Jobs-worth LOLs

[DanL]

R1 Indy said:

Doing some work for a guy in a flat. There was an empty residents car park which I parked in.
The tenant who I was working for noticed a private parking warden taking a photo of my van, so went out and explained I was working for him.
Warden explained without a permit, I was not permitted to park, and claimed it was his job to now issue a ticket

It's pretty obvious to most that a fully liveried electrical van may be working for one of the tenants, and possibly in the tenants interest to let them have work done.......

Edited by R1 Indy on Sunday 31st August 09:48

At my block they'd have done the same, but then I'd have given you my permit to display... In the past I've arranged for temporary permits for people working in the flat for more than a day or so. All quite easy if the person you're working for thinks a little bit about their contractors.

[Newc]

Just bumped up against the 21st Century version, all online. A large faceless global megacorp, let's call them googol, has suddenly decided that I need to pass full money laundering checks in order that I may be permitted to spend $1.99 on a phone app. They request an uploaded image of a driver licence and a utility bill.

As I have precisely zero confidence in said megacorp's ability to keep my info securely, I blanked out bits of the docs that weren't relevant, including on my driver licence the last half of the serial number. Upload is rejected, I get on to the online only chat based help line.

Me - You've rejected my licence details
GFMC - Yes you blanked out some info
Me - You asked for Name, address, dob, expiry date ?
GFMC - Yes
Me - And those are all clearly visible ?
GFMC - Yes
Me - So what's the problem
GFMC - We need the full serial number for verification
Me - To verify what ?
GFMC - The licence
Me - How are you going to do that ? You don't have access to DVLA* and can't just type in my licence number somewhere and get all my DVLA details back.
GFMC - Yes but we need to check your details.
Me - You have all the details you asked for, they are clearly shown on the doc
GFMC - Except the serial number
Me - You didn't ask for that and it's no use to you anyway
GFMC - Yes but we need to see it to verify the licence
Me - <consider putting myself into cryogenic storage till after the revolution>

• Please please tell me that this is correct and private companies are not able to do database lookups at DVLA for personal ID data ?

[Dog Star]

Johnnytheboy said:

My neighbour told me this one yesterday, concerning our kerbside recycling service (like binmen only more jobsworth).

She put a whole load of clothes in her recycling box. We are allowed to recycle textiles, though you rarely see it in people's boxes.

She was at home when the lorry came and she watched the bloke grumpily pull all the clothes out, chuck them on the pavement and take the rest of the box's contents. She went out and asked him why he wasn't taking the clothes and he replied "they have to be in a separate bin bag."

So like the good girl she is, she put them in a bin bag the next week, with a label on saying "clothes". She then watched the same guy ignore the bin bag. She went out again and said "I thought you said I should put them in a bag." He replied...

"We're not allowed to take bin bags."

Winner!!!

From reading this thread it seems that the very worst jobsworths work for councils in bins/recycling/the tip.

I used to love it back in the day when you'd just rock up and just chuck it on the ground and drive off (although once my mum did reverse over some little traveller kid who was trying to get the jack and spare wheel out of her 305)

Edited by Dog Star on Sunday 31st August 11:13

[irocfan]

Moonhawk said:

I had one involving them. I got a note on our recycling bin one day to say that they hadn't emptied it because there were "non recyclable items" in it.

When I queried it with the council - they sent somebody round to inspect the contents.

The offending item was a small aluminium tray.

Guy from the council: "we can't recycle that"
Me: "but its made from aluminium"
Guy from council: "exactly"
Me: "but you recycle aluminum cans"
Guy from council: "it's not a can though"
me: "so you can recycle aluminium......but only if it's can shaped"
Guy from council: "Yep"
me: "..........."

and it seems like you need a degree for most council jobs.....

[TVR1]

Newc said:

• Please please tell me that this is correct and private companies are not able to do database lookups at DVLA for personal ID data ?

Nope, DVLA will sell your info for £1.25 + VAT. To pretty much anyone. The US *has, effectively, no data protection laws so a match made in heaven.

• other internet service providers are available outside the US.

[Zoobeef]

I have a couple.

First at a work canteen I ordered the set breakfast but asked them not to put the tomatoes on as I wouldn't eat them. (The type of canteen where they plate it up in front of you). I was told that if I didn't take the tomatoes I would be charged for all the items individually (resulting in a higher cost).
I may have written that story before on PH somewhere.

The other is my current work. The top boss requires anyone using the site to have tax/mot/insurance to get a car pass. I trailered my track car into work for a few weeks to work on it then went of to do some skydiving in California. When i got back apparently the guys on the gate had gone mad because they had wandered round the site and found a car with no tax, insurance or MOT so it had to be removed immediately. Even the guys pointed out the fact it has no number plates or steering wheel or interior and a big wing, diffuser and splitter shows that it's not used on the road. They were following their orders to the letter though and aren't able to use the brain cell they share. Obviously the top boss is fine with it as it's not a road car.

