how to get a 3 1/2 yr old to sleep?
Discussion
Our 3yo is actually pretty good (most of the time)
The nearly 5yo can be a nightmare. Bedtime routine is fine and he will sleep until midnight 1am ish then he gets up and tries for our bed. I normally manage to intercept him and put him back but sometimes when it's late he is like a ninja and gets in between us and is just 'there' in the morning (it's a big bed).
It's the monsters apparently.
We have tried logic, monster traps, reward charts, gifts etc. We have now reached a tipping point and had a crying session last night (2am) which woke up his sister. My wife is weak to his crying, we need to break the cycle as I'm convinced it's now habit. If I intercept him he goes straight back to sleep, he all floppy and drunk with sleep.
The nearly 5yo can be a nightmare. Bedtime routine is fine and he will sleep until midnight 1am ish then he gets up and tries for our bed. I normally manage to intercept him and put him back but sometimes when it's late he is like a ninja and gets in between us and is just 'there' in the morning (it's a big bed).
It's the monsters apparently.
We have tried logic, monster traps, reward charts, gifts etc. We have now reached a tipping point and had a crying session last night (2am) which woke up his sister. My wife is weak to his crying, we need to break the cycle as I'm convinced it's now habit. If I intercept him he goes straight back to sleep, he all floppy and drunk with sleep.
Without wanting to sound complacent, we got our two girls sleeping properly from an early age. Consistent bedtimes and routine seemed to be the trick.
One advantage (which we hadn't thought of TBH) was that this meant they were very easy to babysit. So friend's would quite readily come and look after them if we wanted to go out (sometimes I think they were keen to avoid their own bedtime troubles, and were happy leaving their spouses to sort out their kids)
One advantage (which we hadn't thought of TBH) was that this meant they were very easy to babysit. So friend's would quite readily come and look after them if we wanted to go out (sometimes I think they were keen to avoid their own bedtime troubles, and were happy leaving their spouses to sort out their kids)
Bullett said:
Bedtime routine is fine and he will sleep until midnight 1am ish then he gets up and tries for our bed. I normally manage to intercept him and put him back but sometimes when it's late he is like a ninja and gets in between us and is just 'there' in the morning (it's a big bed).
It's the monsters apparently.
Made me chuckle, my 3 year old son is exactly the same as that, he'll go to sleep after a story all ok, but he'll get up in the very early hours, close his door and toddle into our room - sometimes one of us notices he's made his way in but if we are both dead to the world, we'll wake up to a foot or, more often than not, a smack in the chops from his fidgeting It's the monsters apparently.
BMRuss said:
Made me chuckle, my 3 year old son is exactly the same as that, he'll go to sleep after a story all ok, but he'll get up in the very early hours, close his door and toddle into our room - sometimes one of us notices he's made his way in but if we are both dead to the world, we'll wake up to a foot or, more often than not, a smack in the chops from his fidgeting
So true, why can they not just lie still.I've woken to find him sideways across the bed so we form a sort of human H.
Our daughter is only 18 months but we had massive issues with her not sleepingt hrough, which were totally our fault.
We decided one weekend, well I did, that we were going to break the habit and having had to physically restrain my wife for 3 nights in a row we finally got the first uninterrupted night - we celebrated with a bottle of champagne and apart from my wedding day it was the most relevant use of a bottle of champagne ever :-)
It is horrible and you will hate yourself a little bit, but rest assured it is worth it.
We have number 2 arriving in about 3 weeks so will be slightly more savvy I hope.
We decided one weekend, well I did, that we were going to break the habit and having had to physically restrain my wife for 3 nights in a row we finally got the first uninterrupted night - we celebrated with a bottle of champagne and apart from my wedding day it was the most relevant use of a bottle of champagne ever :-)
It is horrible and you will hate yourself a little bit, but rest assured it is worth it.
We have number 2 arriving in about 3 weeks so will be slightly more savvy I hope.
I'm so glad it's not just us.HTP99 said:
UncappedTag said:
HTP99 said:
There's your problem.
We were firm with our two straight off and they've always stayed in bed; give kids an inch and they will take the piss, particularly with soft parents.
must be fun in your household.We were firm with our two straight off and they've always stayed in bed; give kids an inch and they will take the piss, particularly with soft parents.
t and aren't scared to upset their little darlings with discipline, they will soon learn and life will be far easier and enjoyable for bit he parties. Many kids are like they are today as they have parents who are either weak and don't want to upset their little darlings or they have parents who want to be their kids friend rather than a parent.
sprinterjk said:
We have a 3 3/4 year old daughter who has never been a good sleeper, and seems to need a lot less than other children. We tried all sorts of things, including gro-clocks, black out blinds, stories to listen to on the ipod etc etc. What worked for us in the end was just routine, making sure we always did bedtime consistently.
We have noticed that in the last few months she hasn't been as tired as before. Whereas earlier this year she was going to bed between 7pm-8pm, she now rarely falls asleep until after 9pm. Still gets up around 7am though. Depending on what time you're trying to put your daughter to bed, it may be that she's just not tired?
Or overtired if going to bed too late? We have noticed that in the last few months she hasn't been as tired as before. Whereas earlier this year she was going to bed between 7pm-8pm, she now rarely falls asleep until after 9pm. Still gets up around 7am though. Depending on what time you're trying to put your daughter to bed, it may be that she's just not tired?
Another vote for MTFU. They're pushing boundaries at that age and you *have* to be consistent and not give in.
Our first was a nightmare to get off to sleep, we 'cracked' at 5mo and enforced a routine. It made a massive difference and while it changed slightly when our second came along both of them are *really* good sleepers now. Our little one has always been probably because we enforced the routine from a very young age.
Relating somewhat to your problem now, the first night when we removed the cot side wasn't fun, we just returned him to bed, took about 2 hours the first night. Put him in bed, say "night night, time for sleep", leave. Repeat 5000 times. Second night he tried it once.
A while later when he started coming out of his room we put a stair gate on his door and repeated taking him back to bed. First night again, lots of times. Second night a few times. After that he'd try occasionally. After a while when he was consistently being good we told him that we'd leave the gate open if he stayed in his room until his "night time clock" (gro-clock) said it was morning. After a while we took it off totally, although had to replace it once after he refused to go back to bed and threatened him with it (always carry through your threats). I think we took it off when he was about 3 1/2 or so.
Essentially our routine is:
8PM bed time. Alarm (on phone) goes off. Sometimes if they're in the middle of things and it's only a few minutes will let them stay a few minutes more but once it's been announced "bed time" that's it, no arguments, its upstairs to bed or reflection step.
Then get them changed, teeth, stories (two books or two chapters from long books), while little one has milk, older one (4yo) has last wee then to bed, set gro-clock[1] 60 seconds of cuddle then leave[2]. Youngest (2yo) finishes milk then cuddles and bed (in cot still).
It's rare that we hear a peep until after 7am. If my eldest comes in before his "night-time clock" says it's "morning" then he gets asked to go back to bed. If he refuses he's taken back.
Things to remember are
1) Routine.
2) Consistency
3) Never give up or back down.
4) If you make a threat carry it out.
5) Don't make a threat you're not prepared to carry out.
Good luck!
[1] Hell *I* have to look at a clock to know if it's morning or the middle of the night, how is a 3yo meant to know it's not morning when it's bright and sunny outside?
[2] Again this is down to setting boundaries, he gets a single cuddle of 60s as otherwise he'll want to cuddle all night/fall asleep with you cuddling him. Again there was tears but now he knows that it's 60s cuddle and he's happy.
Our first was a nightmare to get off to sleep, we 'cracked' at 5mo and enforced a routine. It made a massive difference and while it changed slightly when our second came along both of them are *really* good sleepers now. Our little one has always been probably because we enforced the routine from a very young age.
Relating somewhat to your problem now, the first night when we removed the cot side wasn't fun, we just returned him to bed, took about 2 hours the first night. Put him in bed, say "night night, time for sleep", leave. Repeat 5000 times. Second night he tried it once.
A while later when he started coming out of his room we put a stair gate on his door and repeated taking him back to bed. First night again, lots of times. Second night a few times. After that he'd try occasionally. After a while when he was consistently being good we told him that we'd leave the gate open if he stayed in his room until his "night time clock" (gro-clock) said it was morning. After a while we took it off totally, although had to replace it once after he refused to go back to bed and threatened him with it (always carry through your threats). I think we took it off when he was about 3 1/2 or so.
Essentially our routine is:
8PM bed time. Alarm (on phone) goes off. Sometimes if they're in the middle of things and it's only a few minutes will let them stay a few minutes more but once it's been announced "bed time" that's it, no arguments, its upstairs to bed or reflection step.
Then get them changed, teeth, stories (two books or two chapters from long books), while little one has milk, older one (4yo) has last wee then to bed, set gro-clock[1] 60 seconds of cuddle then leave[2]. Youngest (2yo) finishes milk then cuddles and bed (in cot still).
It's rare that we hear a peep until after 7am. If my eldest comes in before his "night-time clock" says it's "morning" then he gets asked to go back to bed. If he refuses he's taken back.
Things to remember are
1) Routine.
2) Consistency
3) Never give up or back down.
4) If you make a threat carry it out.
5) Don't make a threat you're not prepared to carry out.
Good luck!
[1] Hell *I* have to look at a clock to know if it's morning or the middle of the night, how is a 3yo meant to know it's not morning when it's bright and sunny outside?
