Jobs-worth LOLs

[anonymous-user]

I took 6 bags of garden topsoil to my local household recycling centre (AKA dump).
An hour later took 6 more and received a months ban as I'd used my quota ! ANPR caught me..
The next time I used the wife's car, I love living life on the edge

[Ekona]

I ordered a gammon steak at the local eatery today, asked them to hold the peas and tomato but an extra egg instead. They wouldn't, and charged me 70p for an extra egg

[surveyor]

Jimboka said:

I took 6 bags of garden topsoil to my local household recycling centre (AKA dump).
An hour later took 6 more and received a months ban as I'd used my quota ! ANPR caught me..
The next time I used the wife's car, I love living life on the edge

Similar vane, borrowed a trailer to take a load of ivy that had been stripped off the house. Third trip got told I needed a trailer pass. No problem I said - that's the last load anyway. Think they were just pissed off with cleaning up straggling ivy after us.

[carreauchompeur]

I'm so glad I have found this thread. fking hilarious, and the bane of my life.

The other day, I was served by a gormless idiot in Subway who tried to charge me for 2 six inch subs (the wife and I) and simply refused to put it through as a footlong!,,!,

[NRS]

carreauchompeur said:

I'm so glad I have found this thread. fking hilarious, and the bane of my life.

The other day, I was served by a gormless idiot in Subway who tried to charge me for 2 six inch subs (the wife and I) and simply refused to put it through as a footlong!,,!,

I think someone else has already made mention to that incident on this thread (might be mistaken though).

[MikeOxlong]

carreauchompeur said:

I'm so glad I have found this thread. fking hilarious, and the bane of my life.

The other day, I was served by a gormless idiot in Subway who tried to charge me for 2 six inch subs (the wife and I) and simply refused to put it through as a footlong!,,!,

Don't start that again.

[wildcat45]

I was in a very ordinary city centre pub one day when and old bloke came in and ordered a beer. The barman refused to serve him because of their dress code which said "No Caps". Clearly introduced to discourage Chavs wearing the then popular Burberry variety. The old guy was wearing a tweed flat cap.

I am not a sports fan in any way. I have no interest in it. I do however occasionally wear rugby style shirts. You'd not play rugby in them, no team logos numbers or anything. It was just a sweat shirt with a collar. No stripes, not garish at all.

I was in a perfectly OK pub when a staff member politely asked me to leave after my drink as I was wearing one of these shirts which he said was a football top. This was in a town with about 12 very nice pubs nearby. Leaving did not ruin the night.

[wildcat45]

Moonhawk said:

I bet the bike was going on Ebay..........I often wonder how much serviceable stuff ends up on sites like that.

You often see workers at the tip taking 'reasonable looking' items off people and carefully placing it to one side.

And the guy could have bought the bike for £20. Who would be the vendor? The council worker? Not his to sell. So it would be the council selling the bike, as such would it be possible to get a receipt? Had the bike been checked for defects/safety issues before sale? What would the buyers rights be if it was defective? Can a local authority make a private sale?

No it was a stty little council jobsworth on the make.

[Moonhawk]

Johnnytheboy said:

My neighbour told me this one yesterday, concerning our kerbside recycling service (like binmen only more jobsworth).

I had one involving them. I got a note on our recycling bin one day to say that they hadn't emptied it because there were "non recyclable items" in it.

When I queried it with the council - they sent somebody round to inspect the contents.

The offending item was a small aluminium tray.

Guy from the council: "we can't recycle that"
Me: "but its made from aluminium"
Guy from council: "exactly"
Me: "but you recycle aluminum cans"
Guy from council: "it's not a can though"
me: "so you can recycle aluminium......but only if it's can shaped"
Guy from council: "Yep"
me: "..........."

[Funkycoldribena]

Chap I know put his bin out but they didnt empty it as it was just inside his gate (slightly blocks the pavement if put right out).According to the council bloke when he rang up, "they're not allowed on the property".Come Christmas time he pinned an envelope to his front door with "Happy Christmas Binmen" on it.They took it.It was empty.

[bennyboydurham]

I once made the grave mistake of accompanying some workmates to Ikea for breakfast. Now I don't much care for their furniture so quite why I imagined breakfast would be any better is hard to answer. Anyway Ikea offered at that time a 'cooked' breakfast for £2, and boy did it reflect its keen pricing, both in terms of taste and in the kind of folk who were in evidence around the place, seemingly only wiling away a bit of time until Wetherspoons opened for lunch.