[Zoobeef]

Just to point out its not for his insurance or anything that the cars must be fully legal. It's just that he has a duty of care to us and wants to make sure we're legal when we leave.

[THX]

The Daily Mail were offering coupons for Batman Lego toys, to be redeemed in WH Smith of Toys R Us.

I'm 30 years old.

I couldn't bring to fund the Daily Mail, even if it is only a quid a pop. So I decided to ninja myself into Asda's newsagent section, and remove the coupon under the cover of Full Stealth.

Unfortunately, the eagle eyed 'jobsworth' till lady - presumably battled hardened through years of watching for school kids nicking crisps - spotted my scheme and, with a stern index finger, called me over

The pair of us could hardly make it through the telling off for laughing, and she promised not to call the FEDs so long as I paid for the Daily Mail. The terms were accepted.

In the end, every branch of WH Smith and Toys R Us in the North East had sold out so I ended up sending a begging letter to the DM asking for a free toy (neglecting to mention my attempted fraud, obviously)... My Lego Batmobile arrived around 8 weeks later!

[Cotty]

Chlamydia said:

Yep we do that too, purposely 'miss' a minor procedure knowing we'll get picked up on it. We then get a little brief on what we should have done and sit there nodding and looking suitably informed.

I don't even understand the latest. We don't have enough complaints lodged against us. Apparently people doing a similar job in other companies have a certain amount of complaints, we have none. I don't know if im supposed to ps off someone every now and again just to get our average up.



FFS even doing a good job is not allowed.

[BHC]

THX said:

The Daily Mail were offering coupons for Batman Lego toys, to be redeemed in WH Smith of Toys R Us.

I'm 30 years old.

I couldn't bring to fund the Daily Mail, even if it is only a quid a pop. So I decided to ninja myself into Asda's newsagent section, and remove the coupon under the cover of Full Stealth.

Unfortunately, the eagle eyed 'jobsworth' till lady - presumably battled hardened through years of watching for school kids nicking crisps - spotted my scheme and, with a stern index finger, called me over

The pair of us could hardly make it through the telling off for laughing, and she promised not to call the FEDs so long as I paid for the Daily Mail. The terms were accepted.

In the end, every branch of WH Smith and Toys R Us in the North East had sold out so I ended up sending a begging letter to the DM asking for a free toy (neglecting to mention my attempted fraud, obviously)... My Lego Batmobile arrived around 8 weeks later!

So she's a jobsworth because she is expected as part of her job to try to deter non-violent thieves and that's exactly what you are/were?

Or was it light-hearted and I missed that?

[DoubleSix]

BHC said:

So she's a jobsworth because she is expected as part of her job to try to deter non-violent thieves and that's exactly what you are/were?

Or was it light-hearted and I missed that?

The second one.

[Bullett]

Virtually all my bills, statements, pay slips, insurance certificates etc are electronic these days. I have had to supply original for a proof of ID. So, I rang them up.
"can I email you the stuff?"
"nope, need to be original copies"
"they are originals, it's all electronic these days"
"no we need original copies"
"Yes, they are online, so I can p send them to you to upload back into your system"
"No they have to be physical"
"So I print them out, post them to you and you?"
"Yes"

So something that I could have turned around in 24 hours has now taken a week.

[Bungleaio]

A couple of years ago I was sorting some old paperwork out and I found some documentation relating to two bank accounts with the Nationwide. I kept hold of it and the next time I was going past I called in.

I asked if they were still active at the reception part, the lady checked and said they are, I asked to close them as it was just over £10 in the two accounts. She said yes no problem just go to the cashiers and they will sort it out.

I duly que up and get served. The cashier says sure I'll have to do one at a time. She does the 1st and gives me a five pound note and a few coins, she then does the second and gives me some more coins.

Rather than having a pocket full of change I ask her if I can change the £5 worth of coins that she'd given me for a £5 note. Her response "As you don't have any accounts with us now you aren't a customer so I can't do that, I can only serve customers" :bang head:

[Mojooo]

Bungleaio said:

A couple of years ago I was sorting some old paperwork out and I found some documentation relating to two bank accounts with the Nationwide. I kept hold of it and the next time I was going past I called in.

I asked if they were still active at the reception part, the lady checked and said they are, I asked to close them as it was just over £10 in the two accounts. She said yes no problem just go to the cashiers and they will sort it out.

I duly que up and get served. The cashier says sure I'll have to do one at a time. She does the 1st and gives me a five pound note and a few coins, she then does the second and gives me some more coins.

Rather than having a pocket full of change I ask her if I can change the £5 worth of coins that she'd given me for a £5 note. Her response "As you don't have any accounts with us now you aren't a customer so I can't do that, I can only serve customers" :bang head:

TBF that may be down to somesort of technical reason like they can't open the till without linking it to a customer?

