Jobs-worth LOLs

[HTP99]

sc0tt said:

Having a new leccy meter fitted. Man knocked and asked was my mummy in??? I said you can come in. He said i need to speak to your parents cos its half term. I said i'm 27 mate...

Used to get similar when me and the GF (now wife) moved in here in our early years; early twenties.

[Animal]

AbarthChris said:

RobinBanks said:

AbarthChris said:

A mate I work with had a great one when trying to book a ticket on the Melbourne to Tasmania Ferry last month.

The ferry company had a promotion on, get a car plus 2 people for X dollars cheaper than the usual, think it was about $300 off... He wanted to take his motorbike, not a car but he couldnt see the option to book a bike so he rings the booking office.

He explains to the girl on the phone that he wants to take the offer, but couldnt see the option to book a bike... she replies...

Girl - 'The offer isn't for motorcycles'

Mate - 'Why not?'

Girl - 'The marketing team are targeting a very specific demographic'

Mate - 'What, couples with cars?'

Girl - 'Erm, yes. If you want, you can book on normally but we cant do the offer'

Mate - 'I don't understand, I'll take up less space than a car and you take motorcycles normally so whats the issue?'

Girl - 'Its not for bikes'

Mate - 'So if I load my bike into a van and book the van onto the ferry, I can use the offer?'

Girl - 'Yes!'

Mate - 'This is ridiculous.'

In the end, he ended up booking the bike on normally as his girlfriend was badgering him to go, so he just gave up!

I don't see the problem. The girl on the phone is following her instructions and her job is to do that. The computer system she uses probably doesn't allow her to include bikes.
And she even mentioned that the targeted demographic is car users. The company decided to target car users. Why should she circumvent the rules she has to follow?

You come across as equally jobsworth. Targeted demographic of car users, thats virtually every single bloody person in Australia, how do you 'target' 99% of people?

Also, this idea of blaming computer systems is usually bullsh*t.

Common sense would allow the two customers to book a bike, thus saving room, gaining two happy customers and increasing the effectiveness of the marketing campaign. Jobsworths just say 'computer says no'

Why not just book it on as a car and have extra space?

[All that jazz]

PomBstard said:

A few years ago me and Mrs PB struggled to get into a gig as she didn't have any ID on her. At the time we were both 35 and they wanted to confirm we were over 18. I love her dearly, but I couldn't tell her she looked under 18, and I've not been asked to confirm my age by ID ever - and I mean ever. In the end, the doorman's boss had a rational moment and let us in, but what's point?

Its like wearing a hard hat when working in an open field - no clue as to risk assessment "Oh, hang on, what if a branch falls down? Best wear a hard hat." Even when the nearest feckin tree is 50m away. "Ooh, but its a construction site, we're digging a trench, and our policy says everyone on a construction site must wear a hard hat" Just like the idiots who wear them whilst doing traffic counts or something equally likely to have the sky fall on their head. Pointless pillocking of the highest order.

You think that's bad, you'd lose the plot if you had to pick up a load out of a quarry or cement works. Just to load bagged OPC (standard cement) which is on pallets and shrink-wrapped you won't be allowed on site without :

- full face googles with vents. No vents, no load.
- ear defenders.
- hard hat with chin strap. No chin strap, no load.
- steel toe cap boots, must be lace up. No laces, no load.
- yellow hi-viz top, must be sleeved and have 2 horizontal and 2 vertical strips. No sleeves or orange instead of yellow, no load. Also must be fully zipped up, regardless of temperature.
- yellow hi-viz trousers, ditto above.

I kid you not, you have to dress up like an oil rig worker to load.... bags of cement.

[eldar]

All that jazz said:

You think that's bad, you'd lose the plot if you had to pick up a load out of a quarry or cement works. Just to load bagged OPC (standard cement) which is on pallets and shrink-wrapped you won't be allowed on site without :

- full face googles with vents. No vents, no load.
- ear defenders.
- hard hat with chin strap. No chin strap, no load.
- steel toe cap boots, must be lace up. No laces, no load.
- yellow hi-viz top, must be sleeved and have 2 horizontal and 2 vertical strips. No sleeves or orange instead of yellow, no load. Also must be fully zipped up, regardless of temperature.
- yellow hi-viz trousers, ditto above.

I kid you not, you have to dress up like an oil rig worker to load.... bags of cement.

Simple reason for that. "Where there is blame, there is a claim", so they follow best defensive practice.

