Match.com (Volume 6)

[Robw73]

Impasse said:

Or not to be too hasty to jump from one relationship into another.

Strange that you should post this, as it's a question that I've asked myself a lot.
My marriage wasn't working for a long time (we are talking years not months)
It came to a point where we looked upon each other as friends, nothing more. The intimacy sadly was missing.
We are still friends, and everything is perfectly amicable.

I feel I am ready for dating, although I know that I won't go in all guns blazing!
I'm not looking for a quick fling, or a casual bunk-up, I would rather slowly build a new relationship (I know this goes against all the Alpha males advice on PH).

I moved out of the family home, and the hardest thing to adjust too was coming home to an empty house.
I miss conversation, I miss not having someone to chat with, things that you take for granted when you are in a relationship.

Am I being hasty? Maybe, maybe not, but if I am I think I will know the second I go out on my first date.

[MontyC]

KFC said:

CountZero23 said:

I'm 34 and consider most girls my age 'past it'

I'm a male close to that age and I sort of agree with this... by mid 30's the females left on the shelf all seem to have a variety of issues and are single for a reason

I think this is very true Im 31 and consider girls my age a bit past it too, the current Miss MontyC is 23 and turns a lot of heads. And funny thing is its mostly the old guys in there 40s-50s that are walking with their wives seemingly happily married that are the ones whose heads turn most.

[randlemarcus]

Robw73 said:

Strange that you should post this, as it's a question that I've asked myself a lot.
My marriage wasn't working for a long time (we are talking years not months)
It came to a point where we looked upon each other as friends, nothing more. The intimacy sadly was missing.
We are still friends, and everything is perfectly amicable.

I feel I am ready for dating, although I know that I won't go in all guns blazing!
I'm not looking for a quick fling, or a casual bunk-up, I would rather slowly build a new relationship (I know this goes against all the Alpha males advice on PH).

I moved out of the family home, and the hardest thing to adjust too was coming home to an empty house.
I miss conversation, I miss not having someone to chat with, things that you take for granted when you are in a relationship.

Am I being hasty? Maybe, maybe not, but if I am I think I will know the second I go out on my first date.

Problem is that most relationship oriented folk, whether male or female would hear "just separated - rebound alert" and avoid going on the date in the first place. For the minute, focus on getting your bits wet, and bugger the longer term

[CountZero23]

To be fair Rob it sounds like your relationship had been over for quite some time and you're ready to go out and have some fun.

Only thing to be wary of is looking to replace the 'relationship'part of your life, you need to remind yourself you are starting from ground zero and while you might want something more serious it has to start of casual and work its way from there.

Robw73 said:

I ventured on to the delights of online dating site a couple of weeks ago.
Initial contact was good, but then reality set in!

Robw73 said:

There seems to be a BIG issue with the magic 40, or in my case, being on the wrong side of it.

So you got a fair few responses of girls you liked who knew how old you were and you are thinking it's an age thing?

I'd suggest this is more a problem in your head that you are projecting onto the girls. If it's only been a few weeks I'd be encouraged by you success so far, think of how many on this thread spend months on POF without getting a response. The pretty girls on there have lots of optiosn, get 20 messages a day in some cases so you need to be persistent and have a thick skin.

Out of interest which dating site are you on? Match might be a better fit for the kind of girls your after. Tend to be looking for something more serious and with more effort than those on POF / Tinder.

[Shnozz]

RobinBanks said:

Impasse said:

Or not to be too hasty to jump from one relationship into another.

Why's that? If the relationship is finished, do whatever you want.

Robw73 said:

the hardest thing to adjust too was coming home to an empty house.
I miss conversation, I miss not having someone to chat with, things that you take for granted when you are in a relationship.

There's your answer...

Why not? Because if you're just out from the last relationship you're trying to fill a hole. Take time to learn who you are and how to be entirely content on your own, its ironic that at that point women will be more attracted.

There's a reason why women rebut men not long out of a relationship and, if I am honest, I can see their reasoning.

[Robw73]

CountZero23 said:

Out of interest which dating site are you on? Match might be a better fit for the kind of girls your after. Tend to be looking for something more serious and with more effort than those on POF / Tinder.

Good points Scnozz, duely noted.

I'm currently on Tinder, POF and Happn.

Happn is non-existant, I think more to my location than anything else.

Tinder I am currently chatting with 3 ladies (a 32 yr old & 2 that are 38 years old). I don't think anything will develop from these, but hope to be proven wrong.

POF - I am talking to a 32 year old. This is my most exciting prospect. Feel quite excited, but it's early days.
I have found POF to be the best. Plenty of interaction and communication from all over the place.

Maybe I should peek at Match.....but, I am fairly encouraged by things so far.
We will see what happens.

[RobinBanks]

Shnozz said:

There's your answer...

Why not? Because if you're just out from the last relationship you're trying to fill a hole. Take time to learn who you are and how to be entirely content on your own, its ironic that at that point women will be more attracted.

There's a reason why women rebut men not long out of a relationship and, if I am honest, I can see their reasoning.

I see. Maybe it's just me then. I've never been even slightly bothered by a break up - I don't understand how it can be upsetting.
I just experience it as moving from one situation to another. It's an inconvenience at most for me.

