Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Calza said:
Does anyone else have the problem on tinder where a girl only posts photos with a friend / friends and it's just too much hard work to figure out which one she is?
I'm sure I've missed a few hot girls through laziness!
I always suspect that the reason they do that is because the friend is prettier so you'll take a gamble and improve their chances.I'm sure I've missed a few hot girls through laziness!
My two penneth worth.
I've been single for the last 9 months and used POF for most of that time. I have had many messages and many conversations that all go well until you mention meeting then it's every excuse why they can't or you plain never hear from them again.
My friends and I have a few conclusions for why people do this from getting ego trips to just being shy, who knows.
Any way I have found that the best platform for meeting potential partners on line by a huge margin is face book. I spend time sending friend requests to people I fancy that have some connection no matter how tenuous and if they accept try to start a conversation going.
It's the age old sales tool of using warmed up referrals. I have found that if a single person is interested they are much more likely to meet for a drink if they or some one they know knows you.
And yes I have met a nice young lady that way.
I know it won't work for everybody but It worked for me, hope it helps some one.
I've been single for the last 9 months and used POF for most of that time. I have had many messages and many conversations that all go well until you mention meeting then it's every excuse why they can't or you plain never hear from them again.
My friends and I have a few conclusions for why people do this from getting ego trips to just being shy, who knows.
Any way I have found that the best platform for meeting potential partners on line by a huge margin is face book. I spend time sending friend requests to people I fancy that have some connection no matter how tenuous and if they accept try to start a conversation going.
It's the age old sales tool of using warmed up referrals. I have found that if a single person is interested they are much more likely to meet for a drink if they or some one they know knows you.
And yes I have met a nice young lady that way.
I know it won't work for everybody but It worked for me, hope it helps some one.
Mashedpotatoes said:
I spend time sending friend requests to people I fancy that have some connection no matter how tenuous and if they accept try to start a conversation going.
I used to do this when I was in school, the problem I had on several occasions was they'd accept my request and then write on my wall "Do I even know you?"...Which then meant my friends would take the piss, saying I'm desperate!
Admittedly when the same thing happened to them I'd be the first person laughing about it!
TREMAiNE said:
Mashedpotatoes said:
I spend time sending friend requests to people I fancy that have some connection no matter how tenuous and if they accept try to start a conversation going.
I used to do this when I was in school, the problem I had on several occasions was they'd accept my request and then write on my wall "Do I even know you?"...Which then meant my friends would take the piss, saying I'm desperate!
Admittedly when the same thing happened to them I'd be the first person laughing about it!
From recent experience on tinder and happn I would say you'd have to be retarded not to smash the arris out of a vast amount of totty, if that was what you were chasing. I only swipe yes to perhaps 1 in 10 to remove the swathes of horrors and its then like taking candy from a baby.
I really am staggered at how hard work many on this thread make it out to be.
I really am staggered at how hard work many on this thread make it out to be.
I'm in a bit of a wilderness on the dating front and have been for several years. I'm 27 now and most of the single women on online sites are younger than me. I feel that unless I make some progress on turning it around in the next year or so, it'll be the scrapheap for me.
Rarely get replies on POF. I've been on it off and on for about 3 years, from that I've had 2 dates - last one a year and a half ago. All my effort of writing thought-out messages, tweaking profile text, taking good photos when doing stuff (never used to) for my profile, always come down to nothing. I must have messages over a thousand girls on there by now, I've even tried bottom of the barrel girls just to see if they'd reply.
Had a small number of matches on Tinder, didn't turn into anything. Now they have the likes limit, girls are being more picky and I get no matches at all.
I live in a big city but no other sites have many members here, even OkCupid and Match which I've tried on a few occasions. I live here for work, so no friends here except "work friends" for Friday night drinks. I have friends in other cities, some have tried to set me up with their girlfriends' friends but they are competitive and are always careful to choose someone worse than their own girlfriend for me in case it works out and damages their position, nothing came out of this and it annoyed me. The "always single" etc. thing is always a jibe that's thrown my way when someone is on the losing side of banter, I find myself keeping quiet at times and just letting other things wash over me, this leads to accusations of becoming boring, it saddens me.
I'm afraid it's getting me down big time, I know it shouldn't. Many people I know are starting to move in together, marry, have kids, couples dinner parties etc. I have no desire to do that now, but I have absolutely nothing, zero, and have never had more than a date. My hair is starting to thin out in parts, and the front is receding. I may need to have glasses in the next 2 years. I go to the gym a few times a week, it keeps me fit but no visible results. By the end of the work week, I'm really tired. Not sure I'd have the energy for any relationship and keeping up with work. I see guys everywhere I go happy, successful, fit, tall, well dressed, good looking, popular, nice car, etc., which just confirms to me why the hell would any girl have interest in me. I had none of those things a few years ago, all I have now is success, nice clothes and car. I feel left out when I see friends and relationships are discussed, for some of them its become a taboo subject to bring up because they know my situation. I'm always the single one at family events, people used to joke in a friendly way but now it's a no-go topic. It feels like I'm already on the conveyor belt to the scrapheap, and everyone knows it.
What the f
k do I do, PH?
Rarely get replies on POF. I've been on it off and on for about 3 years, from that I've had 2 dates - last one a year and a half ago. All my effort of writing thought-out messages, tweaking profile text, taking good photos when doing stuff (never used to) for my profile, always come down to nothing. I must have messages over a thousand girls on there by now, I've even tried bottom of the barrel girls just to see if they'd reply.
Had a small number of matches on Tinder, didn't turn into anything. Now they have the likes limit, girls are being more picky and I get no matches at all.
I live in a big city but no other sites have many members here, even OkCupid and Match which I've tried on a few occasions. I live here for work, so no friends here except "work friends" for Friday night drinks. I have friends in other cities, some have tried to set me up with their girlfriends' friends but they are competitive and are always careful to choose someone worse than their own girlfriend for me in case it works out and damages their position, nothing came out of this and it annoyed me. The "always single" etc. thing is always a jibe that's thrown my way when someone is on the losing side of banter, I find myself keeping quiet at times and just letting other things wash over me, this leads to accusations of becoming boring, it saddens me.
I'm afraid it's getting me down big time, I know it shouldn't. Many people I know are starting to move in together, marry, have kids, couples dinner parties etc. I have no desire to do that now, but I have absolutely nothing, zero, and have never had more than a date. My hair is starting to thin out in parts, and the front is receding. I may need to have glasses in the next 2 years. I go to the gym a few times a week, it keeps me fit but no visible results. By the end of the work week, I'm really tired. Not sure I'd have the energy for any relationship and keeping up with work. I see guys everywhere I go happy, successful, fit, tall, well dressed, good looking, popular, nice car, etc., which just confirms to me why the hell would any girl have interest in me. I had none of those things a few years ago, all I have now is success, nice clothes and car. I feel left out when I see friends and relationships are discussed, for some of them its become a taboo subject to bring up because they know my situation. I'm always the single one at family events, people used to joke in a friendly way but now it's a no-go topic. It feels like I'm already on the conveyor belt to the scrapheap, and everyone knows it.
What the f
k do I do, PH?L555BAT said:
What the fk do I do, PH?
Man the fk do I do, PH?k up? Sounds like you need to get happy with yourself before being able to find someone else. You say you go to the gym and dont see results, why not? Either sort out training or change your eating. Do you play sports or are a member of any clubs or societies? That is a far better way of meeting people than t'internet. You have success, and a nice car, so nice clothes are simply a case of finding stuff you like and buying them. Okay, you cant do owt about being tall, and the hair thing is hardly a big issue - either shave it short or leave it long to hide the thin bits if it bothers you.
Go and read all the advice over the last few pages to Matt, take the bits which are relevant to you, and learn.
If its got to the stage whereby your friends cant even talk about you being single without you getting upset then a gf aint going to fix that. You need to sort out you first, and then the woman will follow. Confidence, and being happy, is far more important than what you look like, how much money you have, or what car you drive.
EDIT; if its any consolation, my friends are getting married, moving in together, some are starting to have kids. You get used to being 'the 3rd wheel', but it only matters if it bothers you. There is an American sitcom, and I cant remember for the hell of me what its called, with 2 couples and a single guy, watch that for tips on how to be an awesome 3rd wheel.
Edited by Condi on Sunday 22 March 22:13
hora said:
Come on guys give me some epic good news/pulling news 
47, split from my wife of 14 years last October, waited a week before signing up on NZ equivalent of Match.I didn't put a pic up publicly to start but was getting 3 or 4 enquiries every day/evening, so it pays to put a fair amount of detail in your profile.
First 'date', finished our coffees and she invited me back to hers - "You have to be gone by 3.15pm when the kids come home though".
For the next couple of months I was a bit of a slut, picked up a stalker too but less said about that the better.
Lawyer, partner in a firm took me back to hers and surprised me with her passion for (very) rough sex. When I refused to choke her or slap her face she chased me out of her house screaming that she would find a real man to f**k her next time.
Then I met a lady and took down my profile, that lasted a couple of months but I knew it wasn't for the long term so split.
A bit more slutting, including a lady who had never had a threesome and let me get a renter in to join us.
Another lady who would have been perfect but had some serious hangups in bed so I knew that wouldn't work.
Now I am a couple of weeks into a monogamous relationship with a lovely lady, lets see how this pans out.
Not all of you will consider any of that a success story, but some of you will.
Have fun
L55
Confidence is the key even a little will work wonders, if a fat, balding and nearly 40 something like me can (until recently) get laid on a regular basis (half of wich with woman your age)
Than so can you.
By the way your friends sound like dicks you may be better off with out them in fact getting rid of them may help with the confidence.
Don't forget that the old fashioned way of getting laid still works wonders.
Confidence is the key even a little will work wonders, if a fat, balding and nearly 40 something like me can (until recently) get laid on a regular basis (half of wich with woman your age)
Than so can you.
By the way your friends sound like dicks you may be better off with out them in fact getting rid of them may help with the confidence.
Don't forget that the old fashioned way of getting laid still works wonders.
NNK said:
hora said:
Come on guys give me some epic good news/pulling news
47, split from my wife of 14 years last October, waited a week before signing up on NZ equivalent of Match.I didn't put a pic up publicly to start but was getting 3 or 4 enquiries every day/evening, so it pays to put a fair amount of detail in your profile.
First 'date', finished our coffees and she invited me back to hers - "You have to be gone by 3.15pm when the kids come home though".
For the next couple of months I was a bit of a slut, picked up a stalker too but less said about that the better.
Lawyer, partner in a firm took me back to hers and surprised me with her passion for (very) rough sex. When I refused to choke her or slap her face she chased me out of her house screaming that she would find a real man to f**k her next time.
Then I met a lady and took down my profile, that lasted a couple of months but I knew it wasn't for the long term so split.
A bit more slutting, including a lady who had never had a threesome and let me get a renter in to join us.
Another lady who would have been perfect but had some serious hangups in bed so I knew that wouldn't work.
Now I am a couple of weeks into a monogamous relationship with a lovely lady, lets see how this pans out.
Not all of you will consider any of that a success story, but some of you will.
Have fun
I've had the uber-aggressive, "choke me" type before. Scary stuff, no shame in doing a runner there...
Oh, and "renter"
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