[HereBeMonsters]

StottyEvo said:

She told me that she needed to see the IDs of my friends as we were in a group -_- despite them being and looking older than me and one having a particularly large beard. Awkward old bint

Er, no. Following the law, actually. And if she's a personal licence holder, she could lose her licence for not doing that.

theshrew said:

Yet another visit not long after was to take a old TV. The very same cheeky, hard faced bloke asked me if he could have it. His face was a picture when i said to him 'yes, if you want it go and fking get it' as i launched it into the skip as hard as i could.

Brilliant.

[Moonhawk]

HereBeMonsters said:

StottyEvo said:

She told me that she needed to see the IDs of my friends as we were in a group -_- despite them being and looking older than me and one having a particularly large beard. Awkward old bint

Er, no. Following the law, actually. And if she's a personal licence holder, she could lose her licence for not doing that.

For not IDing people who clearly look over the age of 18. Which law states that?

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/l_to_o/licensing_of_al...

She could be prosecuted if she supplies alcohol to somebody under 18 - or if the person buying the alcohol does so (especially if she suspects it may be being bought for that purpose).

But a licence holder cannot be prosecuted for supplying alcohol to somebody who is and appears to be over the age of 18 - just because they didn't verify that the person they were supplying were actually over the age of 18. The minimum requirement for licence holders is that they implement an age verification policy which requires people who appear to be under the age of 18 to be challenged for ID. Whether somebody appears to be over the age of 18 or not is highly subjective.

Also - it's not actually illegal for under 18s to consume alcohol bought by an adult. Children over the age of 5 are allowed to consume alcohol at home under the supervision of a parent or guardian. Also 16-17 year olds can legally consume alcohol on a licensed premises as long as the drink (beer, wine or cider) accompanies a table meal and has been bought by somebody over 18.

Shops and supermarkets refusing to serve adults just because they have a child with them goes directly against what the law allows - unless the shop/supermarket suspect the alcohol is going to be given to the child to consume unsupervised.

Edited by Moonhawk on Wednesday 29th October 10:14

[anonymous-user]

PomBstard said:

Its like wearing a hard hat when working in an open field - no clue as to risk assessment "Oh, hang on, what if a branch falls down? Best wear a hard hat." Even when the nearest feckin tree is 50m away. "Ooh, but its a construction site, we're digging a trench, and our policy says everyone on a construction site must wear a hard hat" Just like the idiots who wear them whilst doing traffic counts or something equally likely to have the sky fall on their head. Pointless pillocking of the highest order.

This. I had a big row with a site agent a few years ago. I was on a footbridge, inspecting the parapet railings by clipping myself on to the railing on one side, and then leaning over the other railing, over a main Trunk road. The agent went full-on spazzy at me because I wasn't wearing a hard hat, screaming up from the road below, leaning on his car horn to get my attention. He then reported me to my superviser for not wearing it, and told me to get off site. Wouldn't listen to my reasoning about a hat falling in to traffic, or the lack of any risk of head injury whatsoever, 6 metres up in the air.

A quick word with the contract supervisor had the agent bked, and giving a very sheepish apology. Gobby Newark prick.

[Daniel1]

James2593 said:

Ki3r said:

James2593 said:

This happened last year, buying the weekly food shop with the GF and in the with the shopping was some beer. As the old woman at the till scanned it, the conversation went like;

Her: How old are you?
Me: 20, why?
Her: Have you got any I.D for this?
Me: Yeah, [goes into wallet] why did you need to ask me my age if you're going to ask for I.D anyway?
Her: Because if you're younger than 21, I need to see some I.D, and you said you were 20.
Me: I am. But what if I just said I was 22, then you wouldn't want the I.D.
Her: ....[blank look]... Then i'd know you were lying and ask for your I.D.
Me: You wouldn't, because you wouldn't even ask for it if I said I was older than 2..1....... *sigh* Never mind.

Either she was really thick, or taking this challenge 21 too literal. I'm used to being asked for I.D, i've had it for 3 years now, ask for it or don't. Stop fking around with this challenge 21, 25 bks.

To be fair, its not the cashiers fault. They are told if you sell to someone who looks under 21/25 without ID'ing you'll be bent over and fked.

I look under 21, if she asked me for some I.D straight away, there'd have been no problem, the jobsworth bit is the fact she asked me my age unnecessarily.

If I was 17, and when she asked my age I said I was 22, then she doesn't ask for I.D, it makes the whole process flawed.

Sounds to me she was just asking you for ID. The fact she asked your age first was just a way of starting the conversation.