[2] Again this is down to setting boundaries, he gets a single cuddle of 60s as otherwise he'll want to cuddle all night/fall asleep with you cuddling him. Again there was tears but now he knows that it's 60s cuddle and he's happy.
Fastdruid said:
Another vote for MTFU. They're pushing boundaries at that age and you *have* to be consistent and not give in.
Our first was a nightmare to get off to sleep, we 'cracked' at 5mo and enforced a routine. It made a massive difference and while it changed slightly when our second came along both of them are *really* good sleepers now. Our little one has always been probably because we enforced the routine from a very young age.
Relating somewhat to your problem now, the first night when we removed the cot side wasn't fun, we just returned him to bed, took about 2 hours the first night. Put him in bed, say "night night, time for sleep", leave. Repeat 5000 times. Second night he tried it once.
A while later when he started coming out of his room we put a stair gate on his door and repeated taking him back to bed. First night again, lots of times. Second night a few times. After that he'd try occasionally. After a while when he was consistently being good we told him that we'd leave the gate open if he stayed in his room until his "night time clock" (gro-clock) said it was morning. After a while we took it off totally, although had to replace it once after he refused to go back to bed and threatened him with it (always carry through your threats). I think we took it off when he was about 3 1/2 or so.
Essentially our routine is:
8PM bed time. Alarm (on phone) goes off. Sometimes if they're in the middle of things and it's only a few minutes will let them stay a few minutes more but once it's been announced "bed time" that's it, no arguments, its upstairs to bed or reflection step.
Then get them changed, teeth, stories (two books or two chapters from long books), while little one has milk, older one (4yo) has last wee then to bed, set gro-clock[1] 60 seconds of cuddle then leave[2]. Youngest (2yo) finishes milk then cuddles and bed (in cot still).
It's rare that we hear a peep until after 7am. If my eldest comes in before his "night-time clock" says it's "morning" then he gets asked to go back to bed. If he refuses he's taken back.
Things to remember are
1) Routine.
2) Consistency
3) Never give up or back down.
4) If you make a threat carry it out.
5) Don't make a threat you're not prepared to carry out.
Good luck!
[1] Hell *I* have to look at a clock to know if it's morning or the middle of the night, how is a 3yo meant to know it's not morning when it's bright and sunny outside?
[2] Again this is down to setting boundaries, he gets a single cuddle of 60s as otherwise he'll want to cuddle all night/fall asleep with you cuddling him. Again there was tears but now he knows that it's 60s cuddle and he's happy.
alarm for night time seems a good ideaOur first was a nightmare to get off to sleep, we 'cracked' at 5mo and enforced a routine. It made a massive difference and while it changed slightly when our second came along both of them are *really* good sleepers now. Our little one has always been probably because we enforced the routine from a very young age.
Relating somewhat to your problem now, the first night when we removed the cot side wasn't fun, we just returned him to bed, took about 2 hours the first night. Put him in bed, say "night night, time for sleep", leave. Repeat 5000 times. Second night he tried it once.
A while later when he started coming out of his room we put a stair gate on his door and repeated taking him back to bed. First night again, lots of times. Second night a few times. After that he'd try occasionally. After a while when he was consistently being good we told him that we'd leave the gate open if he stayed in his room until his "night time clock" (gro-clock) said it was morning. After a while we took it off totally, although had to replace it once after he refused to go back to bed and threatened him with it (always carry through your threats). I think we took it off when he was about 3 1/2 or so.
Essentially our routine is:
8PM bed time. Alarm (on phone) goes off. Sometimes if they're in the middle of things and it's only a few minutes will let them stay a few minutes more but once it's been announced "bed time" that's it, no arguments, its upstairs to bed or reflection step.
Then get them changed, teeth, stories (two books or two chapters from long books), while little one has milk, older one (4yo) has last wee then to bed, set gro-clock[1] 60 seconds of cuddle then leave[2]. Youngest (2yo) finishes milk then cuddles and bed (in cot still).
It's rare that we hear a peep until after 7am. If my eldest comes in before his "night-time clock" says it's "morning" then he gets asked to go back to bed. If he refuses he's taken back.
Things to remember are
1) Routine.
2) Consistency
3) Never give up or back down.
4) If you make a threat carry it out.
5) Don't make a threat you're not prepared to carry out.
Good luck!
[1] Hell *I* have to look at a clock to know if it's morning or the middle of the night, how is a 3yo meant to know it's not morning when it's bright and sunny outside?
[2] Again this is down to setting boundaries, he gets a single cuddle of 60s as otherwise he'll want to cuddle all night/fall asleep with you cuddling him. Again there was tears but now he knows that it's 60s cuddle and he's happy.
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