Phantom pooing
Discussion
Rawwr said:
Hoofy said:
MajorProblem said:
Hoofy said:
Only a sensible answer here: any footprints on the bowl or seat before she cleaned it up?
Wonder if it's a visitor/foreigner squatting rather than sitting.
Didn't think of that, regardless why try and clean it up with your hands?Wonder if it's a visitor/foreigner squatting rather than sitting.
Reminds me of the time i used to work at comet after sales, all of us working saturdays would meet up for ale and a dirty curry the night before and come midday saturday the toilets would be a horrific mess, splatter all over inside of the bowl, half arsed attempts at getting the piss on target, and dear lord the smell!!
I used to use the disabled toilet to avoid it but one time i was presented with a baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
I used to use the disabled toilet to avoid it but one time i was presented with a baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
Reminds me of the time i used to work at comet after sales, all of us working saturdays would meet up for ale and a dirty curry the night before and come midday saturday the toilets would be a horrific mess, splatter all over inside of the bowl, half arsed attempts at getting the piss on target, and dear lord the smell!!
I used to use the disabled toilet to avoid it but one time i was presented with a baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
I used to use the disabled toilet to avoid it but one time i was presented with a baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
dazwalsh said:
...baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
Also known as a "crowd pleaser" or (my favourite) a "shoe box special" 
ETA: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sho...
Urban Dictionary:Shoebox Special said:
A dump that is of such impressive qualities (whether girth, length, odour or texture) that to simply flush it away would be unthinkable. It is therefore carefully transferred from the porcelain bowl to a suitable receptacle (such as a shoebox). At this stage, one can use the shoebox to demonstrate the excellent qualities of said turd to one's partner / family / co-workers or simply people you pass in the street.
Silent1 said:
I know of a phantom s
tter who was caught and the trap was so well thought out yet massively illegal.
They set up a hidden camera in the loo showing the doors to the cubicles but not inside at the end of each day or after an incident the video would be checked, not long after they noticed there was a pattern to the phantom of the bog opera whereby he would go after someone else had been in, always the same person but only if they went in after lunch.
So a trap was set, the person was informed that they were the unlucky bait for the poomaster general and the next day they were to go in after lunch but to let the camera owner know before hand.
Unbeknownst to the terrorist he had brought his paintball gun in so he waited for the chap to go in left it 30 seconds or so and burst in whilst shooting up the toilets, this solved the problem and the guy admitted he had a crush on the other bloke
he still works there to this day but is now only allowed to use the disabled bog
There's some strange people about - I remember a 'reality' supermarket/Police/whatever type of program where a chap would walk up and keep close to a chap stacking the shelves. At opportune moments he'd 'sniff' the shelf stacker's trouser region.. tter who was caught and the trap was so well thought out yet massively illegal.They set up a hidden camera in the loo showing the doors to the cubicles but not inside at the end of each day or after an incident the video would be checked, not long after they noticed there was a pattern to the phantom of the bog opera whereby he would go after someone else had been in, always the same person but only if they went in after lunch.
So a trap was set, the person was informed that they were the unlucky bait for the poomaster general and the next day they were to go in after lunch but to let the camera owner know before hand.
Unbeknownst to the terrorist he had brought his paintball gun in so he waited for the chap to go in left it 30 seconds or so and burst in whilst shooting up the toilets, this solved the problem and the guy admitted he had a crush on the other bloke
he still works there to this day but is now only allowed to use the disabled bog Seen a few 'dirty protests' in offices and factories I've visited, best was a massive fight between a couple of Jamaicans over the smell one had left in a cubicle.
In the early 90s I used to share office toilets with a fairly well known city brokerage.
The chaps used to have a very odd tradition called 'the Friday pile up'.
Basically involved everyone using the same stall, on a Friday morning after a massive Thursday night before, and not flushing.........was truly horrendous, I once witnessed a mound so large that it was above the level of the seat!! ......did make me giggle
.....poor, poor cleaners ......
The chaps used to have a very odd tradition called 'the Friday pile up'.
Basically involved everyone using the same stall, on a Friday morning after a massive Thursday night before, and not flushing.........was truly horrendous, I once witnessed a mound so large that it was above the level of the seat!! ......did make me giggle
.....poor, poor cleaners ......Sir Snaz said:
In the early 90s I used to share office toilets with a fairly well known city brokerage.