[RobinBanks]

Daniel1 said:

James2593 said:

Ki3r said:

James2593 said:

This happened last year, buying the weekly food shop with the GF and in the with the shopping was some beer. As the old woman at the till scanned it, the conversation went like;

Her: How old are you?
Me: 20, why?
Her: Have you got any I.D for this?
Me: Yeah, [goes into wallet] why did you need to ask me my age if you're going to ask for I.D anyway?
Her: Because if you're younger than 21, I need to see some I.D, and you said you were 20.
Me: I am. But what if I just said I was 22, then you wouldn't want the I.D.
Her: ....[blank look]... Then i'd know you were lying and ask for your I.D.
Me: You wouldn't, because you wouldn't even ask for it if I said I was older than 2..1....... *sigh* Never mind.

Either she was really thick, or taking this challenge 21 too literal. I'm used to being asked for I.D, i've had it for 3 years now, ask for it or don't. Stop fking around with this challenge 21, 25 bks.

To be fair, its not the cashiers fault. They are told if you sell to someone who looks under 21/25 without ID'ing you'll be bent over and fked.

I look under 21, if she asked me for some I.D straight away, there'd have been no problem, the jobsworth bit is the fact she asked me my age unnecessarily.

If I was 17, and when she asked my age I said I was 22, then she doesn't ask for I.D, it makes the whole process flawed.

Sounds to me she was just asking you for ID. The fact she asked your age first was just a way of starting the conversation.

Some people now do seem to believe that legally you must be asked for ID if you look under 25.

[Big Rod]

I was issued a producer for having a faulty tail light a number of years ago by a copper driving a panda car with a faulty tail light.

Edited by Big Rod on Wednesday 29th October 14:30

[Feirny]

I was asked in Morrisons a few weeks back how old I was at the checkout, I replied with 27 and she said she didn't believe me in a rude manner and asked for ID. Didn't even apologise when it was verified. Cow.

[Hooli]

Moonhawk said:

Wife had a good one yesterday.

She went into the Doctors surgery for a routine check-up that they had requested she attend - they then berated her because according to her medical records she wasn't due that particular check-up for at least another 18 months

Edited by Moonhawk on Tuesday 28th October 10:04

I've spent two years trying to get by gp to stop sending heart checkup reminders. I've never had a heart condition ffs, yet they can't remove me from the list they added me too.

[PomBstard]

All that jazz said:

You think that's bad, you'd lose the plot if you had to pick up a load out of a quarry or cement works. Just to load bagged OPC (standard cement) which is on pallets and shrink-wrapped you won't be allowed on site without :

- full face googles with vents. No vents, no load.
- ear defenders.
- hard hat with chin strap. No chin strap, no load.
- steel toe cap boots, must be lace up. No laces, no load.
- yellow hi-viz top, must be sleeved and have 2 horizontal and 2 vertical strips. No sleeves or orange instead of yellow, no load. Also must be fully zipped up, regardless of temperature.
- yellow hi-viz trousers, ditto above.

I kid you not, you have to dress up like an oil rig worker to load.... bags of cement.

Have done 20 years in quarrying and waste management - seen and heard an awful lot of complete arse trotted out by needless, lifeless, spineless, thoughtless, witless jobsworths, who would all be feckin jobless if I had my way. All incapable of doing a simple risk assessment and instead fall back on the mantra of the Risk Manager By Reading A Book And Attending A Course - elimination is the best prevention. Just cock off, the lot of you. Some things make sense, like not using a phone when going down the steps of a crushing tower, or in an area where 40t B-double trucks are reversing, so present it as that - don't extend it to preventing use of a mobile phone if walking in any area on site*, cos that's just being a tt.

• Actual case study - I have seen the policy with my own eyes, brought about apparently cos someone saw another person slip on the edge of a flowerbed whilst walking and talking on the phone.

[PHmember]

AbarthChris said:

A mate I work with had a great one when trying to book a ticket on the Melbourne to Tasmania Ferry last month.

The ferry company had a promotion on, get a car plus 2 people for X dollars cheaper than the usual, think it was about $300 off... He wanted to take his motorbike, not a car but he couldnt see the option to book a bike so he rings the booking office.

Whilst I agree that a bike takes up less room & it seems stupid - the offer was clearly for CARS - does your mate also throw a tantrum when the offers in the supermarket aren't quite what he wants?

[98elise]

AbarthChris said:

....Also, this idea of blaming computer systems is usually bullsh*t.

Its not bullst. Well designed systems will prevent you from putting in invalid combinations of data in a system.

[anonymous-user]

PHmember said:

Whilst I agree that a bike takes up less room & it seems stupid - the offer was clearly for CARS - does your mate also throw a tantrum when the offers in the supermarket aren't quite what he wants?