[paolow]

Bullett said:

Virtually all my bills, statements, pay slips, insurance certificates etc are electronic these days. I have had to supply original for a proof of ID. So, I rang them up.
"can I email you the stuff?"
"nope, need to be original copies"
"they are originals, it's all electronic these days"
"no we need original copies"
"Yes, they are online, so I can p send them to you to upload back into your system"
"No they have to be physical"
"So I print them out, post them to you and you?"
"Yes"

So something that I could have turned around in 24 hours has now taken a week.

Sounds a lot like my application for a mortgage with a 'Spanish bank'
Would have been the most stressful part of moving were it not for it being trumped by the sellers agent being a massively slimy prick. Which reminds me to dig out our correspondence where he invited me to leave feedback for him....

[Bungleaio]

Mojooo said:

TBF that may be down to somesort of technical reason like they can't open the till without linking it to a customer?

Nope it was a drawer that was still open from when she gave me what I'd got in my accounts. I could see it through the glass.

[0000]

Bullett said:

Virtually all my bills, statements, pay slips, insurance certificates etc are electronic these days. I have had to supply original for a proof of ID. So, I rang them up.
"can I email you the stuff?"
"nope, need to be original copies"
"they are originals, it's all electronic these days"
"no we need original copies"
"Yes, they are online, so I can p send them to you to upload back into your system"
"No they have to be physical"
"So I print them out, post them to you and you?"
"Yes"

So something that I could have turned around in 24 hours has now taken a week.

I had to supply scans of physical bank statements over email for an application earlier this year. Not having had a scanner since the 90s I took some pictures with my DSLR and sent them.

They were rejected; had to be a scanner, not a camera. After a few hours confusion pondering the difference I opened the images in GIMP, cropped out the table at the edges, thresholded them so they were black and white and sent them back. Passed the jobsworth test second time round but there's something about having doctored the images that doesn't quite sit well with me!

[Condi]

wildcat45 said:

And the guy could have bought the bike for £20. Who would be the vendor? The council worker? Not his to sell. So it would be the council selling the bike, as such would it be possible to get a receipt? Had the bike been checked for defects/safety issues before sale? What would the buyers rights be if it was defective? Can a local authority make a private sale?

No it was a stty little council jobsworth on the make.

If the guy is throwing it out then who gives a st? Better it be sold for a tenner by someone on minimum wage than be thrown into landfill or scrap metal bin.

At the local tip there people can buy all sorts of stuff. Not sure if its donated or intercepted between car and skip. Dont know where the money goes either, but its a good thing IMO. Anything which stops perfectly serviceable things being thrown away is good. Even broken things can often be fixed with a few tools, but we live in a throw-away society.




That said, a stty council jobsworth threatened to call the police on me 2 weeks ago for putting small bits of plasterboard in the landfill bin. They didnt have a plasterboard bin as that was removed a week earlier.

Luckily Sundays are more relaxed and big builders bags can conceal a lot of crap.

[THX]

BHC said:

THX said:

The Daily Mail were offering coupons for Batman Lego toys, to be redeemed in WH Smith of Toys R Us.

I'm 30 years old.

I couldn't bring to fund the Daily Mail, even if it is only a quid a pop. So I decided to ninja myself into Asda's newsagent section, and remove the coupon under the cover of Full Stealth.

Unfortunately, the eagle eyed 'jobsworth' till lady - presumably battled hardened through years of watching for school kids nicking crisps - spotted my scheme and, with a stern index finger, called me over

The pair of us could hardly make it through the telling off for laughing, and she promised not to call the FEDs so long as I paid for the Daily Mail. The terms were accepted.

In the end, every branch of WH Smith and Toys R Us in the North East had sold out so I ended up sending a begging letter to the DM asking for a free toy (neglecting to mention my attempted fraud, obviously)... My Lego Batmobile arrived around 8 weeks later!

So she's a jobsworth because she is expected as part of her job to try to deter non-violent thieves and that's exactly what you are/were?

Or was it light-hearted and I missed that?

"The pair of us could hardly make it through the telling off for laughing, and she promised not to call the FEDs so long as I paid for the Daily Mail. The terms were accepted"

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't looking for sympathy.

[anonymous-user]

Condi said:

wildcat45 said:

And the guy could have bought the bike for £20. Who would be the vendor? The council worker? Not his to sell. So it would be the council selling the bike, as such would it be possible to get a receipt? Had the bike been checked for defects/safety issues before sale? What would the buyers rights be if it was defective? Can a local authority make a private sale?

No it was a stty little council jobsworth on the make.

If the guy is throwing it out then who gives a st? Better it be sold for a tenner by someone on minimum wage than be thrown into landfill or scrap metal bin.

At the local tip there people can buy all sorts of stuff. Not sure if its donated or intercepted between car and skip. Dont know where the money goes either, but its a good thing IMO. Anything which stops perfectly serviceable things being thrown away is good. Even broken things can often be fixed with a few tools, but we live in a throw-away society.

I don't have a problem with that as long as they are paying tax on their ill gotten gains , either that or anyone dropping off should be allowed to 'recycle' stuff for free as part of the community effort rather than being a 'tip' workers scam.