The 'cooked' breakfast came with mushrooms, which I detest. I asked the spotty young chap if I could miss out the mushrooms and perhaps substitute them for an extra sausage to accompany the sad, shrivelled up chipolata-style specimen that occupied the plate. He stated that this was impossible, as he wasn't allowed to 'swap veg for meat'. Whilst I remonstrated with him over this rather pernicious rule, he continually waved a sausage in the air with a pair of tongs, almost to help him punctuate his point. Unfortunately for him he waved it a little too vigorously and it slipped from the tongs and landed with a splash in the beans on my plate. I took this as a omen and made a dash for the till....

[ferrariF50lover]

Moonhawk said:

Indeed - a lot of people think they "know the law" but who in fact don't.

I find that a great deal of them work for the CPS.

[Chlamydia]

SunsetZed said:

Cotty said:

I had that, got audited at work. Everything perfect, nothing wrong, complying with every stupid procedure they introduced. She found some miniscule, tiny thing incorrect.

Basically she admitted he had to find something wrong or her job was obsolete. Well perhaps she aught to get a real job rather than trying to find faults with people doing a good job.

I've been in the same positions and it's for this reason that I now purposely ensure that we always fail to follow one stupid procedure slightly resulting in a content auditor and a stress-free audit.

Yep we do that too, purposely 'miss' a minor procedure knowing we'll get picked up on it. We then get a little brief on what we should have done and sit there nodding and looking suitably informed.

As for jobsworths, I had to get a new resident's parking permit and as I was near to the council office I popped in to get one. This council office has a long counter behind which is a big open office. The counter is marked so you know where to queue, (Parking Permits, Council Tax, etc), but there were no other 'customers' there when I went in. I go to the Permits point and ask for a new resident's parking permit and am asked for proof of address so I give her my driver's licence. Apparently I also need the paper counterpart. Okay no problem can she get the details from the council tax people who are sitting right next to her? Nope I have to bring in a council tax bill that has been delivered to the house. Okay, bit of a pain as I'm obviously not going to be able to get my permit that day and I know I've binned the last council tax bill, so I'll just arrange for one to be sent to my home as I'm there. I shift three feet sideways along the counter to the Council Tax section and ask if I could please have a bill sent to my house. Nope, I have to write in for that. I gave up at that point.
I moved six months later having never got a replacement permit and never having a parking ticket so they lost out on their non-refundable £75.

[All that jazz]

bennyboydurham said:

I once made the grave mistake of accompanying some workmates to Ikea for breakfast. Now I don't much care for their furniture so quite why I imagined breakfast would be any better is hard to answer. Anyway Ikea offered at that time a 'cooked' breakfast for £2, and boy did it reflect its keen pricing, both in terms of taste and in the kind of folk who were in evidence around the place, seemingly only wiling away a bit of time until Wetherspoons opened for lunch.

The 'cooked' breakfast came with mushrooms, which I detest. I asked the spotty young chap if I could miss out the mushrooms and perhaps substitute them for an extra sausage to accompany the sad, shrivelled up chipolata-style specimen that occupied the plate. He stated that this was impossible, as he wasn't allowed to 'swap veg for meat'. Whilst I remonstrated with him over this rather pernicious rule, he continually waved a sausage in the air with a pair of tongs, almost to help him punctuate his point. Unfortunately for him he waved it a little too vigorously and it slipped from the tongs and landed with a splash in the beans on my plate. I took this as a omen and made a dash for the till....

If that's true that's just hilarious!

[vrsmxtb]

STW2010 said:

sebhaque said:

Jobsworths really make me chuckle. I was once told off (over the tannoys, no less) for having the tenacity to fill my tank AND A JERRY CAN at the same time. Apparently it was risky to fill both with fuel and they cut the pump off halfway through filling the jerry can. When I went in and had a piss and moan that I was filling legally approved vessels of fuel and I would either wait and block two out of the four pumps they had until they safely drained my car tank of the £20 of petrol I'd put in as I only wanted to fill the jerry can for my lawnmower, or they could just let me fill my jerry can and I'd leave, did the manager come out and say that this was a "special occasion" and he'd let me finish filling my jerry can (of £1.63) of fuel and let me pay for it. I thought I'd let them know what I thought of their £1.63 and left them a present of that amount of tyres on their forecourt. By the way they were waving their arms I assume they were really pleased with my performance.

When I lived in a shared house as an apprentice I went shopping with two housemates. We normally did the shopping in pairs (as there were 4 of us) but on this occasion one of the housemates was away and the other had recently broken his ankle playing rugby. He was on crutches and needed some painkillers. We decided that it'd be easier to get him home if we just lumped our shopping together and split it three ways. This was a great idea until we got to the checkouts. The injured chap went last, right before me, and I had a few crates of beer as my birthday was in the next week. Having scanned through nearly 180 items, the jobsworth woman decided she wouldn't let us buy 2 packets of paracetamol, 2 packets of nurofen and 6 crates of beer (on offer). Apparently it was a risk because we'd commit suicide or something. Even pointing out the ID she'd just checked had a birthday occurring 5 days later and that one of us was on crutches, she decided against it. We asked her to call a manager, which she did, and we ended up watching a good 5-minute argument between the two. The manager obviously realising we were students and just wanted our stuff, her reasoning being that we were young and didn't know what to do with the stuff we'd bought. After the five minutes, with the girl on the checkout opposite sitting down and watching the argument, we tipped our trolley all over the floor (a dick move, but we were 18), put our injured housemate inside it, and just wheeled him back to the car leaving the £250 worth of shopping on the checkout. We went back a month later when our housemate had regained the use of his ankle and never saw her working again.

So, two stories of you (and friends) behaving like spoiled brats.

Perhaps it's time to grow up? Even if the above was a long time ago neither story is anything to be proud of.

There's actually nothing jobsworth about the second story - it's illegal to sell more than two packets of an analgesic product. The checkout wouldn't have let her put any more through anyway. You sound like a pleasant group of chaps by the way.

[R1 Indy]

Doing some work for a guy in a flat. There was an empty residents car park which I parked in.
The tenant who I was working for noticed a private parking warden taking a photo of my van, so went out and explained I was working for him.
Warden explained without a permit, I was not permitted to park, and claimed it was his job to now issue a ticket

It's pretty obvious to most that a fully liveried electrical van may be working for one of the tenants, and possibly in the tenants interest to let them have work done.......

Edited by R1 Indy on Sunday 31st August 09:48

[DoubleSix]

R1 Indy said:

Doing some work for a guy in a flat. There was an empty residents car park which I parked in.
The tenant who I was working for noticed a private parking warden taking a photo of my van, so went out and explained I was working for him.
Warden explained without a permit, I was not permitted to park, and claimed it was his job to now issue a ticket

Sounds fair enough. If you've ever lived in modern development with limited visitors parking you'll understand how annoying it is to have a constant stream of tradesman clogging up the available spaces.

If you were parking in the actual residents spaces, occupied or not, then DEFINITELY fair play. Do you mind people using your drive while you're out?

[R1 Indy]

Do I mind a tradesman I'm hiring parking on my drive, of course not........


Would you be happy paying a tradesman to be going for a 10 min walk each time he needs something from his van, just so he is not parked in a shared residents car park?

[DoubleSix]

R1 Indy said:

Do I mind a tradesman I'm hiring parking on my drive, of course not........


Would you be happy paying a tradesman to be going for a 10 min walk each time he needs something from his van, just so he is not parked in a shared residents car park?

Oh, so you were using his designated space? If so then crack on (and perhaps stick his permit on your dash). But your post doesn't read like that.

Edited by DoubleSix on Sunday 31st August 10:17

[STW2010]

Moonhawk said:

Johnnytheboy said:

My neighbour told me this one yesterday, concerning our kerbside recycling service (like binmen only more jobsworth).

I had one involving them. I got a note on our recycling bin one day to say that they hadn't emptied it because there were "non recyclable items" in it.

When I queried it with the council - they sent somebody round to inspect the contents.

The offending item was a small aluminium tray.

Guy from the council: "we can't recycle that"
Me: "but its made from aluminium"
Guy from council: "exactly"
Me: "but you recycle aluminum cans"
Guy from council: "it's not a can though"
me: "so you can recycle aluminium......but only if it's can shaped"
Guy from council: "Yep"
me: "..........."

I work in the waste industry and formerly was part of a local authority waste department. This sort of attitude doesn't surprise me and is simply poor intelligence (which is a common trait throughout councils- hence why I left, it wasn't challenging enough).