[CountZero23]

I didn't end up doing the class with the gym girl and I didn't ask her out for a drink.

I did get her number, agreed to do a class next week and she's enthusiastically agreed to come skydiving with me next month.

Things are not going to plan but are going in an interesting direction...

[Blown2CV]

i got the number of a PT in the gym once, she was quite nice. We text a bit, didn't really close the deal. She left that gym and that was it, pretty sure she was just trying to drum up business.

[Robw73]

CountZero23 said:

I didn't end up doing the class with the gym girl and I didn't ask her out for a drink.

I did get her number, agreed to do a class next week and she's enthusiastically agreed to come skydiving with me next month.

Things are not going to plan but are going in an interesting direction...

All sounds good sir.

[CountZero23]

Blown2CV said:

i got the number of a PT in the gym once, she was quite nice. We text a bit, didn't really close the deal. She left that gym and that was it, pretty sure she was just trying to drum up business.

Found she only works there and does't do PT, either she's just very friendly or there's something going. All very odd doing this kind of thing sober in a gym rather than half cut in a bar.

[Robw73]

CountZero23 said:

Found she only works there and does't do PT, either she's just very friendly or there's something going. All very odd doing this kind of thing sober in a gym rather than half cut in a bar.

It means more sober.
Now, stop distracting me.
I have business to attend to on POF!

[Markgenesis]

CountZero23 said:

think of how many on this thread spend months on POF without getting a response. The pretty girls on there have lots of optiosn, get 20 messages a day in some cases so you need to be persistent and have a thick skin.

So you recon i've done not bad in two weeks on POF with my interest from the nice solicitor (blew that with a thoughtless text) and a reply from a gorgeous mixed race girl (cross between Halle Berry and Rihanna), that was a strange one, sent her a nice message (she was an animal lover so mainly about animals), she sent a lovely reply (about animals and asking about me), sent her a nice reply telling her about myself (mainly work and interests), then nothing ?, then her account disappeared

Can be frustrating, sent an average looking blonde girl a nice message (questions about her interests, mentioned a couple of things in common, a funny, not rude line), she "read deleted" without even looking at my profile

Also WTF is it with women who put pics of them with guys in their profile ?, puts me right off, i see a pic of her with some bloke, it's a dating site FFS.

Another lass (quite attractive) has FKUDALE as her handle, so she's just on there to get back at her ex

Another horror who has about ten pics and is frowning in every single pic

[CountZero23]

Markgenesis said:

CountZero23 said:

think of how many on this thread spend months on POF without getting a response. The pretty girls on there have lots of optiosn, get 20 messages a day in some cases so you need to be persistent and have a thick skin.

So you recon i've done not bad in two weeks on POF with my interest from the nice solicitor (blew that with a thoughtless text) and a reply from a gorgeous mixed race girl (cross between Halle Berry and Rihanna), that was a strange one, sent her a nice message (she was an animal lover so mainly about animals), she sent a lovely reply (about animals and asking about me), sent her a nice reply telling her about myself (mainly work and interests), then nothing ?, then her account disappeared

Can be frustrating, sent an average looking blonde girl a nice message (questions about her interests, mentioned a couple of things in common, a funny, not rude line), she "read deleted" without even looking at my profile

Also WTF is it with women who put pics of them with guys in their profile ?, puts me right off, i see a pic of her with some bloke, it's a dating site FFS.

Another lass (quite attractive) has FKUDALE as her handle, so she's just on there to get back at her ex

Another horror who has about ten pics and is frowning in every single pic

"FKUDALE" - that is absolutely inspired. Welcome to the wacky world of internet dating, from what you've said I take it you're new to it?

Sounds like you've a bit rusty but are having a fair amount of success, persevere and realize it's a numbers game. I often don't get back to a girl I've been talking with, all nice enough though there's always more and it being internet dating you can be incredibly picky. Don't take it personally, POF is very fickle.

Think how many options pretty girls have out in the real world, let alone on a site like POF - tends to only work if you have some chemistry, well, or you drop your standards.

After a shaky start myself of making mistakes almost as bad as trying to talk to a girl about animals. I think I've got back into my stride with this message which got the most enthusiastic response from a very cute tattooed rocker chick.

"
I should stop quoting 70's songs and take this more seriously...

Whats the usual stuff on here...

What do you do for a living?
What are you up to this weekend?
Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Actually fk that, way too dull.

Have you ever been arrested?
What's the most shameful thing you've done in your youth?
Whats the closest you've come to death?"

[Studio117]

A question for the online heartthrobs. At what point do I send cock pics?

[CountZero23]

Studio117 said:

A question for the online heartthrobs. At what point do I send cock pics?

Lead with your best.

[Studio117]

The girls on craigslist seem to want money or turn out to be married men who like a bit of cock on the side. Peter from reading can't father my children.

[ChemicalChaos]

Perhaps us unlucky PHers shoulders a few of these:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3052889/...

[CountZero23]

ChemicalChaos said:

Perhaps us unlucky PHers shoulders a few of these:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3052889/...

Very CC.

How have they been working out for you fella?

[TREMAiNE]

CountZero23 said:

ChemicalChaos said:

Perhaps us unlucky PHers shoulders a few of these:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3052889/...

Very CC.

How have they been working out for you fella?