The chaps used to have a very odd tradition called 'the Friday pile up'.
Basically involved everyone using the same stall, on a Friday morning after a massive Thursday night before, and not flushing.........was truly horrendous, I once witnessed a mound so large that it was above the level of the seat!! ......did make me giggle.....poor, poor cleaners ......
ha, that is so odd its just funnyThe chaps used to have a very odd tradition called 'the Friday pile up'.
Basically involved everyone using the same stall, on a Friday morning after a massive Thursday night before, and not flushing.........was truly horrendous, I once witnessed a mound so large that it was above the level of the seat!! ......did make me giggle
.....poor, poor cleaners ......Surprised the building / maintenance people allowed it to happen, i guess money talks
Hoofy said:
Rawwr said:
Hoofy said:
MajorProblem said:
Hoofy said:
Only a sensible answer here: any footprints on the bowl or seat before she cleaned it up?
Wonder if it's a visitor/foreigner squatting rather than sitting.
Didn't think of that, regardless why try and clean it up with your hands?Wonder if it's a visitor/foreigner squatting rather than sitting.
Reminds me of the time i used to work at comet after sales, all of us working saturdays would meet up for ale and a dirty curry the night before and come midday saturday the toilets would be a horrific mess, splatter all over inside of the bowl, half arsed attempts at getting the piss on target, and dear lord the smell!!
I used to use the disabled toilet to avoid it but one time i was presented with a baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
I used to use the disabled toilet to avoid it but one time i was presented with a baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
Reminds me of the time i used to work at comet after sales, all of us working saturdays would meet up for ale and a dirty curry the night before and come midday saturday the toilets would be a horrific mess, splatter all over inside of the bowl, half arsed attempts at getting the piss on target, and dear lord the smell!!
I used to use the disabled toilet to avoid it but one time i was presented with a baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
I used to use the disabled toilet to avoid it but one time i was presented with a baseball bat sized log that was half in half out of the water. It was epic and disgusting in the same quantities.
Spare tyre said:
Sir Snaz said:
In the early 90s I used to share office toilets with a fairly well known city brokerage.
The chaps used to have a very odd tradition called 'the Friday pile up'.
Basically involved everyone using the same stall, on a Friday morning after a massive Thursday night before, and not flushing.........was truly horrendous, I once witnessed a mound so large that it was above the level of the seat!! ......did make me giggle.....poor, poor cleaners ......
ha, that is so odd its just funnyThe chaps used to have a very odd tradition called 'the Friday pile up'.
Basically involved everyone using the same stall, on a Friday morning after a massive Thursday night before, and not flushing.........was truly horrendous, I once witnessed a mound so large that it was above the level of the seat!! ......did make me giggle
.....poor, poor cleaners ......Surprised the building / maintenance people allowed it to happen, i guess money talks
The state you see public bogs in is the reason i do everything possible not to use the loo in public places. They are fecking minging.
+ some public loo's are meeting places for Gay blokes. Even if i was gay i cant say it would be fun to hang around in a stinky bog waiting to bum someone etc.
+ some public loo's are meeting places for Gay blokes. Even if i was gay i cant say it would be fun to hang around in a stinky bog waiting to bum someone etc.
Never done a phantom st, but one time I had chronic stomach ache at a new girlfriend's parent's house. It was either brave the toilet or st my pants. I chose the former. I don't know whether I had food poisoning or just some crazy bug, but whatever it was the smell was horrific. Nostril hair curling horrific. I left the toilet spic and span afterwards, I even checked under the rim for rogue splats. Despite leaving the toilet mint, she didn't stay my girlfriend for long :-/ I would imagine the smell put her off.
t, but one time I had chronic stomach ache at a new girlfriend's parent's house. It was either brave the toilet or st my pants. I chose the former. I don't know whether I had food poisoning or just some crazy bug, but whatever it was the smell was horrific. Nostril hair curling horrific. I left the toilet spic and span afterwards, I even checked under the rim for rogue splats. Despite leaving the toilet mint, she didn't stay my girlfriend for long :-/ I would imagine the smell put her off. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff