and splats it on the floor. By now there's a full argument going on as we drag pissed off mate out to the car. Lastly he turns around and launches his milk shake at the large side window and it goes everywhere much to the mopeds delight.
Your mate is a dick.One day I parked the car in my usual but temporary space. I noticed that there were also more than a dozen cars parked on yellows as was the norm at the time. I was then approached by a policeman:
-move your car now or I'll fine you!
-....... The car parks closed and there's no where else to park
-I don't care move now!
-err ok...... What about everyone else then?
-I don't tell you how to do your job so don't tell me how to do mine
A group of us bought a McDonald's late one night and were asked if we wanted to eat in or takeaway. We opted to eat in thank you very much. As soon as we started eating the guy moping the floor told us we had to leave as they were closing. My friend is but of a hot head and started arguing the fact that we had only just sat down after being given the option of doing so.
The guy said we had to leave so they could close. So my mate opens his burger and splats it on the floor. By now there's a full argument going on as we drag pissed off mate out to the car. Lastly he turns around and launches his milk shake at the large side window and it goes everywhere much to the mopeds delight.
Moonhawk said:
"I have left some out because you have already eaten some"
Sure enough - the replacement bag was filled to about an inch below the top of the bag......
I didn't know the margins on popcorn were so tight. I guess we should have been angry - but instead both the wife and I found it immensely funny.
Anyone else have stories of jobsworthiness that you just have to laugh at.
Sure enough - the replacement bag was filled to about an inch below the top of the bag......
I didn't know the margins on popcorn were so tight. I guess we should have been angry - but instead both the wife and I found it immensely funny.
Anyone else have stories of jobsworthiness that you just have to laugh at.
I also love that one. I would have mocked the st out of that sulky little bd.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff