Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
shirt said:
As for advertising wealth, well that's just as stupid as the women who advertise their tits and lingerie who'd be 'attracted' to you for doing it.
I think men who overtly display their assets and women who overh display their assets, often find a mutually accepting audience in each other TBH 
My worst recent date:
Had been messaging back and forth to a 50 year old lady who stated "I'd prefer it if you ran your own business as I have experience in this and you'll understand the work ethic required"
She described her house as "Immaculate but I prefer to pay someone to keep it that way"
She asked if I could pick her up at home (!?), odd but I did, when I arrived her daughter was sitting outside on the floor of a grubby patio with two cats on her lap and smoking a cigarette. There was a musty smell and when my date came out I could see the unkempt state of the house and old stained carpets. Even though she'd clearly used a wheelbarrow and shovel when applying her makeup for a 50 year old she looked suspiciously like 60.
That was when I should have left but it felt too awkward.
We went for a drink and she told me that she'd had her own business as a 'Nail technician' but it hadn't worked out and she was now employed in a discount shop filling shelves.
She was honest enough to tell me that the house was rented, she lived there with her adult son and daughter as she couldn't afford a place of her own, she was also $40,000 in debt and slowly paying it off.
So, ticking all the right boxes so far.....
We finished our drink (one) and I intimated that it was time to take her home, she took this the wrong way and seemed quite happy about it because she thought home meant bed, I picked up on that after she said "When I let go it's all on!", although she softened the blow slightly by saying "I dont like a mans tongue in my mouth, it feels like a slug, anything else is ok".
Righty ho.....
On the way back we had to stop at a cash machine to see if her wages had had been paid because she was running low on cigarettes, they hadn't and she gave me a sad look of "Lend us a tenner" without actually asking. I didn't.
I parked outside her house, got out and opened her door, I gave her a hug and thanked her, she looked confused and disappointed but kind of resigned that she'd be spending the evening alone and without any cigarettes.
I drove home feeling elated and free but with less faith in humanity, a massive whisky helped and by the time I'd finished the 2nd one I was back online trawling through pages of 50 year olds who were really 60, so I guess they'll be another story to tell you shortly
Had been messaging back and forth to a 50 year old lady who stated "I'd prefer it if you ran your own business as I have experience in this and you'll understand the work ethic required"
She described her house as "Immaculate but I prefer to pay someone to keep it that way"
She asked if I could pick her up at home (!?), odd but I did, when I arrived her daughter was sitting outside on the floor of a grubby patio with two cats on her lap and smoking a cigarette. There was a musty smell and when my date came out I could see the unkempt state of the house and old stained carpets. Even though she'd clearly used a wheelbarrow and shovel when applying her makeup for a 50 year old she looked suspiciously like 60.
That was when I should have left but it felt too awkward.
We went for a drink and she told me that she'd had her own business as a 'Nail technician' but it hadn't worked out and she was now employed in a discount shop filling shelves.
She was honest enough to tell me that the house was rented, she lived there with her adult son and daughter as she couldn't afford a place of her own, she was also $40,000 in debt and slowly paying it off.
So, ticking all the right boxes so far.....
We finished our drink (one) and I intimated that it was time to take her home, she took this the wrong way and seemed quite happy about it because she thought home meant bed, I picked up on that after she said "When I let go it's all on!", although she softened the blow slightly by saying "I dont like a mans tongue in my mouth, it feels like a slug, anything else is ok".
Righty ho.....
On the way back we had to stop at a cash machine to see if her wages had had been paid because she was running low on cigarettes, they hadn't and she gave me a sad look of "Lend us a tenner" without actually asking. I didn't.
I parked outside her house, got out and opened her door, I gave her a hug and thanked her, she looked confused and disappointed but kind of resigned that she'd be spending the evening alone and without any cigarettes.
I drove home feeling elated and free but with less faith in humanity, a massive whisky helped and by the time I'd finished the 2nd one I was back online trawling through pages of 50 year olds who were really 60, so I guess they'll be another story to tell you shortly
cheddar said:
My worst recent date:
Had been messaging back and forth to a 50 year old lady who stated "I'd prefer it if you ran your own business as I have experience in this and you'll understand the work ethic required"
She described her house as "Immaculate but I prefer to pay someone to keep it that way"
She asked if I could pick her up at home (!?), odd but I did, when I arrived her daughter was sitting outside on the floor of a grubby patio with two cats on her lap and smoking a cigarette. There was a musty smell and when my date came out I could see the unkempt state of the house and old stained carpets. Even though she'd clearly used a wheelbarrow and shovel when applying her makeup for a 50 year old she looked suspiciously like 60.
That was when I should have left but it felt too awkward.
We went for a drink and she told me that she'd had her own business as a 'Nail technician' but it hadn't worked out and she was now employed in a discount shop filling shelves.
She was honest enough to tell me that the house was rented, she lived there with her adult son and daughter as she couldn't afford a place of her own, she was also $40,000 in debt and slowly paying it off.
So, ticking all the right boxes so far.....
We finished our drink (one) and I intimated that it was time to take her home, she took this the wrong way and seemed quite happy about it because she thought home meant bed, I picked up on that after she said "When I let go it's all on!", although she softened the blow slightly by saying "I dont like a mans tongue in my mouth, it feels like a slug, anything else is ok".
Righty ho.....
On the way back we had to stop at a cash machine to see if her wages had had been paid because she was running low on cigarettes, they hadn't and she gave me a sad look of "Lend us a tenner" without actually asking. I didn't.
I parked outside her house, got out and opened her door, I gave her a hug and thanked her, she looked confused and disappointed but kind of resigned that she'd be spending the evening alone and without any cigarettes.
I drove home feeling elated and free but with less faith in humanity, a massive whisky helped and by the time I'd finished the 2nd one I was back online trawling through pages of 50 year olds who were really 60, so I guess they'll be another story to tell you shortly
Fair play to you for taking her for one drink mate.Had been messaging back and forth to a 50 year old lady who stated "I'd prefer it if you ran your own business as I have experience in this and you'll understand the work ethic required"
She described her house as "Immaculate but I prefer to pay someone to keep it that way"
She asked if I could pick her up at home (!?), odd but I did, when I arrived her daughter was sitting outside on the floor of a grubby patio with two cats on her lap and smoking a cigarette. There was a musty smell and when my date came out I could see the unkempt state of the house and old stained carpets. Even though she'd clearly used a wheelbarrow and shovel when applying her makeup for a 50 year old she looked suspiciously like 60.
That was when I should have left but it felt too awkward.
We went for a drink and she told me that she'd had her own business as a 'Nail technician' but it hadn't worked out and she was now employed in a discount shop filling shelves.
She was honest enough to tell me that the house was rented, she lived there with her adult son and daughter as she couldn't afford a place of her own, she was also $40,000 in debt and slowly paying it off.
So, ticking all the right boxes so far.....
We finished our drink (one) and I intimated that it was time to take her home, she took this the wrong way and seemed quite happy about it because she thought home meant bed, I picked up on that after she said "When I let go it's all on!", although she softened the blow slightly by saying "I dont like a mans tongue in my mouth, it feels like a slug, anything else is ok".
Righty ho.....
On the way back we had to stop at a cash machine to see if her wages had had been paid because she was running low on cigarettes, they hadn't and she gave me a sad look of "Lend us a tenner" without actually asking. I didn't.
I parked outside her house, got out and opened her door, I gave her a hug and thanked her, she looked confused and disappointed but kind of resigned that she'd be spending the evening alone and without any cigarettes.
I drove home feeling elated and free but with less faith in humanity, a massive whisky helped and by the time I'd finished the 2nd one I was back online trawling through pages of 50 year olds who were really 60, so I guess they'll be another story to tell you shortly
cheddar said:
My worst recent date
My worst (non recent, circa 2001) was a case of the "bubbly, funny, size 14ish" girl turning out to be ~25 stone loony who drove to the pub we met at and kept topping up her wine with a hip flask of vodka and manically laughing.I declined her offer of a lift home... though she did have a nice looking MX5. The 46 messages overnight were the coup de gras.
Matt UK said:
Fair play to you for taking her for one drink mate.
I feel sorry for her, she was a nice lady, not that interesting to talk to, a 'non asker' (ironically she wrote generously, was very articulate and humorous)Average looker, weathered by life
Bank balance zero
Assets zero
Debt 40k
Income meager
Smoker
Outlook bleak
I should've lent her that tenner.....
Vaud said:
My worst (non recent, circa 2001) was a case of the "bubbly, funny, size 14ish" girl turning out to be ~25 stone loony who drove to the pub we met at and kept topping up her wine with a hip flask of vodka and manically laughing.
I declined her offer of a lift home... though she did have a nice looking MX5. The 46 messages overnight were the coup de gras.
Should've shared the hip flask with her and said 'To hell with it', would have been a fun nightI declined her offer of a lift home... though she did have a nice looking MX5. The 46 messages overnight were the coup de gras.
Vaud said:
My worst (non recent, circa 2001) was a case of the "bubbly, funny, size 14ish" girl turning out to be ~25 stone loony who drove to the pub we met at and kept topping up her wine with a hip flask of vodka and manically laughing.
I declined her offer of a lift home... though she did have a nice looking MX5. The 46 messages overnight were the coup de gras.
Any woman that describes herself as bubbly should instantly ring alarm bells unless you're into VFM birds. They're guaranteed to be wider than they are tall.I declined her offer of a lift home... though she did have a nice looking MX5. The 46 messages overnight were the coup de gras.
All that jazz said:
Any woman that describes herself as bubbly should instantly ring alarm bells unless you're into VFM birds. They're guaranteed to be wider than they are tall.
To be honest it wasn't the curves that bothered me, it was more the drink driving (it was quite a lot of vodka)cheddar said:
Matt UK said:
Fair play to you for taking her for one drink mate.
I feel sorry for her, she was a nice lady, not that interesting to talk to, a 'non asker' (ironically she wrote generously, was very articulate and humorous)Average looker, weathered by life
Bank balance zero
Assets zero
Debt 40k
Income meager
Smoker
Outlook bleak
I should've lent her that tenner.....
This one is a cracker but i am happy i did it as it gave me more confidence and meant i get a little bit lol.
Back in September i was on plenty of fish one evening when i received a message from a girl who lived 25 miles away from me. She looked lovely in her pictures and seemed to be quite a nice person at first. I took her out and the first date went well so i asked if she wanted to go on a second. Again this went great so met again for a third. Fourth date i was invited over to her house and i met her mum along with most of the family. It was all going great and i was enjoying it until it all started to go wrong after 6 weeks.
On her birthday i stayed over and get her some perfume and jagermeister as a present. I also took her out for a nice meal and paid for the drinks. So it is the morning of her birthday and she opens her presents. Seems happy with the perfume and laughed at the jager. I was knackered having been up with her all night doing things. She lay down beside me and i asked when we were going over to her grans house. She got right up and walked into the livingroom face like thunder. I walk in and ask her what is wrong. She is fuming at me for not giving her attention. We sit awkwardly for 10 minutes and then she asks me to leave which i do. I collect my things and tidy any mess i make. I closed the door and she instantly burst into tears. I drive home and within a hour i have 2 missed call and a text begging me to come back over. I ignore these and get back to her a few days later. We have a phone conversation and decide to give things a second chance. I go over to hers that weekend and then decide that things aren't the same and i knew i could do much better (this sounds big headed but this girl swore non stop, had no respect for others, was on anti depressants which she told me about on her birthday while we were having a meal and she also claimed to have been raped a few months prior and told me that she goes on 9 day periods). I stay the weekend and then leave. I phone her and tell her that i no longer want to see her which she takes a bit badly but hey its my life.
I am glad i did this as this was my first relationship. I learned what i wanted from a girl and now have a better judgement when speaking to others. I am still single at the moment but i am continually talking to new girls on POF so hopefully ill soon find someone nice.
Back in September i was on plenty of fish one evening when i received a message from a girl who lived 25 miles away from me. She looked lovely in her pictures and seemed to be quite a nice person at first. I took her out and the first date went well so i asked if she wanted to go on a second. Again this went great so met again for a third. Fourth date i was invited over to her house and i met her mum along with most of the family. It was all going great and i was enjoying it until it all started to go wrong after 6 weeks.
On her birthday i stayed over and get her some perfume and jagermeister as a present. I also took her out for a nice meal and paid for the drinks. So it is the morning of her birthday and she opens her presents. Seems happy with the perfume and laughed at the jager. I was knackered having been up with her all night doing things. She lay down beside me and i asked when we were going over to her grans house. She got right up and walked into the livingroom face like thunder. I walk in and ask her what is wrong. She is fuming at me for not giving her attention. We sit awkwardly for 10 minutes and then she asks me to leave which i do. I collect my things and tidy any mess i make. I closed the door and she instantly burst into tears. I drive home and within a hour i have 2 missed call and a text begging me to come back over. I ignore these and get back to her a few days later. We have a phone conversation and decide to give things a second chance. I go over to hers that weekend and then decide that things aren't the same and i knew i could do much better (this sounds big headed but this girl swore non stop, had no respect for others, was on anti depressants which she told me about on her birthday while we were having a meal and she also claimed to have been raped a few months prior and told me that she goes on 9 day periods). I stay the weekend and then leave. I phone her and tell her that i no longer want to see her which she takes a bit badly but hey its my life.
I am glad i did this as this was my first relationship. I learned what i wanted from a girl and now have a better judgement when speaking to others. I am still single at the moment but i am continually talking to new girls on POF so hopefully ill soon find someone nice.
Shore said:
his story
That's a bit of a nuts one. If you genuinely were not feeling it then you did the right thing ending it when you did. Leaving it to go on would have made things a lot worse in the long run.When you say "first relationship" surely you don't mean your first ever right?
'Dating' - what are your definitions of this?
Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want? I often wonder if it's just the done thing, sheep, going with what society expects you to do. Without really considering if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person you seek to 'date'.
I'm at a crossroads at the moment so kind of thinking out loud here.
It's always good to meet new people - I wouldn't have been so cold as Blown2CV suggests. Cheddar met someone New who wasn't a bad person, just not the right person for him. No one lost out here or was hurt.
I gave a guy a couple of quid for some food the other day. No date. Just a stranger walking the street. He was thankful. I smiled. I'm probably never going to see him again and had no intention of marrying him!
Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want? I often wonder if it's just the done thing, sheep, going with what society expects you to do. Without really considering if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person you seek to 'date'.
I'm at a crossroads at the moment so kind of thinking out loud here.
cheddar said:
Blown2CV said:
christ. It's nice to be nice but dating isn't charity work. I'd have walked.
Thanks, each to their own...I gave a guy a couple of quid for some food the other day. No date. Just a stranger walking the street. He was thankful. I smiled. I'm probably never going to see him again and had no intention of marrying him!
Gretchen said:
'Dating' - what are your definitions of this?
Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want? I often wonder if it's just the done thing, sheep, going with what society expects you to do. Without really considering if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person you seek to 'date'.
I'm at a crossroads at the moment so kind of thinking out loud here.
It's always good to meet new people - I wouldn't have been so cold as Blown2CV suggests. Cheddar met someone New who wasn't a bad person, just not the right person for him. No one lost out here or was hurt.
I gave a guy a couple of quid for some food the other day. No date. Just a stranger walking the street. He was thankful. I smiled. I'm probably never going to see him again and had no intention of marrying him!
It's a fair point gretchen, I agree that meeting new people from all walks of life is rewarding. Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want? I often wonder if it's just the done thing, sheep, going with what society expects you to do. Without really considering if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person you seek to 'date'.
I'm at a crossroads at the moment so kind of thinking out loud here.
cheddar said:
Blown2CV said:
christ. It's nice to be nice but dating isn't charity work. I'd have walked.
Thanks, each to their own...I gave a guy a couple of quid for some food the other day. No date. Just a stranger walking the street. He was thankful. I smiled. I'm probably never going to see him again and had no intention of marrying him!
But I think in the context of OLD, the issues can be misrepresentation in the getting to know you text chat. If someone sold themselves as X and turns out to be Y, I can see how even going for a drink could be a total waste of everyone's time. Some might see it through to be polite (I'm probably in that camp) but I can see how others wouldn't.
If I'd turned up to buy a Maserati if see online and the seller admits on their drive they're actually selling a Ford Focus, I'd turn on my heel and walk without a word uttered.
Gretchen said:
'Dating' - what are your definitions of this?
Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want?
I think dating is how you'd refer to each other in the 'getting to know you' stage. I think if it's been going on a fair while and you both feel happy with each others company, and so long as each party knows what the other wants, you're in a relationship.Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want?
As for knowing what I want, I don't know. I'll date people i like and see how it goes, but more often than not things end within a few months and I rarely care. I'd like to find someone who after a few dates, I'm genuinely excited to spend time with and leave feeling I've had a good day. I guess I want to actually fall in love and live happily ever after, but this is real life and so while it won't be quite so perfect, I'll take as close to that as I can get.
That kind of thing doesn't happen often, twice in my lifetime actually, but it's there and ultimately it's what I want.
Pebbles167 said:
Gretchen said:
'Dating' - what are your definitions of this?
Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want?
I think dating is how you'd refer to each other in the 'getting to know you' stage. I think if it's been going on a fair while and you both feel happy with each others company, and so long as each party knows what the other wants, you're in a relationship.Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want?
As for knowing what I want, I don't know. I'll date people i like and see how it goes, but more often than not things end within a few months and I rarely care. I'd like to find someone who after a few dates, I'm genuinely excited to spend time with and leave feeling I've had a good day. I guess I want to actually fall in love and live happily ever after, but this is real life and so while it won't be quite so perfect, I'll take as close to that as I can get.
That kind of thing doesn't happen often, twice in my lifetime actually, but it's there and ultimately it's what I want.
t. Panicking about giving up my 'single' life. I don't think I'm the only one here either. Pebbles167 said:
That's a bit of a nuts one. If you genuinely were not feeling it then you did the right thing ending it when you did. Leaving it to go on would have made things a lot worse in the long run.
When you say "first relationship" surely you don't mean your first ever right?
Yeah it was the fairest for both of us. She was a bit too much for me to handle. She used to be a bit bipolar with me and the way she always swore even when speaking to her mum was shocking. I was brought up to respect my elders and not to swear at them none stop. My favourite thing that happened was the last time i seen her for the first time i swore at her. Her mum then came into her room the following morning and she told her about it in front of me. It was rather pathetic in all honesty and i was trying not to laugh. When you say "first relationship" surely you don't mean your first ever right?
Yes my first relationship. It shocks alot of people but thats what happens when you don't go out. I regret it and wish when i was younger i had the same mindset as i do now. I feel like i have missed out on alot and that kind of saddens me. Now my priorities have changed and i want a girl in my life. Somethings missing and thats what it is. I now actively use dating sites and try build relationships with girls. Sometimes it works but other times it doesn't. There is also alot of time wasters on these sites.
Gretchen said:
'Dating' - what are your definitions of this?
Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want? I often wonder if it's just the done thing, sheep, going with what society expects you to do. Without really considering if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person you seek to 'date'.
I'm at a crossroads at the moment so kind of thinking out loud here.
It's always good to meet new people - I wouldn't have been so cold as Blown2CV suggests. Cheddar met someone New who wasn't a bad person, just not the right person for him. No one lost out here or was hurt.
I gave a guy a couple of quid for some food the other day. No date. Just a stranger walking the street. He was thankful. I smiled. I'm probably never going to see him again and had no intention of marrying him!
lets not get into a kindness-off. I do my bit, where it feels appropriate. I wouldn't pity a rough internet date who lied on her profile with money though. That feels like prostitution only, weirdly, less empowering. Also I'd feel a bit conned so wouldn't be hugely in the mood to cover that month's brighthouse bill for her.Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want? I often wonder if it's just the done thing, sheep, going with what society expects you to do. Without really considering if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person you seek to 'date'.
I'm at a crossroads at the moment so kind of thinking out loud here.
cheddar said:
Blown2CV said:
christ. It's nice to be nice but dating isn't charity work. I'd have walked.
Thanks, each to their own...I gave a guy a couple of quid for some food the other day. No date. Just a stranger walking the street. He was thankful. I smiled. I'm probably never going to see him again and had no intention of marrying him!
Gretchen said:
'Dating' - what are your definitions of this?
Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want? I often wonder if it's just the done thing, sheep, going with what society expects you to do. Without really considering if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person you seek to 'date'.
I'm at a crossroads at the moment so kind of thinking out loud here.
It's always good to meet new people - I wouldn't have been so cold as Blown2CV suggests. Cheddar met someone New who wasn't a bad person, just not the right person for him. No one lost out here or was hurt.
I gave a guy a couple of quid for some food the other day. No date. Just a stranger walking the street. He was thankful. I smiled. I'm probably never going to see him again and had no intention of marrying him!
I'd like someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with ta very much!Many of the posts here are from guys who seem to be on these sites for long term dating. Not dating with the intention of settling down with a life partner. Do you all really know what you want? I often wonder if it's just the done thing, sheep, going with what society expects you to do. Without really considering if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person you seek to 'date'.
I'm at a crossroads at the moment so kind of thinking out loud here.
cheddar said:
Blown2CV said:
christ. It's nice to be nice but dating isn't charity work. I'd have walked.
Thanks, each to their own...I gave a guy a couple of quid for some food the other day. No date. Just a stranger walking the street. He was thankful. I smiled. I'm probably never going to see him again and had no intention of marrying him!
Ideally you should do what makes you happy and find someone that makes you happy. Not wanting to surrender some of singledoms liberties is something I'd accept for other gains in a relationship. I can't speak for all men but I'd hazard a guess that 50% don't know what they want (and that's just the guys there for dating not just a bunk up)
Little update then 
On piece of fish, I've messaged the apple of my eye four times now. In the final one, I asked her out (as advised on here), promising that if it's a no, I'll cease bothering her if she lets me know.
Does no response = no news is good news? Or have I been blocked? Who knows.
Meanwhile, I'm heading for 650 views on snatch dot com. No others are leaping off the screen at me as yet.
Still, it's quite a hoot reading 'twixt the lines on profiles.
On piece of fish, I've messaged the apple of my eye four times now. In the final one, I asked her out (as advised on here), promising that if it's a no, I'll cease bothering her if she lets me know.Does no response = no news is good news? Or have I been blocked? Who knows.
Meanwhile, I'm heading for 650 views on snatch dot com. No others are leaping off the screen at me as yet.
Still, it's quite a hoot reading 'twixt the lines on profiles.
Edited by davhill on Monday 23 January 05:14
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