Could have guessed the username from the tone of the post. Typical PH Member...

[Roadster25]

eldar said:

Simple reason for that. "Where there is blame, there is a claim", so they follow best defensive practice.

Also an HSE investigation into a driver getting injured on site is likely to be hugely time consuming, disruptive and expensive, regardless of fault. Then there is the possibility of a fines as well as all the bad press for the business.

Much easier to take every practicable measure to prevent the man getting injured in the first place. If the worst does happen at least it may help in limiting the impact to the business.

[Antony Moxey]

PomBstard said:

All that jazz said:

You think that's bad, you'd lose the plot if you had to pick up a load out of a quarry or cement works. Just to load bagged OPC (standard cement) which is on pallets and shrink-wrapped you won't be allowed on site without :

- full face googles with vents. No vents, no load.
- ear defenders.
- hard hat with chin strap. No chin strap, no load.
- steel toe cap boots, must be lace up. No laces, no load.
- yellow hi-viz top, must be sleeved and have 2 horizontal and 2 vertical strips. No sleeves or orange instead of yellow, no load. Also must be fully zipped up, regardless of temperature.
- yellow hi-viz trousers, ditto above.

I kid you not, you have to dress up like an oil rig worker to load.... bags of cement.

Have done 20 years in quarrying and waste management - seen and heard an awful lot of complete arse trotted out by needless, lifeless, spineless, thoughtless, witless jobsworths, who would all be feckin jobless if I had my way. All incapable of doing a simple risk assessment and instead fall back on the mantra of the Risk Manager By Reading A Book And Attending A Course - elimination is the best prevention. Just cock off, the lot of you. Some things make sense, like not using a phone when going down the steps of a crushing tower, or in an area where 40t B-double trucks are reversing, so present it as that - don't extend it to preventing use of a mobile phone if walking in any area on site*, cos that's just being a tt.

• Actual case study - I have seen the policy with my own eyes, brought about apparently cos someone saw another person slip on the edge of a flowerbed whilst walking and talking on the phone.

I don't see the big deal meself. I work in quarries and landfill sites regularly so know to take the appropriate kit with me and ensure I'm wearing it when walking around. Now it's second nature and I don't even think about it any more. In fact, I've been on closed sites where the level of PPE is more relaxed and it feels strange not needing a hard hat and hi-viz etc.

[Ej74]

Wife was in hospital with Appendicitis

We are directed towards the bed she has been allocated

At said bed a nurse is sat in the visitors chair doing paperwork

We both sit on the bed as she leaves she states "Visitors can't sit on he bed must use the chairs provided.."

Epic fail where do we find these people...

[All that jazz]

Antony Moxey said:

PomBstard said:

All that jazz said:

You think that's bad, you'd lose the plot if you had to pick up a load out of a quarry or cement works. Just to load bagged OPC (standard cement) which is on pallets and shrink-wrapped you won't be allowed on site without :

- full face googles with vents. No vents, no load.
- ear defenders.
- hard hat with chin strap. No chin strap, no load.
- steel toe cap boots, must be lace up. No laces, no load.
- yellow hi-viz top, must be sleeved and have 2 horizontal and 2 vertical strips. No sleeves or orange instead of yellow, no load. Also must be fully zipped up, regardless of temperature.
- yellow hi-viz trousers, ditto above.

I kid you not, you have to dress up like an oil rig worker to load.... bags of cement.

Have done 20 years in quarrying and waste management - seen and heard an awful lot of complete arse trotted out by needless, lifeless, spineless, thoughtless, witless jobsworths, who would all be feckin jobless if I had my way. All incapable of doing a simple risk assessment and instead fall back on the mantra of the Risk Manager By Reading A Book And Attending A Course - elimination is the best prevention. Just cock off, the lot of you. Some things make sense, like not using a phone when going down the steps of a crushing tower, or in an area where 40t B-double trucks are reversing, so present it as that - don't extend it to preventing use of a mobile phone if walking in any area on site*, cos that's just being a tt.

• Actual case study - I have seen the policy with my own eyes, brought about apparently cos someone saw another person slip on the edge of a flowerbed whilst walking and talking on the phone.

I don't see the big deal meself. I work in quarries and landfill sites regularly so know to take the appropriate kit with me and ensure I'm wearing it when walking around. Now it's second nature and I don't even think about it any more. In fact, I've been on closed sites where the level of PPE is more relaxed and it feels strange not needing a hard hat and hi-viz etc.

Spot the HSE boffin.